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Doctor, doctor! My NHS Patient Access app has gone TITSUP*

Bad luck if you want to book an appointment online

Telegram crypto-chat chap says Apple has 'restricted' its app updates worldwide

Noooooo, my stickers!

Half of all Windows 10 users thought: BSOD it, let's get the latest build

April is the cruellest month – and the quickest rollout of an update in the OS's history

Spectre-protectors: If there's something strange in your CPU, who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters in Chrome 67 stop Spectre cross-tab sniffs and more

Lessons learned from Microsoft's ghosts of antitrust past: Step up, Facebook

I see the world + its govt are taking an interest in you. Would you like some help with that?

A Reg-reading techie, a high street bank, some iffy production code – and a financial crash

Code Red We're not saying the last one is connected, but....

Smut site offers VPN so you don't bare all online

If someone asks how you heard about it, tell them you read it at El Reg to save embarrassment

Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control

How's that 'self-driving' vision coming along, again?

Apple will start coughing up government app takedown demand stats

But applications the iGiant removes on its own won't be included

Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Don't trust consumers with their own data

UK Home Office's £885m crim records digi effort: A 'masterclass in incompetence'

Watchdog not happy with Emergency Services Network, either

It's hip to be Square: Twitter founder Jack Dorsey's other firm targets White Van Man

Profile We speak to the ex-Apple hardware guru taking on banks and PayPal

Welcome to your sci-fi dystopia: Sonic firewalls to crumble inaudible ad-tracking phone cookies

Ultrasonic packets of data to and from your handheld killed

Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

Finally, some good Windows 10 news

Welcome to Ubuntu 18.04: Make yourself at GNOME. Cup of data-slurping dispute, anyone?

Comment And sprinkle those angry YouTube vids with a pinch of salt, please

Microsoft gives users options for Office data slurpage – Basic or Full

Would you like to send all or some telemetry back to the Windows goliath?

Oracle nemesis MariaDB tries to lure enterprise folk with TX 3.0

Release adds Big Red compatibility, migration service

Finally: Historic Eudora email code goes open source

'Member that innocent, pre-Zuckerberg time?

About to install the Windows 10 April 2018 Update? You might want to wait a little bit longer

Updated Apps fingered in vanishing desktop snafu

Apple tells app makers to strip VoIP toolkit from iOS software in China

CallKit code no longer welcome in Middle Kingdom

Tesla inches toward GPL compliance in low gear: Source code forcibly ejected into public

Some software blueprints doled out after years of complaints

I got 257 problems, and they're all open source: Report shines light on Wild West of software

It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under

Meet Asteroid, a drop-in Linux upgrade for your unloved smartwatch

Hickory dickory Docker, the containers ran on the clock... er

Software development slow because 'Most of our ideas suck'

Continuous delivery, make way for continuous experimentation

Void Linux gave itself to the void, Korora needs a long siesta – life is hard for small distros

If you want your fave to survive, you'll need to dig deep

Google shoots Chrome 66's silencer after developer backlash

Games and alerts lost their voice to feature designed to hush auto-play vids

Oracle-botherer Rimini Street cuddles up to Salesforce

Just as the $50m returned from Big Red court battles lifts profits

Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

Something for the Weekend, Sir? If you find our user interfaces unintuitive, that's YOUR problem, chum

Wanted that Windows 10 update but have an Intel SSD? Computer says no

Updated 600p and Pro 6000p devices beset by 'incompatibility issues'

App devs bewildered by last-minute Google GDPR klaxon

Don't worry, regulation still, er, WEEKS away

Google tweaks Wear OS – yes, it's still around

Battery optimisation and some love for Assistant in dev preview

Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where Windows hurt you

Build .NET Core 3.0 will be a soothing balm, claims veep Julia Liuson

Citrix joins the ‘reinvent the future of work’ chorus with a workspace app and security stuff

But the XenMobile brand has joined the choir eternal

Systemd-free Devuan Linux looses version 2.0 release candidate

More desktops. More boards. More ‘init freedom’ and a long-ish roadmap

You have GNU sense of humor! Glibc abortion 'joke' diff tiff leaves Richard Stallman miffed

FSF firebrand rails against purged abort() docs 'satire'

Crypto chat app Signal's disappearing messages found hiding on macOS

Mac Notification Center sometimes clones supposedly transient notes

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