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Microsoft promises twice-yearly Windows 10, O365 updates – with just 18 months' support

Updated Sysadmin holidays cancelled in March and September, starting in 2020

Sad penguin photo via Shutterstock

Farewell Unity, you challenged desktop Linux. Oh well, here's Ubuntu 17.04

Review GNOME all the way, baby

Script kiddies pwn 1000s of Windows boxes using leaked NSA hack tools

Vulnerable unpatched systems expose exploitable SMB networking to world+dog

Wait – we can explain, says Moby, er, Docker amid rebrand meltdown

Now, now, don't be mean about Moby, dicks

Man looks suspiciously over his shoulder while working on laptop. Photo via Shutterstock

LinkedIn U-turns on Bluetooth-enabled 'Tinder for marketers'

Pop-up requested permission to share data with nearby devices even when app not in use

Would you believe it? The Museum of Failure contains quite a few pieces of technology

Time to look back on those halcyon days of bad ideas, mindlessly hyped

systemd-free Devuan Linux hits version 1.0.0

Unix greybeards issue release candidate and proclaim init freedom

China 'hacked' South Korea to wreck Star Wars missile shield

FireEye fingers Middle Kingdom infiltration teams

FCC greenlights small cell free-for-all in the US

New rules wil lower requirements to build wireless cells

Alaska dentist 'pulled out patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard'

When this thing gets up to 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious sh*t

Doctor Who-inspired proxy transmogrifies politically sensitive web to avoid gov censorship

Slitheen tool smuggles browsers into cyber-Tardis

Less than four weeks till DevOps' finest assemble in London

Events Vote with your feet and join us in Westminster

Base specs leak for Windows 10 Cloud – Microsoft's wannabe ChromeOS assassin

And ahead of mystery launch event in May

Canada says yes to net neutrality – and no to Trump advisor, eh?

Important legal ruling divides North America

IBM SoftLayer plays hardball in object storage price cuts

+Comment Cloud object storage pricing tumbling downhill

Dell backs out of in-cloud backup business by selling Spanning

Another EMC acquisition let go

LinkedIn U-turns on Bluetooth-enabled 'Tinder for marketers'

Pop-up requested permission to share data with nearby devices even when app not in use

Microsoft offers preview to eye AI IoT analytics for edgelords of new net

Azure Stream Analytics to connect your fridge to the cloud for chilled machinations

Shooting org demands answers from Met Police over gun owner blab

What data did marketing agency subcontractor have access to?

US surveillance court declined less than 2 per cent of applications

2016 figures show only 35 of 1,752 applications were turned down in part or full

Peer pressure, not money, lures youngsters into cybercrime – report

Are teenage dreams so hard to beat?

Exploding femtocells: No need for a full recall, says Vodafone

Change yours if you're worried, but operator insists issue is limited to earlier models

A quiet market? Nah, Oracle's to pay $850m for ad-tracking Moat

Do you know where your advertisements are going? Big Red does

Think politics is tumultuous now? Wait till the transhumanists join in...

Reg Lecture The tech-fulled radicals redesigning society

WDC flirting with Japan funds to bolster bid for Toshiba's memory biz

Pursuing extra financial firepower to see off rivals

Cloud students, pay attention! Exam plans promise fresh skills

Going native

Ministry of Justice scraps 'conviction by computer' law

Election nixes online court plans – for now

Farewell Unity, you challenged desktop Linux. Oh well, here's Ubuntu 17.04

Review GNOME all the way, baby

Not the droids you're looking for – worst handsets to resell

Six months later and you've lost 70 per cent of the RRP

(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

Something for the Weekend, Sir? There's a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts

Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard

On-Call Urine a wee spot of dribble, sysadmin says when offered stinking fused mess

Q. Why is Baidu sharing its secret self-driving sauce? A. To help China corner the market

Analysis Web giant wants to accelerate collaboration amid Western competition

Script kiddies pwn 1000s of Windows boxes using leaked NSA hack tools

Vulnerable unpatched systems expose exploitable SMB networking to world+dog

Wait – we can explain, says Moby, er, Docker amid rebrand meltdown

Now, now, don't be mean about Moby, dicks

Web celeb product whores told to put on the red light – or else

And would you believe it? The Kardashians are front and center

Cuffing Assange a 'priority' for the USA says attorney-general

Charges against white-haired-one have reportedly been drafted

Hard-pressed Juicero boss defends $400 IoT juicer after squeezing $120m from investors

Crushed CEO says critics are comparing apples with oranges

New MH370 analysis again says we looked in the wrong places

Drift tests on actual 777 part show plane probably hit ocean north of search area

Microsoft promises twice-yearly Windows 10, O365 updates – with just 18 months' support

Updated Sysadmin holidays cancelled in March and September, starting in 2020

China successfully launches its first robot space truck

Tianzhou-1 will now refuel the Tiangong-2 orbital lab as China prepares a proper space station

Tesla's latest car crash: Its 'meritless' lawsuit against ex-Autopilot bod

Musketeers bag $100,000 after hitting the brakes on allegations

Nuh-uh, Google, you WILL hand over emails stored on foreign servers, says US judge

If you can access them in California, so can the Feds

FYI – There's a legal storm brewing in Cali that threatens to destroy online free speech

Analysis Row over Yelp review menaces web immunity

'We should have done better' – the feeble words of a CEO caught using real hospital IT in infosec product demos

Understatement of the month: 'Mistakes were made'

Trump's self-imposed cybersecurity deadline is up: What we got?

Analysis Quick clue: President Snowflake is a compulsive liar

For the first time ever, Verizon sheds subs: 300,000 punters walk out

Don't worry guys, Yahoo! is coming to the rescue

Ofcom chisels away at BT Openreach's cold, dead hands

We WILL make you open up infrastructure access, vows regulator

Union elevates Fujitsu job cutting protest to Japanese embassy

Ambassador, with these 1,800 layoffs, Fuji really is spoiling us

Google's 'adblocker' is all about taking back control

Watch out, whitelist mafia, you might be swimming with the fishes

Online ad scam launders legions of pirates and pervs into 'legit' surfing

Traffic Alchemist turns base metal into gold

The pain in your chest? That'll be Big Tech's AI arrow of love

Welcome to Lex: AWS's AI-as-a-platform-service

What a To-Do! Microsoft snuffs out Wunderlist

Another day. Another strategy...

Tesla hit by class action sueball over autopilot software updates

Claimants say features not included, updates were dangerous

Mastercard launches card that replaces PIN with fingerprint sensor

Sweet MFA... but there's no documentation available for users

Flaws found in Linksys routers that could be used to create a botnet

Engineers working on firmware updates

EU plans for blockchain 'observatory' raise concerns, says expert

€500,000 to improve expertise and regulatory capacity

HTC seeks salvation with squeezy design

OK... that's a new one

Trump's lips sealed on surveillance, complains EU privacy chief

Concern as to whether new administration will abide by Obama's promises

Infinidat puts array to the test, says it 'wrecks' Pure and EMC systems

Fielding most IOs from memory blasts 'em out of the park

Microsoft shrugs off report that Edge can expose user identities from JS Fetch requests

Updated La la la nothing to patch here la la la

Have we got a new, hip compound IT phrase for you! Enter... UserDev

Yes, the pesky creatures that break your code are often worth listening to

No middle ground, no compromise: VMware blocks Cisco's SDN play

Not cool, man

Apple's zippy silicon leaves Android rivals choking on dust

It's all about how you spend that sweet R&D dollar

Can you make a warzone delivery drone? UK.gov wants to give you cash

£40k or more for initial contracts up for grabs

You just sent an on-prem app to the cloud and your data centre has empty racks. What now?

It's too warm to store booze. Renting it out is risky. Slowing things down can do the job

AWS v Oracle: Mark Hurd schooled on how to run a public cloud that people actually use

Amazon VP takes Big Red's co-CEO to task over server boast

Ambient light sensors can steal data, says security researcher

Not-so-bright API means web pages can use a W3C idea to pop your phone or laptop

SPY-tunes scandal: Bloke sues Bose after headphones app squeals on his playlist

Oh no, don't let data slurpers know we love Coldplay

Opportunity rover gets bored of spot it's explored since 2014

NASA moving to 'Perseverance Valley' where we can see Martian erosion in action

Accept for a second that robot surgeons exist. Who will check they're up to the job – and how?

Let us level with you...

Computer games to become medal sport at Asian Games

Olympic Council of Asia will award gold medals for fragging in 2022, helped by Alibaba

Riverbed slurps Xirrus to take SD-WAN all the way to Wi-Fi

Because internet things should probably talk on secure virtual networks, not punter-grade WiFi

Zuckerberg's absolutely mental: Brain sensors that read YOUR MIND at 100 words a minute

F8 2017 Billionaire dreamer to see your thoughts 'by 2019'

Qualcomm takes $1bn BlackBerry bite like a champ, struts away

Patent royalty check dings profits but nothing Snapdragon biz can't handle

Google's healthcare cousin to stick 10,000 human guinea pigs under the microscope

Four-year study will bung patient records in the cloud

We're spying on you for your own protection, says NSA, FBI

Except we're not, of course, because that would be illegal

If you've stayed at a Holiday Inn you may have lost more than a good night's sleep (like maybe your bank card)

Massive malware infection slurps customers' privates

So few use Windows Phone, Microsoft can't be bothered: Security app is iOS, Android only

Redmond-powered mobes don't deserve latest sign-in tool

Please don't call them Facebook chatbots, says Facebook's bot boss

F8 2017 That whole conversation-as-a-UI thing was just a big misunderstanding

PACK YOUR BAGS! Boffins spot Earth-size planet most likeliest yet to harbor alien life

Water, check. Low radiation, check. Possible to get to... oh wait, darn

Sending data to the cloud is our business and business is GOOD

Nasuni, Panzura and Avere all set for accelerated growth

Microsoft touts SQL Server 2017 as 'first RDBMS with built-in AI'

Python slithers in next to R

Court favours Nexsan over EMC in Unity trademark squabble

A beautiful David-Goliath tale

30,000 London gun owners hit by Met Police 'data breach'

Who gave marketing agency access to super-sensitive address database?

IBM storage revenues grew? Hahaha, good one. Oh, you're serious

Analysis Reverses 22 quarters of hardware decline

UK.gov survey shines light on cybersecurity threats to businesses

Phishing, ransomware remain most pressing concerns

Game authors demand missing ZX Spectrum reboot royalties

No cash, slow answers, firm still blames man who quit a year ago

Data trashed? When RPO 0 isn't enough

Cast-iron storage policies

Toshiba spins out new NAS disk drive with its fastest transfer rate yet

Consumer workhorse has the speed and capacity to thrill ya

Speaking in Tech: Hacking Microsoft Windows? That's cute

Podcast Hacker whizz and Veracode co-founder Chris Wysopal joins the crew this week to talk secure software

Ex-West Ham winger charged twice over cybershenanigans

22-year-old to appear before magistrates at month's end

Why Firefox? Because not everybody is a web designer, silly

Open Source Insider Do we really want Chrome hegemony?

Will the MOAB (Mother Of all AdBlockers) finally kill advertising?

'Perceptual ad blocker' cannot be defeated, researchers claim

How to breathe new life into your legacy kit now you've gone hybrid

Hold fire on the euthanasia

Chap 'fixes' Microsoft's Windows 7 and 8 update block on new CPUs

Developer says he's found a way to stop Windows' new CPU check, which means updates flow again

Silicon Valley tech CEO admits beating software engineer wife, offered just 13 days in the clink

Despite evidence and previous offense, Abhishek Gattani unlikely to face serious charges

Fixing your oven can cook your computer

Updated Appliance vendor Hotpoint's UK service site is serving malware when you seek repairs

Revealed: Scammers plaster Google Maps with pins to lure punters from honest traders

Research shows how web mapping service can be abused

Google's cloudy image recognition is easily blinded, say boffins

Hooray for humans! We can pick out images too obscure for Google's AI

Facebook brews Caffe2 AI toolkit so apps can give SnapChat a slap

F8 2017 Need some code to alter pics and whack some stickers and be worth billions?

Release the hounds! Xen 4.9's first RC is out and wants testing

Early June looks like being hypervisor happy time

Can nothing stop the Veeam tank? We hate to save you a click but: No

Backup biz notches up another 4,000-new-customer quarter

Oracle patches Solaris 10 hole exploited by NSA spyware tool – and 298 other security bugs

Mega load of updates lands for tons of Big Red gear

IBM. Sigh. Revenues. Sigh. Down. Sigh. For the 20th quarter in a row

Sigh

Intel loses its Lustre – Chipzilla bins own-brand HPC file system

Between killing an OpenStack research team and killing IDF, we see a pattern here

Stop asking people for their passwords, rights warriors yell at US Homeland Security

File request under: 'Trash can'

Trump signs exec order signaling foreign H-1B visa techie crackdown

Updated Buy American, hire American, unlike me, grins US president

Zuckerberg: Escape from the real world into my goofy make-believe science-fiction fantasy

F8 2017 Facebook boss reckons he'll heal society's ills with pix

Foxconn, Apple, big biz circle Toshiba's memory biz cash cow – rumors

So far, the highest bid is $27bn, it is claimed

Samsung's Shixby: Reviewers unimpressed with S8 digital assistant

Voice version won't even ship until spring

Guess who's back at Microsoft? Excel, Word creator Charles Simonyi

Windows giant devours Office mastermind and his biz, Intentional Software

MEYER! SUES! YAHOO!

Brouhaha over shoddy website and payments sparks lawsuit

Microsoft and Rambus will get schwifty in quantum-cum-cryogenic computation collab

Turn off the heating, it's gonna get −180C in here

Dell servers set to get a flash boost from Toshiba

Just don't mention the memory business malarky

Docker emits LinuxKit: You can probably guess what it does

It's actually pretty nerdy but in a good way

Profit with just one infection! Crook sells ransomware for $175

Nifty dashboard shows the bitcoin rolling in

H-1B applications down after Trump's 'American techies first' rhetoric

Silicon Valley wants foreigners, POTUS preparing to say no

Mozilla abandons experimental Aurora Firefox channel

New builds from Nightly to Beta

New satellites could cause catastrophic space junk collisions

Brit scientist warns of increased hazards from new constellations

Large UK businesses are getting pwned way more than smaller ones

But are they just better at sniffing out breaches?

No, Microsoft is not 'killing Windows 10 Mobile'

Not yet anyway

Oh snap! UK Prime Minister Theresa May calls June election

Bid to nix post-Brexit 'uncertainty and instability'

Barracuda looks more like a flatfish in face of renewal period volatility

Growth slows as subs replace boxes and renewals fluctuate

So, you're 'ISO 27001 accredited', huh? Just saying so doesn't cut it

All the hoops and how to jump through them on your way to information security

vCenter's phone-home 'customer improvement' feature opened remote code execution hole

VMware's also released first vSphere 6.5 hardening guide

Debian bins keys assigned to arrested Russian contributor

If Dmitry Bogatov's been compromised, Debian needs to protect itself

NetAdmin challenge: Go to Mars, connect a rover, orbiter and three bases

Research org releases VM to let you simulate it, plus other interplanetary networks

Naked Androids to rampage across Russia

Google settles antitrust case and pledges to open its OS to rival search engines and apps

Feel guilty for scoffing Easter chocolate? Good news: Scientists have made NEGATIVE mass

Vanish that flab using lasers to warp laws of physics

OpenStack: Pleeeeease stop panicking, Intel and Rackspace still love us

Also, er, yeah, Chipzilla pulled the plug on that big project

That apple.com link you clicked on? Yeah, it's actually Russian

Didn't we fix this back in 2005? Apparently not

Australia scraps temporary visas for skilled workers

Revise your plans for a long working holiday – the new visa will be tougher to score

Code-sharing leads to widespread bug sharing that black-hats can track

Researchers find vulns in popular tutorials that have spread far and wide

eBay threatens to block Australians from using offshore sellers

Plan to collect local sales tax from all sellers has tat bazaar, Amazon and others fuming

NASA agent faces heat for 'degrading' moon rock sting during which grandmother wet herself

Retiree grilled after trying to flog heirlooms to foot medical bills

Embarrassing! FreeNAS downgrades latest release to 'tech preview'

'Nearly half of users' rolled back due to 'general instability', so it's been taken behind the shed ...

RIP Bob Taylor: Internet, desktop PC pioneer powers down at 85

Obit Ex-NASA manager oversaw tech that grew into today's web, OSes

Mondays suck. So why not spend yours playing with an original Mac and games in your browser

Welcome (back) to Macintosh!

'Nobody's got to use the internet,' argues idiot congressman in row over ISP privacy rules

Jim Sensenbrenner long on bluster, short on thought

IDF now stands for Intel Ditches Frisco: Chipzilla axes annual tech conf

Processors are like sausages, uh, you don't need to know how they're made, apparently

Oracle gets to Wercker, dines on container biz

Larry goes Dutch on Docker support

Regulate This! Time to subject algorithms to our laws

Opinion A Minority Report future awaits

Apple nabs permit to experiment with self-driving iCars in Cali

Race to robo ride glory continues to heat up

Leaked NSA point-and-pwn hack tools menace Win2k to Windows 8

Updated Microsoft claims it has patched most of the exploited bugs

'Tech troll' sues EFF to silence 'Stupid Patent of the Month' blog. Now the EFF sues back

GEMSA, meet Streisand

All ready for that Easter holiday? Here's a mild MySQL security bug

Panic over the Riddle flaw – or just update to version 5.7. Your choice. We're not your dad

Good job, everyone. We're making AI just as tediously racist and sexist as ourselves

Machines are more like us than once thought

Super Cali goes ballistic, Uber drivers are stocious (allegedly!)

Updated This app maker's policies are something quite atrocious

Alert: Using a web ad blocker may identify you – to advertisers

There's no escape muhaha

Infosys says it'll hand shareholders $2bn

Its stock price then dipped

Not even Easter can stop the inexorable march of storage

Put down the chocolate, catch up on the hottest industry news

Deeming Facebook a 'publisher' of users' posts won't tackle paedo or terrorist content

Comment Tackle the message, not the message-bearer

Switch on your smartphone camera and look how fertile I am

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Come as you are (every seed is sacred)

Sysadmin 'trashed old bosses' Oracle database with ticking logic bomb'

Always ensure the office laptop gets returned

Linux remote root bug menace: Make sure your servers, PCs, gizmos, Android kit are patched

Ping of pwn: Malicious UDP packets may take over gear

Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

Don't want to use Windows 10? Then you don't want any fixes

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