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Disney plotting 15 more years of Star Wars

First we'll get non-digital Leia and Han Solo: Young Adult with Chewie and Falcon back-story

Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

And yes, total abstinence isn't good for you

Grab 'em by the pussy! Trump's lawyers 'send cease-and-desist letters' to a KITTEN website


Decapitating Rockall: How a 1970s Navy expedition blasted the top off the Atlantic islet

Pics Operation Top Hat report surfaces from the archives

In the land of Google, Holocaust denial, death threats – all fine. LGBT? Oh, no, that's sensitive

Search king tweaks rules to human raters

Beijing deploys facial scanners to counter public toilet abuse

Penny pinching pensioners restricted to 60cm allocation

Bloke cuffed after 'You deserve a seizure' GIF tweet gave epileptic a fit

Newsweek writer attacked on Twitter after telly appearance – now FBI, cops collar suspect

Google Maps' Street View can now lead you into a bubbling lava lake

Journey into live volcano is a feature, not a bug

Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Well, it was that or appendage amputation

Dungeons & Dragons finally going digital

Character sheets and bits of the rule books look like they're coming to the Web

Smart sex toys firm coughs up $3.75m in privacy lawsuit

Yup, it's the Internet of Dildos again

Cold callers illegally sold Aussie farmers 1,700 years worth of printer ink

Cattle farmers going through one cartridge evey ten months bullied into buying 2040 of 'em

Lawyer defending arson suspect flees court with pants on fire

His own, that is...

Repentant priest from Cuntis sorry he dressed as Hugh Hefner

Male bunnies simulating sex acts on him in carnival

The future of Not Reality is a strap-on that talks to my smarting ring

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow

BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

Wild boars in empty towns are nastily radioactive, but sadly remain normal size and lack atomic breath

America's Marine Corp steamy selfies scandal, a Senate probe – and El Reg to the rescue

Image archive torn offline after we raise alarm

Kaspersky launches a range of perfumes to, er, defend your odour

Eau de Humanity, amirite?

The good times are over, Peter Thiel tells Silicon Valley's oligarchs

Get ready for a fragmented net... and RAGNAROK

Iconic Land Rover Defender may make a comeback by 2019

Probably won't be built in Blighty, sadly

Success in the bedroom breeds success in the boardroom – research

Want that promotion? Better improve your performance in the sack

'Baby, I know your database needs upgrades tonight'

You may have thought romance was dead before this ... erm ... remarkable MongoDB cover of Sia's 'Cheap Thrills' came along

RAF pilot sacked for sending Airbus Voyager into sudden dive

Also handed four months' chokey, suspended for 12

Has your spouse stayed on after Mobile World Congress? This sex doll brothel might be why

€80 a go. The anti-bacterial soap is free

Google, what the hell? Search giant wrongly said shop closed down, refused to list the truth

Poultry peddler pleads Page's peeps: Precision, please

Silicon Valley tech bro's solution for homeless: Getting himself in the news. Again.

Dog houses to cruise ships, Gopman is running a little rich

This ferry is said to weigh 250 cows. We say that is actually 20,600 Lindisfarne Gospels

Nice try, Isle of Wight council

Boeing seeks patent for mobile device case with built-in fire extinguisher

Invented before the Galaxy Note 7 went down in flames, the case detects heat and then sprays fire-suppressing gas

Alert! The dastardly Dutch are sailing a 90-ship fleet at Blighty

We'll have no repeat of 1667, ye lubberly scallywags!

Visit More like International BANTS Machines, amirite?

Top bants, guys. Archbishop of Banterbury-tier stuff

I want it hot and wet – preferably with Wi-Fi

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Put the bamboo down and step back

Swedish politician wants weekly hour of paid sex. For exercise

Workers told to get on the job while on the job, to boost local population

Get this: Tech industry thinks journos are too mean. TOO MEAN?!

Think tank is upset not every hack is spewing marketing spiel (it's just most of them)

A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It wants to see me stripped

FAKE BREWS: America rocked by 'craft beer' scandal allegations

Retail mega-giant accused in lawsuit of being lying IPA-holes

Nul points for Ukraine's Eurovision ticket site fail

Glitch left fans without seats

Kings College London bods recruit members for penis ring study

'One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness... oh sh*t, it's come off'

Get orf the air over moi land Irish farmer roars at drones

Pledges to eradicate drone burglary threat by 'any means necessary'

All of Blighty's attack submarines are out of action – report

No boats capable of chasing off naughty Russians, we're told

You want WHO?! Reg readers vote Tom Baker for Doctor 13. Of course

The commentards have spoken. BBC, take heed

Welcome to my world of The Unexplained – yes, you're welcome to it

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Pleading guilty to assault on battery

Prepare your popcorn: Wikipedia deems the Daily Mail unreliable

Stage set for Jimbo Wales vs Paul Dacre. Who will win?

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