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Apple Watch Series 3

Mobe reception grief turns LTE Apple Watch 3 into – er, a dull watch

Plus: You can't switch off Wi-Fi and Bluetooth on iOS 11

Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

Alternative title for this science paper: Seven-inch bullies humiliate unsuspecting birds

Bill Gates

Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

Gives two-fingered salute to IBM designers for forcing us to use three-fingered salute

Homer Simpson

CCleaner targeted top tech companies in attempt to lift IP

Infected Avast tool's payload went after the likes of Microsoft, Intel and Cisco, hit 20 targets

FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

File-scrambling malware put a bomb under shipping giant's sales growth

Google's Big Hardware Bet: Is this what a sane company would do?

Analysis You're an algorithms company, Larry!

Something good about Brexit? Errr, more teeth for Ofcom! – report

But elsewhere FEAR and UNCERTAINTY reigns. Ahhh!

Baidu-backed fund has a BEEELLION quid for 100 self-driving projects

China's Google also updated its open-source autonomous vehicle software

How's that 'turnaround' year going, Capita? Sheesh, sorry I asked

Things still gloomy after profit warning and restructure

Falling apart at the seamless: Inside Apple's LTE Watch fiasco

Analysis Kludge takes shine off ever-improving Watch

Register Lectures tackle war and power... in the digital world at least

Lectures Mists? Mellowness? Not at these talks...

Puppet plays puppet master, gobbles up automation firm Distelli

Twisting minds, smashing dreams

UK data watchdog swots automated marketing call pest with £260k fine

Easyleads applies to be struck off after investigation

You lost your ballpoint pen, Slack? Why's your Linux version unsigned?

No digital signature on hipster collab app means it's easy to make dangerous fakes

Chief digital officer and sales director leave O2 amid ongoing shake-up

Roles yet to be filled

GNOME Foundation backs 'freedom-oriented' smartphone

Librem 5 will run only open-source code, PureOS and feature radio kill switch

From the Dept of the Bleedin' Obvious... yes, drones hurt when they hit you in the head

Research suggests maybe the heavy ones should spend less time over people

BlackBerry's QNX to run autonomous car software

Parts-maker Delphi wants BlackBerry-mobiles on the road in 2019

Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

Gives two-fingered salute to IBM designers for forcing us to use three-fingered salute

Toshiba sells memory biz for $18bn, becomes the Bain of Western Digital's existence

Japanese company sells memory biz to private equity and WD flings sueballs to stop it

Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

Alternative title for this science paper: Seven-inch bullies humiliate unsuspecting birds

CCleaner targeted top tech companies in attempt to lift IP

Infected Avast tool's payload went after the likes of Microsoft, Intel and Cisco, hit 20 targets

Google hires HTC's Pixel people to make one big happy handset team

HTC insists ad giant didn't scoop all its clever people and it can still make nice things

Top video game dev nerve-center Unity can now be used to train AI

Hot graphics and complex worlds provide a good testbed for algorithms

GitLab freezes GraphQL project amid looming Facebook patent fears

Promising query language garbled by legal lingo

Orland-whoa! Chap cops to masterminding $100m Microsoft piracy racket

Chinese national pleads guilty to running a massive counterfeiting ring

You've been baffled by its smart thermostat. Now strap in for Nest's IoT doorbell, alarm gear

First fondle Our vulture gets his claws into new hardware

Mobe reception grief turns LTE Apple Watch 3 into – er, a dull watch

Plus: You can't switch off Wi-Fi and Bluetooth on iOS 11

FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

File-scrambling malware put a bomb under shipping giant's sales growth

Say Hello to my little friend: Nest blasts IoT world with doorbell, home security gear

Hope it doesn't freeze out folks like its thermostat

IT fraudster facing four years' bird time for $10k blackmail

Blackmailed former employer, redirected company website for porn portal

Amazon wants to be king of the nerd goggles

Glasshole Bezos sees no shame

Behold iOS 11, an entirely new computer platform from Apple

Review It's a massive and ambitious upgrade for iPads, but older hardware can't cut it

Ethereum just checked that part of a Zcash transaction was legit

Someone sent somebody else some money – that's all we know, and that's a good thing

UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to 'auto-takedown' terror pages within 2 HOURS

And you thought 24 hours would be tough…

More are paying to stream music, but YouTube still holds the value gap

Demand's there; compensating artists is another issue

EU watchdog: Govt bods are seeking 'legal knockouts' to dodge transparency

Increasingly 'legalistic' approach goes against intentions for openness, says ombudsman

Manchester plod still running 1,500 Windows XP machines

Issue 'endemic' across public sector, shriek experts

Lloyds Bank payments glitch frustrates merchants

C'mon, you POS... >:(

Google Cloud's API knows the sort of thing you like to look at

And now has creepy 'entity' sentiment analysis too

More data lost or stolen in first half of 2017 than the whole of last year

That's 1.9 BEEELLION records – and just you wait till GDPR

Toshiba said yes to the Bain-Capital-backed bunch – reports

The question is... will Western Dig give the OK?

Compsci degrees aren't returning on investment for coders – research

Spend £50k to get just £3k per year more than non-grads

UK PC prices have risen 30% in a year since the EU referendum

Vendors Brexploited GBP fall, but components dearth played part too

Equifax's disastrous Struts patching blunder: THOUSANDS of other orgs did it too

Those are just the ones known to have downloaded outdated versions

Dell EMC refreshes its entry-level arrays

Behold the new SCv3000 arrays, with auto-tiering, all-flash, twin controllers, 1PB raw capacity all in 3U for <$10k

AI slurps, learns millions of passwords to work out which ones you may use next

Get creative – bringbackfirefly! will no longer cut it, nerds

Hitachi Data Systems is no more! Arise the new 'Hitachi Vantara'

HDS, Pentaho and Hitachi Insight Group join forces, promise data-driven IoT fun

Behold, says robo-mall-cop maker: Our crime-busting dune buggy packed with spy gear

Pics Surveillance bots are just 'a very weird data center'

Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

And then filtering out all the stuff he doesn't need to read

Boffins discover tightest black hole binary system – and it's supermassive

Sitting less than one light year apart in spiral galaxy NGC 7674

Oracle promises SLAs that halve Amazon's cloud costs

Larry Ellison also pledges 'Autonomous Database' to cut the cost of – gulp – the people who run databases

macOS High Sierra more like 'Cry Sierra' for Mac-wielding beta testers

Early issues arise with new version of OS X 10.13

Inept bloke who tried to sell military sat secrets to Russia gets 5 years

Bumbling fool not so much Jason Bourne as Johnny English

Congress battles Silicon Valley over upcoming US sex trafficking law

Crunch hearing reveals wide gulf in views, evildoer is Backpage

Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Updated Advertising firm sued by taxi app maker

Viacom exposes crown jewels to world+dog in AWS S3 bucket blunder

Updated Passwords, server schematics and encryption keys up for grabs in open file store

Itching to stuff iOS 11 on your iPhone? You may want to hold off for a bit

Apps are gonna break. Plus of course, Apple always screws up the first iteration

Sprint, T-Mobile US reignite mega-merger talks (again)

You want more competition, America? Here's another all-powerful telco monolith

Ofcom to crack down on telcos' handling of nuisance callers

Also wants to extend consumer protection to cover more broadband services

DXC squeezes suppliers for extra margin, issues ultimatum

That is IT, stationery, toilet rolls, etc 'give us discounts' says outsourcing biz

Stack Overflow + Salary Calculator = your worth

In case you were wondering what Git, SQL and JS skills will get you, new online tool measures your value

Now EE's challenging UK regulator's mobile spectrum proposals

Joins Three in telling Ofcom: See you in court

Google parks old pay-to-play auction in front of European Commission – reports

You want a remedy? Here's our remedy

Ethereum will have transaction chops of Visa in 'a couple of years', founder claims

Starcraft on the blockchain? What a time to be alive

BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

Norgrove was right: post-Brexit gross £350m a week? Nope

Black screen of death after Win10 update? Microsoft blames HP

OEM factory images create 'incorrect registry keys'

What's that, Equifax? Most people expect to be notified of a breach within hours?

Go on, you're the breach expert

Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

Stob Lest we forget

Why being 'boring' is a university AI spinout's route to success

DeepMind doesn't stoop, you still conquer

European Commission proposes more powers for EU's infosec agency

Cross-border cybersecurity certification scheme planned

Samsung's Galaxy Note 8 is hot, but not much more than the S8+

First fondle It's stylish, but the stylus doesn't add a lot

Google, Bing, Yahoo! data hoarding is like homeopathy. It doesn't work – new study claims

Boffins find search quality unaffected

IBM packs 120TB into a carry-on bag, for snow-balling cloud uploads

Whither the rapid file transfer app Aspera that Big Blue acquired in 2014?

Pirate Bay digs itself a new hole: Mining alt-coin in slurper browsers

Would you trade your CPU time and electricity bill for pirated content?

Google India launches payment service that sends money as sound

'Tez' targets India, where cash is now a dirty word, will soon hit other emerging economies

Oracle softly increments SPARC M7 to M8, then whispers: We'll still love you, Solaris, to 2034

And possibly beyond

What do you call an all-in-one PC that isn't? 'Upgradeable', says HP

Screens-on-a-stalk and replaceable HDD and RAM may not a revolution make

AWS can now bill us if you read this far. This bit will cost us, too

Servers-by-the-second is now a thing, but you pay for the whole first minute!

Sexploitation gang thrown in clink for 171 years after 'hunting' kids online and luring them in front of webcams

Youngsters tricked into performing sex acts for pervs

Someone checked and, yup, you can still hijack Gmail, Bitcoin wallets etc via dirty SS7 tricks

Two-factor authentication by SMS? More like SOS

NASA Earthonauts emerge from eight-month isolation in simulated Mars visit

Video 'Hang on, Trump has done what??!?'

Bloke fesses up: I forged judge's signature to strip stuff from Google search

Jewelry exec faces up to five years in the clink for SEO backfire

Microsoft's AI is so good it steered Renault into bottom of the F1 league

Does someone need to take the handbrake off this thing?

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