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What do people want? If we're talking mainstream enterprise SATA SSDs, reliability, chirps Micron

Capacity max same with 32- to 64-layer 3D NAND transition

I thought there'd be more Instagram: ICT apprenticeships down 20% in five years

Just not as sexy as engineering

Security patches done, machines upgraded, the coffee's hot – just in time for storage roundup

Could Nutanix be gearing up for an acquisition?

Sack the Xerox CEO 'immediately', yell activist investors

Moneymen always ready to say: Icahn tell you what you're doing wrong

UK competition watchdog: Fox's takeover of Sky 'not in public interest'

Deal would hand Murdoch too much power – provisional ruling

IBM UK's pre-Xmas GTS head-chop: THWACK! Is that it?

Unsure on-shore: When it comes to staff ratio, you hit it then quit it... right? Right?

Serverless: Should we be scared? Maybe. Is it a silly name? Possibly

Is it a game-changer? Definitely

We're cutting F-35 costs, honest, insists jet-builder Lockheed Martin

Exec tells us they're knocking 14% off the price by 2020

NASA is sniffing jet fuel over Germany

Ancient DC-8 will try to figure out if biofuel’s a sick burn for contrails. NOT chemtrails, OK?

A high-energy neutrino, a powerful cosmic ray, and a gamma ray walk into a bar... Where you from, asks the bartender

Let us tell you, reply two boffins

Facebook invents new unit of time to measure modern attention spans: 1/705,600,000 of a sec

FB VR devs invite you to flick the screen rate

Half a terabyte in your smartmobe? Yup. That's possible now

Integral bumps microSD to 512 GB, leaving SanDisk's 400GB offering looking a bit meek

Electronic voting box makers try to get gear stripped from eBay and out of hackers' hands

Shmoocon Sellers sent letters demanding auctions are yanked, conf told

Blockheads changing company names to surf crypto wave get a warning from the SEC

Regulator tells lawyers told to get off the fence or face unpleasant fall

Optimus multi-prime is the new rule as OpenSSL transforms crypto policies again

If an algo ain't ratified by standards groups, it won't be welcome

President Trump turns out the lights on solar panel imports into US

Tariff jacks up price for overseas components

Curse of Woz strikes again – first Fusion-io fizzles out, now Primary Data goes down

Startup goes silent, scent of burned cash wafts from offices

That's not very ice! Blizzard silently patches games hack hole, gives Googler cold shoulder

Code update hijacking vulnerability was snow joke

OK, who had 'Montana' in the net neutrality state pool? Congratulations

Big Sky state first to pass mandate to bar throttling

Murdoch to Zuckerberg: Cough up cash, nerd

Here comes the great defender of journalism – and he wants Facebook to pay for news

'WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?' Linus Torvalds explodes at Intel spinning Spectre fix as a security feature

Patches slammed as 'complete and utter garbage' as Chipzilla U-turns on microcode

Facebook grows a conscience, admits it corroded democracy

Mr Zuckerberg, are we the baddies?

US govt shutdown lobs spanner in SpaceX's Falcon Heavy launch

Maiden flight faces delay as Congress squabbles over budgets

Playboy is suing Boing Boing over Imgur centrefold link

Court has been asked to toss out 'mystifying' sueball

Nominations open for comp restoration gong, the Tony Sale Award

Cash and trophy up for grabs

Firms pushing devices at teachers that let kids draw... on a screen? You BETT

Newsflash from Microsoft: Future of learning will be supported by teachers and technology

Blockchain rebrand sends Stapleton Capital's shares soaring

Shares only double in value this time

NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

It's up to you but the fluffy stuff is awesome, beams guidance

How digitalisation will change your storage culture

The rise and rise of flash

UK Army chief: Russia could totally pwn us with cable-cutting and hax0rs

Speech to think tank will warn of Brit weaknesses in key areas

Tax Google and Facebook for a job subsidy scheme? Sigh

Comment If you want more public interest journalism, you need a Big Gov IT Project™

Crappy Christmas! Dixons Carphone dials back profit expectations

It woz Brexit and 'cautious consumers' wot done it

HMRC dev support team cc blurtfest: Over 1,400 email addresses blabbed

Developers find out who else is testing HMRC's tools

The Reg visits London Met Police's digital and electronics forensics labs

Met lab tour throws up issues around storage, encryption and privacy versus security

PC sales get that post-Brexit vote sinking feeling

Price rises led to fewer shipments but.....

Squeezing more out of slippery big tech may even take tax reforms

Figures are growing but still puny compared to profits

Take a former NSA head hacker, a Raspberry Pi, weird Kiwi radios and what do you get?

Shmoocon Legal – promise! – but completely mad Christmas lights, that's what

Dridex redux, with FTP serving the nasties

Venerable malware is back for another round of phishing phun

'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

Who, me? In 'On-Call' techies blame users for messes. In 'Who, me?' it's all your own fault

Smut site fingered as 'source' of a million US net neutrality comments

Shmoocon Bad news for the FCC because the site has 55 staff and doesn't hand out email addresses

Job ad for designer proves its point with MS Paint shocker

It’s the visual equivalent of "10 PRINT 'Developer Wanted'"

Meltdown/Spectre week three: World still knee-deep in something nasty

And years away from safety

China flaunts quantum key distribution in-SPAAACE by securing videoconference

Satellite carries keys to Graz

Linux 4.15 becomes slowest release since 2011

It needs a ninth release candidate, thanks in part to Meltdown and Spectre

Europe waves through Qualcomm's NXP slurp

Chip-maker promises to play nice with others to secure deal

New Zealand joins the Space Race

Sunday success for local launchers Rocket Labs

Hey American business, here's how to use blockch ... sorry – we've been shut down

Shmoocon NIST delays advice and is very, very sorry about 2013 crypto SNAFU

Unlocked: The hidden love note on the grave of America's first crypto power-couple

Shmoocon BAAAB AABBB AAAAA BAAAA AABAA ABBAB ABBAA BAAAA AABAA AAABB AAABB ABAAA BAABA

Cyber-coin crackdown continues: Commission charges couple crypto-currency company chiefs concerning 'conned' customers

Crikey!

Twitter breaks bad news to 677,775 twits: You were duped by Russia

Election manipulation wasn't as bad as feared – it was worse

FCC drops idiotic plans to downgrade entire nation's internet speeds

Analysis US regulator won't pretend that mobile networks are equivalent to landlines

In Soviet California, pedestrian hits you! Bloke throws himself in front of self-driving car

We're not sure why but maybe it will become a thing

America restarts dodgy spying program – just as classified surveillance abuse memo emerges

Analysis There is literally nothing decent in this story

OnePlus minus 40,000 credit cards: Smartmobe store hacked to siphon payment info to crooks

Chinese biz scrambles to tear down injected theft script

Talk about a positive mental pl-attitude: WD Ultrastars shed disks without hit to capacity

Revitalises midrange nearline air-filled tech

Internet giants removing 70 per cent of reported hate speech, crows European Commission

But we might still drum up some new regs, so keep it up

Is the writing on the wall for on-premises IT? This survey seems to say so

Suppliers, time to consider that SaaS and/or public cloud angle

Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

White plastic? No Space Grey?

There are other, legal ways to nab Microsoft emails, privacy groups remind Supremes

Redmond finds allies in Irish data centre spat

Anglo, French space agencies sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G

UKSA and CNES buddy up on climate science, Mars missions

IBM turns panto villain as The Reg tells readers: 'It's behind you!'

Hello children, fancy a chat about muck-raking tech rags?

Court throws out BT's plans to reduce pension rates

Back to drawing board on £14bn pensions deficit

Bigger Blue: Tonic for Ginni as IBM actually does OK in storage

Analysis Four quarters of growth in a row ain't too shabby

Take a bow, TalkTalk, Post Office, Vodafone! You win most-whinged-about telcos award

Regulator figures show Sky, Tesco users as most content

Digital mortgage service sounds handy, right? Oh, it's through UK.gov's Verify

Keys in hands of highly borkable ID gateway

Make it rain: NetApp sets up Cloud Infrastructure biz unit

Stuffs portfolio with CI, flash and converged solutions

Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Just put it under the desk along with all the others

You may not be a software company, but that isn't an excuse to lame-out at computering

If pizza delivery, coffee joints and banks can do it, so can you

Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Jeez, get a grip, Sol!

User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

On-Call European Commission sysadmin offers us tales of Euro-dunderheads

Have three WINEs this weekend, because WINE 3.0 has landed

Wine Is Not an Emulator Windows-on-POSIX software now handles Windows apps on Android

.UK overseer Nominet abandons its own charitable foundation – and why this matters

Special report Non-profit org mutates into investment firm

Baywatch hero drone saves silly struggling swimmers Down Under from going down under

Video Only tits in this drama were the two kids in trouble

Text bomb, text bomb, you're my text bomb! Naughty HTML freezes Messages, Safari, etc

Apple font code on iOS, macOS knackered by texted link

Two things will survive a nuclear holocaust: Cockroaches and crafty URLs like ғасеьоок.com

Pesky phishing pages using international domain names just won't go away

A380 saved as Emirates orders another 20 planes, plus 16 options

Airbus says it’ll keep building the behemoth of the skies into the 2030s

Nervy nuke-armed nation fires missile with 5,000km range

India can hit all of China now. Or Moscow, Athens, USA’s Indian Ocean navy base ...

Linux's Grsecurity dev team takes blog 'libel' fight to higher court

Meanwhile, Bruce Perens wants his legal bills footed

IBM lifts its 22-quarter shrinking sales curse: Finally, a whole 1% uptick

Big Blue exits five-year skid, shares fall on uncertain future

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