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Drop the F-bomb, get your coding typos auto-corrected

Git, Bad, Ugly El Reg surveys fun stuff that's popped up on GitHub and beyond

You're doing Hadoop and Spark wrong and they will probably fail

Developers want the new shiny, users forget integration and then along come the vendors ...

BS Detection 101 becomes actual University subject

Uni of Washington says the age of Big Data makes statistical literacy essential

Ditching your call centre for an app? Be careful not to get SAP-slapped

'Indirect' licence court victory – but at what cost?

'At least I can walk away with my dignity' – Streetmap founder after Google lawsuit loss

Interview Kate Sutton talks to El Reg about search and maps

Love lambda, love Microsoft's Graph Engine. But you fly alone

Analysis Open source with a difference, from Redmond

Oh happy day! Linus Torvalds has given the world Linux 4.10

Complete with faster disk reads, support for more CPUs and the usual grab bag of goodness

Microsoft makes cheeky bid for MongoDB devs on Azure security grounds

Come and use DocumentDB, we've fired up Photoshop

Microsoft ups Surface slab prices for Brits. Darn weak pound, eh?

If we had a pound for every time a biz cited UK currency woes

Dirty data, flogged cores: YES, Microsoft SQL Server R Services has its positives

The language isn't the problem, it's you and your PC

Talk of tech innovation is bullsh*t. Shut up and get the work done – says Linus Torvalds

OSLS A top life tip, there, from the Linux kernel chieftain

IBM hooks up with Hortonworks to Hadoop Big Blue products

+Comment But customers welcome to taste IBM's own-brand Hadoop sauce...

Oracle hatches 'incubator' OpenJDK APIs idea

Unfinished APIs in JDK and Java SE

Two words, Mozilla: SPEED! NOW! Quit fiddling and get serious

Opinion Unleash operation Thrash Chrome

IBM and ServiceNow lock eyes, vow long commitment

Roses are red. 'Global strategic alliance' is … eeeww. We've written a more fun headline for you even though V-Day is over

Amazon Chimes into video-conferencing: Watch out Skype and Google

See this, Cisco?

If you need an in-mem analytics cruncher – and, hey, who doesn't? – Microsoft Graph Engine is now open source

Data wrangler with MIT license

Munich may dump Linux for Windows

Vote due next week on move that's driven by cost concerns

Chap scripts remote Linux takeover for sysadmins

Use this for good, not for evil. But not if you care about your penguins

Linus Torvalds decides world doesn't need a new Linux today

'I could have released the final 4.10' but preferred not to over-complicate things

Oracle refuses to let Java copyright battle die – another appeal filed in war against Google

If at first you don't succeed, try { try { again } }

It's 2017 so SAP's added a Siri clone and machine learning to ERP

S/4HANA 'Cloud' now comes with vertical editions, but not notably more cloud

Zut alors! Uber wrecked my marriage, fumes French businessman

Now give me €45 MEEELLION to make up for it

Windows 10: What is it good for? Microsoft pitches to devs ahead of Creators Update

Gaming, mixed reality, Cortana Skills on the agenda as MS continues to plug UWP

SQL Server on Linux? HELL YES! Linux on Windows 10? Meh

Like GNU running in Windows – outrageous. And pointless

ITU-T wants video sizes to halve again by 2020

Boffins challenged to make H.265 compression look flabby

Vivaldi and me: Just browsing? Nah, I'm sold

This power browser has turned seriously useful

Android's February fix-fest flings 58 patches

Nexus owners are sweet. The rest of us have to hope we don't get bricked by baddies

Web-standards-allergic Apple unveils WebGPU, a web graphics standard

Cross-platform dev is for low-rent chumps, unless it's our cross-platform dev

Streetmap loses appeal against Google Maps dominance judgement

'A sad day for the internet' says cartographic Brit competitor

It's a Flink-off: Hazelcast launches own big data munching distributed processing engine

Brilliant, it's about jolly time someone invented one of those

Ubuntu Linux daddy Mark Shuttleworth: Carrots for Unity 8?

Of risk, re-invention and doing what's good for you

Why don't you all just f-f-f-fade away, Kaspersky asks generation SocMed

'FFForget' tool backs up social media if you quit. But who really needs paid service?

Update or shut up: Microsoft's choice for desktop Skypers

Mac and Windows Skype users given until March 1st to modernise themselves

Tails Linux farewells 32-bit processors with imminent version 3.0

Security-centric distro also has some fixes in new version 2.10

Javapocalypse soon! Oracle warns devs to bin plugins, fast

The last browser to support NPAPI plugins – Firefox 52
ESR - should appear in March

If Linus Torvalds works well in airports, Linux 4.10 will land next week

Linux lord wishes he'd consulted his calendar before last week's hurry-up suggestion

Chrome 56 quietly added Bluetooth snitch API

+Comment Trust us, says Google, we understand privacy

Fears Windows code-signing changes will screw up QA process

Developers remain unconvinced by CASC's novel innovation

ServiceNow pals up with Palo Alto and ties up with Tanium

Security ops service adds more sources telling you when to panic, and how much

Webinars are not just about products but ways to make your customers happy

Promo Don't forget the human touch, says Citrix

Is it the beginning of the end for Visual Basic? Microsoft to focus on 'core scenarios'

Hello darkness my old friend