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Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

Who cares? Let's whip out the BFG and blow up the boss

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

Sweet Jesus! It includes Brussels sprouts

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

Can't really blame him for turning down the 'probably won't be executed' pact

You're legit and you know you are... Thanks to chanting racist footie fans, linking to dodgy stuff isn't necessarily illegal (well, in Europe)

Court of Human Rights weighs in on libel hyperlink brouhaha

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

For one week only, Ohio students can sate crackling craving for a mere $1

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

How much for scrawl from the hand of Jobs? A nice mid-range Audi

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

'We won't go too close with the chainsaws and whatnot'

Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

D!ck the halls with 'offensive' symbols, fa-lala-lala-la-la-la-la

Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

Ashamed owner now trying to replace their soiled cases

Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

Does 'mommy' clean up after you? teases trash-talking notice

Canuck couple returns home after night on tiles to gaggle of randomers hanging out in their flat

Short-term renters? More like short-term raiders

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

Roadside test on sugar treat said it was crank. It wasn't

Boeing 737 pilots battled confused safety system that plunged aircraft to their deaths – black box

Data suggests one of plane's many brains was stuck in anti-stall mode

Doctors join wombats in sh!tting bricks to help parents relax about kids chowing down on Lego

Oh man, give them a medal for the FART and SHAT scores

Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

Yep, back to the past again for unimaginative sheeple

Tech bosses talk kids' books! Could they show a glimmer of humanity? You only get one guess

Comment Damn, that mask is stuck fast

Bordeaux-no! Wine guzzling at events rises 20%

Don't put the Champagne on ice: English sparkling wine fizzes as French bubbles go flat

Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane

Hey, Bezos wanted to create the everything store...

Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how

All you need to do this at home is a party balloon and roadkill

Finally a platform for train puns: IBM Halt station derailed

Halt – who goes there? No one, from now on

Alphabet gives bipedal robots the Schaft 'cos no one wants to buy its creepy machine maker

Even Softbank balked at these tethered terrors

Court doc typo 'reveals' Julian Assange may have been charged in US

Routine file about accused crim suddenly mentions WikiLeaker's name

Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac

23-year-old fined $4,000, volunteers services for Perth Zoo, zoo says thanks but nah

Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

Never uses computers because his peons do everything for him

That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you

Stob It's sing-along-a-Stob time

Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90

2001: A Space Odyssey's villain raised bar for killer robot trope

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

'Size isn't everything, it's how you decorate it'

Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets

Microsoft man opens three-day newfangled shithouse expo

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Is Emmental? Probably a bit

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal man sits on Steve Bannon design tech shindig committee

RCL chief David Levy is member of ACE2018 committee

Imperial bringing in budget holograms to teach students

Suffice to say, it's not quite Tupac or Freddie Mercury

'He must be stopped': Missouri candidate's children tell voters he's basically an asshat

Kids can be so cruel when you're a racist homophobe

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette

North Carolina, but it could happen aaannnyyywherrre

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

Local authority furiously smacking Ctrl+Alt+Delete

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

Ghouls just wanna have fun

Manchester man fined £1,440 after neighbours couldn't open windows for stench of dog toffee

Little by Little, he, er, Lost Control of his garden

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch

Talk about scorched earth policies

Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

World's worst housemate is so misunderstood

Yer a solicitor, 'arry! Indian uni takes cues from 'Potterverse' to teach students law

Siriusly, though Granger things have happened

Uncool: Google won't be setting up shop in disused Berlin electrical substation

Insists it wasn't chased off following protest and occupation by locals

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

Flame of the Week English-mangle-word-zels – fresh from Reg whippersnapper's garden

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

Oh, and many of the stereotypes of Gen Z are wrong

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