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Bootnotes

A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It wants to see me stripped

FAKE BREWS: America rocked by 'craft beer' scandal allegations

Retail mega-giant accused in lawsuit of being lying IPA-holes

Nul points for Ukraine's Eurovision ticket site fail

Glitch left fans without seats

Kings College London bods recruit members for penis ring study

'One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness... oh sh*t, it's come off'

Get orf the air over moi land Irish farmer roars at drones

Pledges to eradicate drone burglary threat by 'any means necessary'

All of Blighty's attack submarines are out of action – report

No boats capable of chasing off naughty Russians, we're told

You want WHO?! Reg readers vote Tom Baker for Doctor 13. Of course

The commentards have spoken. BBC, take heed

Welcome to my world of The Unexplained – yes, you're welcome to it

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Pleading guilty to assault on battery

Prepare your popcorn: Wikipedia deems the Daily Mail unreliable

Stage set for Jimbo Wales vs Paul Dacre. Who will win?

The best of Reg readers' David Hockney-style logo redesigns

Pics We called; your digital crayons answered

Last Concorde completes last journey, at maybe Mach 0.02

VID Concorde 216 rolls into its very own hangar at Aerospace Bristol museum

RAF pilot sent jet into 4,000ft plummet by playing with camera, court martial hears

Offending DSLR became 'wedged behind control stick'

Canadian telco bans a little four-letter dirty word from texts: U B E R

Super Canucks go ballistic: Uber filter's bogus (and writing these headlines is a sign of psychosis)

Parents have no idea when kidz txt m8s 'KMS' or '99'

But unlike David Cameron, they know what LOL means

A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!

Our 1,600 KiloJubs beat your 23 Kelpies

Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Poll Decisions, decisions. Lucky number 13?

Would you like to know why I get a lot of action at night?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'm an 'early riser', if you know what I mean

David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Logowatch Over to you, dear readers. Start your MS Paint engines!

'Completely offended' Sheila calls cops over price-gouging ganja dealer

Oz police go watchdog over profiteering pot-pushers

New measurement alerts! Badgers, great white sharks and the Lindisfarne Gospel

Reg Standards Bureau Las Vegas hotel changes world

Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

He who controls the film rights controls the universe

Ohio bloke accused of torching own home after his pacemaker rats him out to cops

Snitches get stitches

Well-rested women in danger of bouncing their men into early grave

Better sleep means better bedroom action for women over 50

Parliamentary Trump-off? Pro-Donald petition passes 100k signatures

Furious clicktivists wear out keyboards in online virtue-signalling battle

Corn-based diet turns French hamsters into baby eating cannibals

Hammy eating pups alive

God save the Queen... from Donald Trump. So say 1 million Britons

Parliament receives petition to prevent President's state visit

'Maker' couple asphyxiated, probably by laser cutter fumes

Don't try this at home. And if you do, please RTFM about ventilation

Police pull up van man engaged in dual carriageway sex act

Not the first time we've come across this, say cops

Did you know? The FBI investigated Gamergate. Now you can read the agents' thrilling dossier

Yes, we're being sarcastic. We're always sarcastic

Counter-terror cops arrest pair for sending poo-smeared toilet paper to public figures

Still better than most of the press releases we receive

Devonians try to drive Dartmoor whisky plan onto rocks

Distillery needs a pagoda like a whole in the roof

'I AM TWEETING TRUTH TO POWER: AND YOU CAN'T STOP MY FACTS, MR PRESIDENT!'

¡Bong! Factivism vs Trump

Huzzah! Doctor Who comes to Playmoverse

Six inches of Tom Baker and Matt Smith for 'collectors'

2017 is already fail: Let’s try a Chinese reboot

Something for the Weekend, Sir? That’s the way the cookie crumbles

Doomsday Clock moves to 150 seconds before midnight. Thanks, Trump

Closest setting to doom since the heady days of 1953

Chinese bloke cycles 500km to get home... in the wrong direction

Pipe down, London commuters on Southern Rail

I'LL BE BATT: Arnie Schwarzenegger snubs gas guzzlers for electric

Meanwhile, Faraday's Future looks like the debtor's prison

Irish townsfolk besieged by confused smut channel callers

Gov spokesperson promises Mr Ring he’ll get to the bottom of it

Batman v Superman leads Razzie nominations

Flip side of the La La Land love-in

Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

Putting the US of A first could require arms from Europe

Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Asteroid 391257 is now Asteroid Wil Wheaton

Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed

Stob Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?