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1st > April > 2016 Archive

Brazilian and Russian cybercrooks collaborating to create more potent threats

Borrowed technologies, code obfuscation, and a lot more in their bag of tricks

Astronomers find first neutron star in Andromeda galaxy

Lighthouse in space spotted in years of records

Flaw found in Lhasa makes for compression confession depression

Don't be a .LZA-boy – patch and consider where you decompress

India orders 770 million LED light bulbs, prices drop 83 per cent

Subsidised bulbs sold for US$1.28, cuts peak load by 2,346 MW

Dell joins Java jumpers with updated server admin tool


Hacker reveals $40 attack that steals police drones from 2km away

Black Hat AsiaNo encryption in pro-grade drones: just sniff Wi-Fi and copy signals

The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

The power of 'routed thought' will packetise and harmonise your personal neural network

Elon Musk takes wraps off planet-saving Model 3 vapourmobile

It's fast! It's shiny! It's smart! And it's not going on sale until late 2017

You can't dust-proof a PC with kitchen-grade plastic food wrap

ON-CALLThere's a reason the lowest quote for a job isn't always the best quote for a job

When Steve Jobs was away, Apple's designers snuck out a penis-shaped remote control

Apple at 40The PowerCD's remote did not need a domed, bulbous tip

Holding out for a Jobs: Tim Cook still auditioning for position of Apple god

Apple at 40The future is Watch, the future is data, the future is taking on Uncle Sam

Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Sit in front of this and rotate

Done making the big stuff better? The path to Apple's mid-life crisis

Apple at 40IoT, VR, AI... cars? Let the other guy take the hit first

Blighty starts pumping out 12-sided quids

New retro-styled nugget coming soon to a pocket near you

Micron turns $900m profits into a $97m loss. Only took 12 months

Fifth straight quarterly revenue decline reverses 11 profitable quarters' trend

Google tried to be funny, cocked it up, everyone thought it was a bug

April Fool! Gmail joke feature pulled after causing mass FUD

Sphere 3D keeps business ship afloat atop sea of red ink

+CommentLet's have a look at those buoyancy aids

Continuous Lifecycle: The final countdown

No foolin', we're running low on tickets

Canadian rotter abducts giant Playmobil fireman

Ottawa toy store seeks return of popular plastic mascot

IBM snaps up small Bluewolf for reported $200m

CRM-as-service-acquisition strategy plays out

Is Microsoft's chatty bot platform just Clippy Mark 2?

AnalysisHello, it looks like you're trying to develop a Strategic Vision. Do you need some help with that?

Microsoft's DocumentDB lets its MongoDB freak flag fly

Get your NoSQL ting on, rascals

Huawei on bumper results: We owe growth to ginormous ICT market

Worldwide roll-out of 4G didn't hurt, either

Jenkins 'fesses up after inadvertently slurping users' usage stats

Would Sir prefer the brogues or the Oxfords for giving me a kick in the...

Call the Cable Guy: Wireless just won't cut it

Corporate types need to rethink

Bring on the goats! Apple's cloud failure demands further sacrifice

Apple at 40Devices are Apple's thing. Distributed systems are Google's

NetApp ain't all that: Flashy figures show HPE left 'em for dust

A truer picture emerges thanks to Gartner numbers

BlackBerry's still losing millions – but hit its revenue target, finally

Android isn't exactly pulling up any trees, though

PayPal plugs phishing-enabling vulnerability, stumps up $500

To the bug-splatter who found it. Not to you, don't get excited

Microsoft announces Azure Functions, encrypted cloud storage

BUILD 2016Incremental improvements more than big headlines, but Azure stays on track

SEC chair blasts Silicon Valley for its hokey valuations

That unicorn look suspiciously like a horse with a rubber horn, says Mary Jo White

Frontier rings in Verizon takeover by borking its network

Handover doesn't appear to be going particularly well in three US states

Space archeologist discovers new evidence of Vikings invading America

Second settlement spotted by satellite

Apple Fools: Times the House of Jobs went horribly awry

Apple at 40Plenty of bumps in the 40-year road for Mac makers

Tay talks back: What made you think you beat me?

April FoolHow Microsoft taught fools to train their future enemy

Microsoft smells Musk, splashes on 'Mune' space program

Data centres under water? Try the icy cold of spaaaace...

China enacts 'real name policy' for internet addresses

It's like Facebook's only, you know, could land you in jail

Egypt unfriended Facebook for Free Basics snoop snub

Zuck told to Giza the heck out of here

Microsoft lures top Linux exec from Oracle to Redmond

Wim Coekaerts' hire another sign of open source push

US government updates secure email guide for first time in a decade

NIST provides 81 pages of practical advice

How do you build a cheap iPhone? Use a lot of old parts

Teardown finds SE borrows plenty from its ancestors

Tesla books over $8bn in overnight sales claims Elon Musk

But expect long waiting lists

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