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Japanese fashion puts the oo-er into trousers

Chinos for the IT executive about town

Fingered: Pants-down 'poo jogger' alleged to be corp exec

Second recent case of shit-and-run incident

Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

Anti-SJW National Guard commander, cryptocurrency dev in deep trouble

Mailshot meltdown as Wessex Water gets sweary about a poor chap called Tom

Water horrible thing to say

Ex-US pres Bill Clinton has written a cyber-attack pulp thriller. With James Patterson. Really

It's about an impeached commander-in-chief... and infosec. Get your popcorn

You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

What a time to be alive

Un-bee-lievable: Two million Swedish bugs stolen in huge sting

Cops comb area to net wannabe keepers

Platinum partner had 'affair' with my wife – then Oracle screwed me, ex-sales boss claims

Regional director takes giant to court in discrimination row

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

None of them got a sausage roll, though

Game over: Atari cofounder Ted Dabney dies aged 81

Pong paddle goes dark

Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

'Alexa, pray for me'

Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

Crunchy charcoal fingers with raw meaty innards to be a thing of the past

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

30 years on, King of Pop's dance moves no longer flummox academic world

Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

So he isn't in South America or on far side of moon?

The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass

Stob Bug behaviour in the wild

Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Comment Pundits quick to erect straw man

Flamin' Nora! Brit firefighters tackle blazing fly-tipped boat

Boatnotes Councillor urges action against rubbish hotspot

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Something for the Weekend, Sir? You can learn a lot about a biz from its bogs

Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash

Keep your friends close and your enemas closer…

Airbus windscreen fell out at 32,000 feet

Bits of flight deck sucked out of Sichuan Airlines A319, which landed safely with two injuries

German IKEA trip fracas assembles over trolley right of way

Rumours of meatball-based escalation unfounded

You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Automated filth shows plan just grist to the privacy activists' mill

Chap charged with fraud after mail for UPS global HQ floods Chicago flat

Stop. Err, wait a minute, Mr Postman

Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Canadian cops put animal road trips on ice after owners 'forget' to mention their plan

Australian foreplay: Bum-biting in an underground hole

Wombats have all the fun

Yes, people see straight through male displays of bling (they're only after a fling)

The story of Frugal Dan, Flashy Dave and a $20,000 car budget

New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

You silly English k-niggits will probably flock to see Spamalot the musical movie

Mystery crapper comes a cropper

Too stool for school as log jogger gets case of the runs

The steaks have never been higher: Swiss Lidl is selling local cannabis

Cheech and Chong wouldn't bother, though

Texas residents start naming adopted drains

Waterway to have a good time

No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Pink hotpants cocktail, though? Oh, go on then

Avengers: Infinity War: More Marvel-ous moolah for comic film-erverse, probably

And comic book fandom fanned the flames

There's just one month left 'til the big day: May 25... but don't panic!

Are you a hoopy frood?

Danish submariner sent down for life for murder of journalist Kim Wall

Killer inventor lured scribe aboard crowdfunded vessel

Bungling cops try to use dead chap's fingers to unlock his smartmobe

Open casket or open phone?

Drama brews on high seas as Playmobil ship running out of steam

Vessel charts a course to pirate tax haven

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