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Leigh-Anne Galloway  B Sides manchester talk on ATM. screen grab from video

What weighs 800kg and runs Windows XP? How to buy an ATM for fun and profit

BSides Security researchers pick up angle grinder, drop £2k-plus in B-sides chat

Microsoft president exits US govt's digital advisory board as tech leaders quit over Trump

Updated Plus: Steve Bannon fired from White House

No, the cops can't get a search warrant to just seize all devices in sight – US appeals court

Judges frown upon fishing for incriminating data on phones

So, Nokia. What makes you think the world wants your phones?

Interview HMD chiefs explain their cunning comeback plan

Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

And what finer company than Uber to make that clear

US DoD, Brit ISP BT reverse proxies can be abused to frisk internal systems – researcher

BSides And how to avoid making the same mistakes

No, the cops can't get a search warrant to just seize all devices in sight – US appeals court

Judges frown upon fishing for incriminating data on phones

Wisconsin advances $3bn bribe incentives package for Foxconn

And only $230,000 a head out of the public purse!

Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

And what finer company than Uber to make that clear

Berkeley boffins build better spear-phishing black-box bruiser

Machine learning and code to detect and alert attempts to extract passwords from staff

FTC wants AT&T to kick in $4bn to help balance US budget. Why? Some dodgy ads or something

Telco's TV biz accused of false advertising by trade watchdog

Microsoft president exits US govt's digital advisory board as tech leaders quit over Trump

Updated Plus: Steve Bannon fired from White House

Oracle caves, promises to crack open Java EE as v8 crawls ever closer

Big Red seeks open-source foundation to host platform

NetApp swallows Icelandic cloud management software biz

Greenqloud’s QStack becomes gets NetApp-ed

So long and thanks for all the phish: Red teams need to be smarter now

BSides Pen-testers face new challenges as defences evolve

Q: How many drones are we bombing ISIS with? A: That's secret, mmkay

But the MoD will happily tell you how many manned jets we're using to do that exact thing

Atari shoots sueball at KitKat maker over use of 'Breakout' in ad

Gaming star strikes

Last FalconStor CEO survived just six weeks before being replaced

+Comment New CFO too as data protection firm refuses to give in

What weighs 800kg and runs Windows XP? How to buy an ATM for fun and profit

BSides Security researchers pick up angle grinder, drop £2k-plus in B-sides chat

So, Nokia. What makes you think the world wants your phones?

Interview HMD chiefs explain their cunning comeback plan

Drive-thru drive-by at McDs after ice cream no-show, say cops

Man pulls out replica rifle after frosty treat disappointment

Why does the market care so much about Cisco's security biz?

Analysis In the land of decline, sustainable growth is king

British Airways waves Bing dong: At least it's not a tech cockup

Wang wag's Croatian beach art highlighted... again

UK.gov is hiring IT bods with skills in ... Windows Vista?!

And Server 2003. Yep, this is the year 2017 and we're not making this up

Software definer wants you to befriend the 'BFC', do a bit of 'reverse virtualization'

Analysis What's that, TidalScale? The Big Friendly what?

Infosys CEO quits, citing 'untenable atmosphere' created by critics

Former SAP man Vishal Sikka bails but will be interim CEO's boss

Linux-loving lecturer 'lost' email, was actually confused by Outlook

On-Call And had suits savage an utterly innocent sysadmin for his own ignorance

Who wants multiple virtual workstations on a GPU in a blade server?

NVIDIA reckons engineering types do, so it's cut a new GPU and software to carve it up

Lenovo expects data centre profits in two years, if it can fix China

For now the company is just happy with growth for the first time since buying IBM's servers

Where there's smoke there's a Galaxy Note: Refurbished Model 4 batteries recalled

Phablets sent to AT&T customers with batteries from FedEx are at risk

New NIST draft embeds privacy into US govt security for the first time

Federal agency addresses the new world of Alexa, smart cameras and IoT

Australian money cops gain powers to regulate cryptocurrency

Money laundering and terror finance laws will stretch to cover digi-dollars

US cops point at cell towers and say: Give us every phone number that's touched that mast

Verizon says basestation dumps increasingly popular

What code is running on Apple's Secure Enclave security chip? Now we have a decryption key...

Ladies and gentlemen, start your ARM disassemblers

Tomorrow, DreamHost will square up to US DoJ to avoid handing over 1.3m IP addresses of anti-Trump site visitors

Data demand 'breaks First and Fourth Amendments'

Don't panic, Chicago, but an AWS S3 config blunder exposed 1.8 million voter records

Personal info spills from another poorly secured Amazon service

FYI: Web ad fraud looks really bad. Like, really, really bad. Bigly bad

Except at quality titles like El Reg, of course, cough

Judge yanks plug out of AT&T's latest attack on Google Fiber

Judge throws out lawsuit seeking to prevent rollout of broadband cables

I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours

SFW Johnson, get a load of this

London cops urged to scrap use of 'biased' facial recognition at Notting Hill Carnival

Year-on-year deployment isn’t really a trial, say privacy groups

Virtual assistant backlash imminent so buy them anyway

Say what now, Gartner?

Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

Gyroscopic trams, bunkerbeds! Enter the 'dope' world of Dahir Semenov

Making money is so DRAM easy for some memory-flingers

Another record revenue quarter ... even as drought eases

London council 'failed to test' parking ticket app, exposed personal info

Authority fined £70k after missing URL manipulation

Apple bag-search class action sueball moves to Cali supreme court

Anti-shrinkage policy could add millions to firm's wage bill

Celeb-backed music gambit rebrands as 'Roxi', prays for IPO

Electric Jukebox has a dildo and wants £100m

HPE sales chief Peter Ryan abandons ship amid downsizing ploy

CSO said to have quit to spend more time with family in UK

Singapore court awards $2.9m over bad job reference

Damages calculated on potential earnings

Nine months and a lot more b*llocks to go before new EU data protection rules kick in

Info commish hits back at fake GDPR news

NetApp, you went all-flash, never go all-fla... Hey, wait. It's working

Slight biz uptick, steady results should keep CEO smiling

Defra recruiting 1,400 policy wonks to pick up the pieces after Brexit

Exclusive Prising IT systems from decades of EU lawmaking

What'll we do tonight, Kieran? Same thing we do every night, Tintri....

... try to take over your public cloudy worlds (one array at a time)

Ads regulator raps PC repair biz for massaging malware infection rates

Stop running that or we'll say stop again, so help me god

Ten spacecraft – from Venus Express to Voyager 2 – all tracked same solar flare

We hardly noticed at first, but records revealed plenty about how star-stuff sails solar winds

Scrutiny? We've heard of it. Dot-UK supremo Nominet goes dark

Even limited board reports now scrapped in favor of worthless 'updates'

Smyte might brighten fraud plight: How machine-learning can be used to thwart crooks

Analysis Security works better when you write your own rules

UK govt steams ahead with £5m facial recog system amid furore over innocents' mugshots

Contract ignores lack of strategy, growing criticism

Cisco security sales disappoint, DRAM drought dents results

It's okay, though, we've got an iPhone app coming soon says CEO Chuck

Bank IT fella accused of masterminding multimillion-dollar insider-trading scam

Consultant was all too app-y to break law, claim investigators

Rowhammer RAM attack adapted to hit flash storage

Project Zero's two-year-old dog learns a new trick

Space boffins competing for $20m Moon robot X-Prize are told: Be there by March 31 – or bust

Teams get extra wiggle room to hit final deadline

New MH370 analysis again suggests plane came down outside search area

French satellite photos suggest something man-made floated beyond search zones

Intel's 8th-gen CPUs are called Ice Lake. And so are the 9th-gen

Chipzilla in overlapping naming weirdness mess

Read IBM CEO Ginni Rometty's letter to staff: Why I walked from Trump's strategy forum

Translation: Please don't take away our govt contracts

Cloudflare: We dumped Daily Stormer not because they're Nazis but because they said we love Nazis

Hey, hey, It's cool, Matt, 'they're Nazis' is reason enough

10 minutes of silence storms iTunes charts thanks to awful Apple UI

Blank audio a handy workaround to in-car annoyance

NotPetya ransomware attack cost us $300m – shipping giant Maersk

IT crippled so badly firm relied on WhatsApp

President Trump to his council of industry CEO buddies: You're fired!

Updated Don't worry, Donald – Dell-EMC-VMware-RSA still has your back

Comp sci world shock: Bonn boffin proposes P≠NP proof, preps for prestige, plump prize

Potential math challenge solution greeted with skepticism

Disgraced US Secret Service agent coughs to second Bitcoin heist

Fox, meet henhouse

Nokia's comeback is on: The flagship 8 emerges

Hands On Hopes rest on stock, OZO Audio

The future of Python: Concurrency devoured, Node.js next on menu

Analysis Programming language keeps getting fatter amid awkward version 3 split

Samsung's bantam SSD makes WD's 'passport' drive look passé

Is that 2TB in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

PayPal, accused of facilitating neo-Nazi rally, promises to deny hate groups service

Charlottesville events force biz to defend acceptable use policy

Ubuntu sends trash to its desktop's desktop

Canonical picks up after Apple – 17 years later

Vaping ads flout EU rules, even if to promote healthier lifestyles

Comment Watchdog admits it's a legal minefield

HBO Game Of Thrones leak: Four 'techies' arrested in India

GoT suspects cuffed

Toshiba must allow Western Digital access to joint-venture assets

Tear down the wall, Tosh, says Cali Court

Oh no, EE! More UK mobile customers face sluggish roaming abroad

How are we supposed to enjoy our holiday without streaming?

Pssst, wanna know a secret? MongoDB has confidentially filed for IPO, reports suggest

Oracle-chaser expected to go public later this this year

Web-enabled vibrator class action put to bed

The plaintiffs must be buzzing

She's arrived! HMS Queen Lizzie enters Portsmouth Naval Base

Pics 65,000 tonnes and 4.5 acres of British sovereign territory – but is she worth it?

Och. Scottish Parliament under siege from brute-force cyber attack

Unidentified hackers attempt to bust open email accounts

Speaking in Tech: Tomorrow's infosec fiasco is a 'we're not a company any more' fiasco

Podcast Wannacry is just the beginning

Loss-making storage survivor Sphere 3D looking at 'strategic alternatives'

We think it probably doesn't involve listening to Sonic Youth

Not another Linux desktop! Robots cross the Uncanny Valley

Machine Learning meets human response

Guess who's hiking their prices again? Come on, it's as easy as 123 Reg

Yeah, we used a variation of the headline before. And what?

Months after breach at the 'UnBank' Ffrees, customers complain: No one told us

Yet 'alternative' UK financial service has complied with law

Xen fixes guest privilege escape and plenty more

Crashes, data leaks and foul corruption also fixed

How are you feeling today? Don't tell us, save for it this handy emotion-detection code

Now computers can sense anger from more than furious button mashing

Lenovo thought PC salesfolk could sell servers and was wrong by about $500m

'Over-integration' saw x86 business fail to launch

How to build your own DIY makeshift levitation machine at home

All you need is a 3D printer, ultrasonic transducers, an Arduino, patience...

Batteries that don't burn at the drop of a Galaxy Note 7? We're listening

Zinc-air batteries are hard to charge: boffins think new catalysts can fix that

Love cloudy HPC? Microsoft does, slurps Cycle Computing

CPU-wrangler found fame on EC2, becomes Azure business

Strip club selfie bloke's accidental discharge gets him 6 years in clink

Club Lust bathroom shootup in, you guessed it, Florida

Red Hat banishes Btrfs from RHEL

ZFS On Linux adds the proper crypto Google wants before considering Btfrs for Android

When is a Barracuda not a Barracuda? When it's really AWS S3

Now you can replicate backups to Barracuda's actually-Amazonian cloud

Russian malware scum post new rent-an-exploit

Unpatched browser, plug-in bugs targeted by and with 'Disdain' kit

Azure Stack will need special sysadmins, says Microsoft

'Operator' to wrangle on-prem cloud, with paid course coming soon, natch

Creepy backdoor found in NetSarang server management software

Do you use this suite? If yes: A July 18 update screwed over your security

Intel's diversity numbers are out – and that 'push' has become more of a 'gentle nudge'

Plus: 10nm+ 9th-gen Core family codenamed Ice Lake

A glimpse of life under President Zuckerberg? Facebook CEO's boffins censor awkward Q&A

Human cell study AMA on Reddit all cleaned up

Revealed: The secret CEO texts that tell the tale of Uber-Waymo's self-driving tech spat

Analysis Court docs give insight into execs' relationship

Taken a while but finally here's the first proper smart-home gizmo

Comment And it's a light bulb from Ikea

Uber to bend over, take privacy probe every two years for next 20 years

FTC forces taxi app upstart to let in auditors after complaints of data security cockups

Slurping people's info without a warrant? That's OUR JOB, Google, Facebook et al tell US Supreme Court

Tech giants lobby against warrantless phone spying

Outage outed: Bing dinged, Microsoft portal mortal, DuckDuckGo becomes DuckDuckNo

Updated Like it or not, it's back to Google for now

Datrium claims its split-provisioning DVX array is 'tomorrow calling'

And it wants its super-scaling, newfangled tech back

RBS sharpens axe again: 900 IT jobs to go by 2020

Unite says Brit bank will soon be running a 'skeleton service'

Fresh Microsoft Office franken-exploit flops – and you should have patched by now anyway

Updated Exploit combo fails to dodge Word warning prompts

Atomic bonds: Gigabyte, Supermicro fire out boosted Atom CPU range

Denverton systems, servers and motherboards

The cheek of it! Beach bar owner shoots nude bather in the booty

Gerroff moi land!

Google paying Apple BEEELLIONS to stay search top dog on iDevices, say analysts

But it could turn off taps at any moment

Big legacy tech companies in UK govt start to feel pinch – report

But Brexit, weakened GDS could stall 'disaggregation'

APT-style attack against over 4,000 infrastructure firms blamed on lone Nigerian 20-something

'Get rich or die trying' seems to be working out for this fellow

NASA delivers CREAM-y load to ISS to improve cosmic ray detection

Far away from where Earth's atmosphere can interfere

Drone-maker DJI's Go app contains naughty Javascript hot-patching framework

Updated Apple has already smote JSPatch once this year

Heavy sleeper? Put your god-given talent to work and raise some cash

El Reg and Action for Children want to put our readers onto the streets

Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

Is that one-liner worth it?

HP Inc vows: We're not walking away from Continuum

Analysis And no, neither is Microsoft, thanks very much

Vodafone customers moan about sluggish data abroad

No, non, nein says Brit telco's marketing bods, 'we don't throttle'

Are Asimov's laws enough to stop AI stomping humanity?

Data, and who has it, is the real concern

Police camera inaction? Civil liberties group questions forces' £23m body-cam spend

Report says UK cops need to prove tech benefits policing

Nice guy NetApp's adopting 'disruptive' tech non-disruptively

Analysis Gently easing us into the NVMe-over-Fabrics and storage-class memory future

Oh, boy! Uber investors behind CEO sueball say Travis Kalanick won't let the company grow up

Benchmark's letter to employees details delaying action, trash-fire culture

VMware in premature release of joyful liquidity

Announces preliminary results for Q2 and warns it'll blow its year, in a good way

Waymo fleshes out self-driving car tech with hardware that goes soft at first sign of trouble

Shriveling vehicle patented

Intel CEO Krzanich quits Trump's Manufacturing Council over response to Charlottesville rallies

CEOs of Merck and Under Armour also dump, and dump on, Tweeter-in-chief

Google bins white supremacist site after it tries to host-hop away from GoDaddy

Ad giant has legal fig leaf to justify ban

Photon scattering puts a shine on CERN ATLAS boffins' day

A heavy metal performance proves an old theory

US military spies: We'll capture enemy malware, tweak it, lob it right back at our adversaries

Collateral damage in 3, 2, 1…

hiQ prevails / LinkedIn must allow scraping / Of your page info

Our little haiku to mark temporary lifting of blockade on social network's public profiles

US prosecutors demand data to unmask every visitor to anti-Trump protest website

DreamHost refuses to hand over 1.3m IP addresses, and more, says warrant too broad

Internet addict sent to an anti-addiction boot camp is no longer an addict. Because he's dead

Chinese clinic staff cuffed after 18-year-old gets ultimate cure

Macie slay: AWS touts S3 patrol bots to kill data-slurping hackers

Plus: Database Glue guns, more encryption, hardware key management, and config tools

Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

We did Nazi that coming

Sigh. Big Cable execs dominate FCC panel overseeing Big Cable's broadband upgrades

Deployment committee stacked with industry bods, says report

Raising minimum wage will raise something else: An army of robots taking away folks' jobs

Low-skill workers are under threat either way, it appears

WannaCry vanquisher Marcus Hutchins pleads not guilty to flogging banking trojan Kronos

Trial scheduled for October

A storage giant wants to give you 46,763...

Terabytes? Flash drives? No, PDF pages. Price list SKUwered

If Anonymous 'pwnd' the Daily Stormer, they did a spectacularly awful job

More likely damage control after host GoDaddy pulled plug

Diablo Technologies sheds three execs

NV-DIMM flash tech changes

Major shareholder: BT CEO Gavin Patterson should step down

'A lot of what has gone wrong has not been Gavin’s fault, but...'

Blighty’s beloved Big Ben bell ends, may break Brexit bargain

It must be true, the Daily Express said so

Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

Specs, lies and Skylake

Is your corporate inbox smelling a bit 'phishy' these days?

Study Yes, it’s time for another reader poll

Amazon recalls dodgy solar eclipse shades that offer no eye protection

American cousins, don't make August 21 a blind date

Nosey ex-NHS staffer slapped with fine for illegally peeking at medical records

Don’t let personal curiosity get the better of you, ICO warns

UK industry mouthpiece wants 'near-universal' broadband speeds of 30Mbps by 2020

Says gov needs to 'collaborate' with industry. Now there's a surprise...

Chinese stealth outfit reckons the smartwatch isn’t quite dead

Tic, tic, tic...

Brit firms warned over hidden costs of wiping data squeaky clean before privacy rules hit

Paper shredder? You'll need a data-shredder...

'Other' may yet become the biggest and most useful cloud

COMMENT History tells us none of the big four will dominate forever and that niches matter

Dismayed by woeful AI chatbots, boffins hired real people – and went back to square one

Analysis Amazon Turk serfs have their own problems

GoDaddy gives white supremacist site its marching orders after Charlottesville slur

Publisher described murdered woman in revoltingly sexist and hateful terms

Old Firefox add-ons get 'dead man walking' call

After version 57, plugins go to browser heaven

Toyota, Intel, Ericsson team to get cars talking to the cloud

Plan new networking and compute architectures, plus 'topology-aware storage'

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