This article is more than 1 year old

Who is taking the hyperconverged piss at Simplistic.io?

Startup Simplistic Storage may not be what it seems

There's a new storage company making waves: “Simplistic Storage”.

Simplistic's motto is “Simplistic - its more than just a name it's everything we are.”

The company's lead product is called “Panacea”, which it says “removes the perceived need for expensive disaster recovery solutions to protect your equipment from hazards and outages that can cause multi-million dollar losses.”

That approach seems to be going quite well, as the company also reports the following endorsement:

“By deliberately ignoring slight but well known risks we have set ourselves up as a world leader in a leading analyst's "Magic Roundabout" for Ingorance as a Service (IaaS)”

The site also explains how Simplistic keeps its prices so low, thanks to the following policy regarding spare parts:

“We make parts research and purchasing quick and easy. If you have any questions at all, a quick search of Google or eBay are only a web-browser away. So called 'Genuine' parts, personal service, same day shipping and the industry's best products are simply buzzwords pushed by legacy vendors to get you to pay five times the prices for pretty much the same thing.”

At this point you've probably figured out that the company and its site are works of satire. And quite good satire, too, at least for the few tens of thousands of people around the world who care enough about storage to know a decent storage joke* when they hear one.

Simplistic.io is pretty slick, although there are a few typos (see “Ingorance”, above) and other small errors. Those and the fact the site isn't particularly on-message for a hyperconvergence-hating vendor suggest it is not the work of a marketing department.

The company also operates a Twitter feed that's drawn attention from a few notable storage bloggers.

All of which begs the question: who is behind it the site? A whois search reveals nothing useful: the site's registrant has taken steps to obscure their identity. The site's HTML is also very, very, sparse, but links to a domain called nebula.wsimg.com that has in the past been fingered as a malware source and appears to host lots of Reddit-worthy images. There's also a call to what looks like an AWS S3 bucket.

Beyond that, we're in the dark. Help us out, readers. Let's expose these merry pranksters! ®

* Why was the rock band called 1023 megabytes? Because they couldn't get a gig! Boom-tish. We're here all week.

More about

TIP US OFF

Send us news


Other stories you might like