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Want to raise cash for Action for Children’s Byte Night? The clock is ticking

Sign up and start raising wonga now

Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?

Sick of kid spit, flying stripy sexless scum drink your cider, pick fight

What do a meth, coke, molly, heroin stash and Vegas allegedly have in common? Broadcom cofounder Henry Nicolas

Hard-partying tech baron (no, not that one) cuffed

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Head of education letter littered with mistakes, blames 'IT printers' for bad spelling

Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

'Disoriented and dazed' pair had to be dragged back

Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

It's all thanks to that subversive dissident Winnie the Pooh

Summer nights? Cool down and help Action for Children

Signup for Byte Night and start raising cash now

I'll have two pints of Blockchain Brew and a half of Cloudy Bollocks

Competition 5 lucky readers - and their pals - are off to Great British Beer Festival

Oz retro computer collection in dire straits, bulldozers on horizon

Volunteers need help: car boots and spare space to save history going back to the 1950s

Ecuador's Prez talking to UK about Assange's six-year London Embassy stay – reports

Has never spoken to WikiLeaker, apparently

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Updated: Competition How to get in free – or for cheap – at the Great British Beer Festival

‘Elders of the Internet’ apologise for social media, recommend Trump filters to fix it

‘USENET was a pretty clear warning’ of things to come, says new draft IETF standard

Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

Analysis Not enough for a proper atomic weapon but the right stuff for a dirty bomb

It's 2018 so, of course, climate.news is sold to climate change deniers

Oh, and vaccines.news? Yep, anti-vaxxers. The same guys

Fix this faxing hell! NHS told to stop hanging onto archaic tech

We can’t have Matt Hancock calling a hospital and hearing: baa-ruhr-reee-uh-reeee-uh-reee

Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

Hey love, just click on this link... what do you mean, you're seeing loads of creepy articles?

Fresh cup of WTF with lunch? TeamViewer's big in Twitter's domination-as-a-service scene

Sysadmins seeking help with remote control software find something quite different

And in current affairs: Rogue raccoon blacks out city power grid after shocking misstep

Bright spark trash panda wanders into substation – watt happened next is electrifying

Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Amazon CEO is pruning my roses

Beat the heat – sleep on the streets for Byte Night 2018

Chillout by raising some cold hard cash for vulnerable youngsters

Boeing embraces Embraer to take off in regional jet market

100-seaters are now a duopoly, too, so please don’t mention the trade war

What a flap: SIM swiped from slain stork's GPS tracker used to rack up $2,700 phone bill

Bio-boffins' feathers ruffled after miscreants flip 'em the bird, costing charity a lotta złoty

Bankrupt Aussie Hells Angel scoops £750k lottery jackpot

From a remand prison cell, no less

RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

Nation mourns stop motion classics hero

Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

Scumbag combusts his own leg with instant karma creepshot fail

Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Standing on a dusty highway, waving my nozzle in the breeze

Science fiction legend Harlan Ellison ends his short time on Earth

Obit Angry, irascible, but oh so talented New Wave author

Jimmy Hill feted in Shoreditch

Muralwatch A collaborator worthy of London's finest entrepreneurs. Wait, what?

Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Crazy Kiwi comes a cropper

UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

The times, they are a-hinting that Jules might walk soon

Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

Brit booze barons worry they will have to go carbon dry-oxide

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

No claps for you: Marketing director slams condom ad

El Reg works with Byte Night to put techies out on the streets

Join tech luminaries and Jenny Agutter for a night on the tiles

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Study of Americans shows light drinking is still better than none

MSDN unleashes a fresh round of unintentional innuendo bingo

It's Carry On Coding as Microsofties fiddle with knobs

Swiss cops will 'tolerate' World Cup rabble-rousers – for 60 minutes

The land of the cuckoo clock* brings you more endearingly cuckoo rules

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

The dilithium crystals cannae take it, Captain

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Fish Are Friends! exclaim animal huggers on World Ocean Day

ICO smites Bible Society, well fines it £100k...

Vengeance for poor security sins in face of cyber attack

In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Selling England by the pound

British egg producers saddened by Google salad emoji update

Won't someone think of the chickens?

Japanese fashion puts the oo-er into trousers

Chinos for the IT executive about town

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