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Bootnotes

IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

That's rich, coming from an audio-branded-call-handling biz

Vegemite tries to hijack Qantas name-our-planes competition

He just smiled and gave me... er, a copy of the Ts and Cs

After stiffing us with Trump, Weiner 'fesses to underage cock shot rot

'I have a sickness,' former politician notices while facing two years in chokey

Man sues date for cinema texting fiasco, demands $17.31

'Defendant’s behaviour is a threat to civilised society', claims Texan

White House sicko sent down for 20 years after sexting underage girls

No, not who you're thinking of. Sad!

Leeds cops issue appeal for man-sized todger

Pricking your memory, anyone?

Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

The 17:21 to Happy Town is going in and out and is aaah-aah-bout to finish its journey

MP3 'died' and nobody noticed: Key patents expire on golden oldie tech

And Fraunhofer won't renew 'em

Blighty bloke: PC World lost my Mac Mini – and trolled my blog!

Retailer accused of acting like a real bunch of Dixons

Giant spawn hammer on Antarctica map. Thanks, Google Waze

Updated Crowdsourcing is the future of (pubic) navigation

Have a go with this WW2 German Lorenz cipher machine – in your browser

Fancy a crack at being Germany's secret signalman?

US Coast Guard: We're rather chuffed with our new Boeing spy drone

Meanwhile Britain is binning it. Well done, admirals

Huge flying arse makes successful test flight

Nine months after its buttocks ignominiously met terra firma

Fancy a relaxed boozy holiday? Keep well away from Great Britain

Nanny State Index reveals just how hectored we are by modern-day Puritans

$6,000 for tours of apocalyptic post-Brexit London? WTF, NYT?

Bless the Cousins, they're trying really hard with this one

Fake ruse: USA Today calls the FBI after half of its 15m Facebook Likes turn out to be bogus

No one real likes us, whines hotel doorstop provider

Italian F-35 facility rolls out its first STOVL stealth fighter

Same place that Blighty's dented jets will get their T-Cut

We are 'heroes,' says police chief whose force frisked a photographer

Brit plod used Terrorism Act to collar snapper. Hello, 2005

Spend your paper £5 notes NOW: No longer legal tender after today

Get yourself a fistful of plastic fantastics instead

What augmented reality was created for: An ugly drink with a balloon

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Or you could roll over and go back to sleep

Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

Ilford fire tender attends an East Ender with trapped bellend...ugh...

Master of Dredd: Judge inker John Higgins speaks to The Reg

Meet the artist who helped shape Watchmen, Batman and, yes, the drokkin' LAW himself

Chip design chap arrested for using photocopier

If you're going to steal secret silicon designs, it's a bit of a giveaway to hang around the office making copies

Can you spout digital bollocks? London is hiring a Chief Digital Officer

Interest-free bicycle bundled with £100k+ salary

Speaking in Tech: Gather round children for some Fyre festival horror tales

Podcast Plus: You call yourself an engineer?

Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

You’re not taking das Michael, German judges tell gigolo’s impregnated client

Heroic stepmum takes one for team, sticks pot pipe up wazoo

Puff, puff... pass

'I feel violated': Engineer who pointed out traffic signals flaw fined for 'unlicensed engineering'

Interview Welcome to the crazy world of Oregon state law

Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

Offended? Go hassle Merriam-Webster, not us

China launches aircraft carrier the length of 2.1 brontosaurs

And it weighs the same as 5.7 million adult badgers

iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

'You shall not use the silhouette of any fruit' commands Cupertino idiot tax operation

Reg reader offered £999,998 train ticket from Cambridge to Horley

More like National Fail amirite?

Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

She's in there. Who's in there, sir? My PIIIIIIINT!

IT error at Great Western Railway charging £10k for 63-mile journey ticket

If you didn't want to travel from Taunton-to-Trowbridge before, you probably won't now either

Alaska dentist 'pulled out patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard'

When this thing gets up to 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious sh*t

(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

Something for the Weekend, Sir? There's a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts

Hard-pressed Juicero boss defends $400 IoT juicer after squeezing $120m from investors

Crushed CEO says critics are comparing apples with oranges

Computer games to become medal sport at Asian Games

Olympic Council of Asia will award gold medals for fragging in 2022, helped by Alibaba

Ex-West Ham winger charged twice over cybershenanigans

22-year-old to appear before magistrates at month's end

Silicon Valley tech CEO admits beating software engineer wife, offered just 13 days in the clink

Despite evidence and previous offense, Abhishek Gattani unlikely to face serious charges

Drupal sci-fi sex scandal deepens: Now devs spank Dries over Gor bloke's banishment

Updated Project lead slapped in open letter after BDSM exile

Nerd Klaxon: Barbican to host Science Fiction exhibition this summer

Interview Curator Patrick Gyger tells El Reg what you can expect

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