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What can we use to hit Intel between the eyes, thinks Qualcomm – a 10nm ARM server chip

Centriq 2400 now sampling, due to beat Chipzilla by a year

China and Russia aren't ready to go it alone on tech, but their threats are worryingly plausible

Feature Vendors caught between risks and fear of missing out on growth markets

Robot as person illustration via Shutterstock

I was a robot and this is what I learned

Sysadmin blog The internet of me

Broadcom quietly dismantles its 'Vulcan' ARM server chip project

Avago refuses to beam 64-bit CPU aboard, sources claim

Epson WF-3520 printer

Firmware freakout sends Epson Wi-Fi printers into reboot loop

Have you tried not turning it off and on again?

$17k win for man falsely accused of a terrible crime: Downloading an Adam Sandler movie

That's for his legal bills and court costs – not defamation

Don't have a (Dirty) COW, man: Android gets kernel hijack patch

Meanwhile, another nasty Linux bug surfaces

Fitbit picks up Pebble, throws Pebble as far as it can into the sea

Smartwatch market down by one

Crims turn to phishing-as-a-service to slash costs and max profits

So says Imperva after trolling the dark web

Speaking in Tech: Did an open source guru just ask us to join Amazon?

Podcast We must have misheard... Plus - a Windows 10 Xmas

Sage evaluates sale of North American payments biz

A nice little 'underperformer', apparently

Are you listening, Mr Trump? World's largest tech distie is now owned by the Chinese

Delayed transaction of US-HQ'd Ingram Micro gets regulatory approval

Burning desire helped us collar arson suspect, claim Danish cops

'DNA' evidence used to track suspect on trial this week

Everything at Apple Watch is awesome, insists Tim Cook

... after Moto gives the wrist a rest

Information on smart meters? Yep. They're great. That works, right? – UK.gov

Interesting response to 'lack of clarity' on details moan

What can we use to hit Intel between the eyes, thinks Qualcomm – a 10nm ARM server chip

Centriq 2400 now sampling, due to beat Chipzilla by a year

Brit telco EE's ads banned for 'misleading' 4G speed claims

More prominent evidence needed to back up claims of 75% faster speeds than rivals

Privacy is theft! Dave Eggers' big-screen takedown of Google and Facebook emerges

Resistance is futile

So, who is the cluster bomb? Student results sliced, diced, analysed

HPC Blog And maybe over-analysed too

HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Update Venerable aircraft carrier makes her final journey

Russia's bid for mobile self-sufficiency may be the saviour of Sailfish

Comment Comrades: We present your official alternative to Android

I was a robot and this is what I learned

Sysadmin blog The internet of me

China and Russia aren't ready to go it alone on tech, but their threats are worryingly plausible

Feature Vendors caught between risks and fear of missing out on growth markets

Firmware freakout sends Epson Wi-Fi printers into reboot loop

Have you tried not turning it off and on again?

Crims using anti-virus exclusion lists to send malware to where it can do most damage

When vendors tell you what to whitelist, crims are reading too

Uber is watching your smartphone's battery charge

Browser vendors' Battery API deprecation can't come soon enough

Cloud Velox sends advance parties to make the cloud feel like home

Network lifter-and-shifter automates cloud migrations

Microsoft says LinkedIn will make Trump, Brexit, voters feel great again

We can't make this stuff up – Microsoft said this after Europe okayed its LinkedIn acquisition

Two top EMCers bail from Dell EMC

Official line is they want to be CEOs elsewhere. Or is the culture change chafing?

Brocade ships switches but makes most noise about DevOps

Goodbye drudgery - now you can script up your networking business workflows

Big Switch takes big bet it can beat off big denial of service attacks

Yuge attacks. The best attacks. Terabit-scale attacks from internet things

Android, Qualcomm move on insecure GPS almanac downloads

HTTPS? They've heard of it

Open source Roundcube webmail can be attacked ... by sending it an e-mail

The Fifth Element is a problem - the input argument that didn't get checked is an RCE hole

Broadcom quietly dismantles its 'Vulcan' ARM server chip project

Avago refuses to beam 64-bit CPU aboard, sources claim

Big Blue's Bluemix bellows 'We do DevOps too!' until blue in face

IBM adds deployment and testing toolchain templates

Erasure coding startup springs forth from Silicon Fjord

Analysis Viking raider's longboat filled with erasure codes

Wannabe Cali governor gives up against beach-blocking billionaire VC

Gavin Newsom pleads with Vinod Khosla to end dispute over much-loved shoreline

Verizon flogs off 29 data centers, pockets $3.6bn

Equinix takes over bit-barns as telco shifts focus to wireless and fiber

Robotics is coming on leaps and bounds – literally: Bushbaby bot most vertically agile yet

US Army backs droid for search and rescue missions

cat Infinit.tgz | docker import - Infinit:acquired

Paris biz gobbled, 'batteries' for distributed storage to be included with Docker containers

US Supreme Court slashes Samsung's patent payout to Apple

Update Never-ending phone design suit takes yet another turn – $400m check to be reduced

Algorithm advance alleviates AI amnesia

Analysis Did you know machine-learning systems are pretty forgetful when picking up new skills? Here's how to fix it

Veritas lays off '30 per cent' of sales staff – merry Christmas!

Let's hope it protects your information better than it protects its own jobs

We grill another storage startup that's meshing about with NVMe

Interview Says virtual NVMe-based SAN beats shared NVMe drive aaray

England OUT (of Euro 2016, not the EU) tops Twitter year

How to record it

SimpliVity does meet-in-the-channel type deal with Huawei

Huawei hyper-converged infrastructure appliances running SimpliVity software.

Hackers actively stealing Wi-Fi keys from vulnerable routers

Still using the password from the back of the router? Oops!

New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'

'Reaper' and 'Predator' were too aggressive ... apparently

Ofcom fleshes out plans to open up BT's ducts and poles

Come lay your fibre in BT's pipes, says regulator

Going underground: The Royal Mail's great London train squeeze

Geek's Guide to Britain Uber cars, Amazon drones? Pah! Driverless deliveries from a different age

Own goal for Scottish Football Association as fans sent phishy emails

Body in lochdown after 'breach at third-party supplier'

How to solve your Microsoft storage challenges with All-Flash NVMe

Promo Tune into SuperMicro, Microsoft and Intel webinar explainer, Dec 6

Sony kills off secret backdoor in 80 internet-connected CCTV models

Magic 'secret key' HTTP request opens up admin control

Stung by Dynamics 365 hike? Microsoft has a deal for you... just don't expect much

Transitional agreements rolled for CRM subscribers

NASA's hyperwall wonderwall uses virtual flash SAN

Case study Distributed NVMe SAN solves slow off-node access latency issues

Don't cut yourself on that Edge: Nexenta containerises DevOps

Please contain your excitement

The UK's Investigatory Powers Act allows the State to tell lies in court

Analysis Enshrining parallel construction in English law

Facebook, Microsoft, Twitter and YouTube team to ID terror content

Hash-sharing pact will help them ID violent extremism you see it

In the three years since IETF said pervasive monitoring is an attack, what's changed?

Feature IETF Security director Stephen Farrell offers a report card on evolving defences

Software can be more secure, says NIST, and we think we know how

Standards org's wish-list probably looks a bit like yours

Standards body warned SMS 2FA is insecure and nobody listened

Duo Security says NIST's advice to deprecate out-of-band passwords has been ignored

Apple Watch sales go over a cliff: Down 2.8 meellion per quarter in a year

If a wearable does much more than measure your pulse, it hardly has a pulse

Online advent calendar offers mystery VM every day until Christmas

QEMU serves up festive feast of OS images and oddities like Forth scripts

Printer security is so bad HP Inc will sell you services to fix it

Finally, FINALLY, someone is turning off Telnet and FTP

Arista CloudVision Portal bug revealed, plus evidence it's been used

You know the drill: face-palm, download, patch, grumble about state of security, relax

1.4bn records from HaveIBeenPwned offered for your analytical pleasure

Troy Hunt's Christmas trove is a splendid gift for security and data nerds

Cassini tickles Saturn's rings ahead of final death plunge

September set for point of no return

Microsoft boffins think VR visions will rival drugs by 2027

No more search boxes, no work benefits, and your social value will be your data trail

Engineers say safety features got squished out of cramped Samsung Note 7

Overpacked handset was putting too much pressure on battery

Nutanix finds Waters flows away

New corporate marketing head joins hyper-converged box and software shifter

Canada asks citizens: How would you like us to spy on you?

Le Canada demande aux citoyens: Comment aimeriez-vous que nous vous espionnions?

CloudFlare warns of another massive botnet, er, flaring up

DDoS attacks on the horizon as White House cybersecurity report issues recommendations

Bloke sold cash register code to restaurants that deliberately hid sales from taxmen

Now he's coughing up $3.5m after POS POS crackdown

Hollow, world! Netflix premieres Java in-memory database toolkit

Store modestly sized databases locally and avoid cache maintenance

If your smart home gear hasn't updated recently, throw it in the trash

Paul Vixie on how to survive the impending IoT security nightmare

US axes $722m takeover of chip biz by Chinese investors. Thanks, Obama!

National security fears spark executive order

Datrium: $55m burning hole in its pocket and raring to go global

Open convergence guys make mad dash for growth

BAE Systems' autonomous research aircraft flies itself to Scotland

Demonstrator dusted off, but will people trust it?

Micron wheels out 'highest density' SATA SSD on the market

+Comment 3D TLC latecomer catches up

AWS is coming for UK infrastructure suppliers' lunch – report

Even Google will have trouble hanging on to its sandwich

Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

Newcastle firm takes rap on knuckles from Ofcom

In EU, Veritas: Post-Symantec firm flogs data protection 'safety' to biz

Free, free at last and with new software to boot

HPE launches two-pronged attack on hyper-converged market

Analysis HC 250? HC 380? What are they actually for?

Sigfox IPO? Um, sure! 2017, 2018, whenever, we'll definitely do it

Funding target missed, potential IPO date slips right

Team Trump snubs Big Internet oligarchs

Economic forum shuns Zuck, Google, but finds seat for IBM

BlackBerry's final QWERTY floats past the rumour mill

What took you so long?

Citizens Advice slams 'unfair' broadband compensation scheme

Suppliers get automatic recompense, punters get nowt

Watch your back, Netflix: Viu on track for 10 million subs next year

Analysis iFlix, Viu flicks – they're all coming for Netflix

DDN claims burst buffer bashes 'past 1TB/sec bandwidth'

Japanese superdupercomputer kept fed with data by burst buffer beast

US election pollsters weren't (very) wrong – statistically speaking

Media open season on prediction number crunchers

What's in Hammond's box? Autumn fallout for Britain's tech SMBs

Cash to update 'antiquated network infrastructure'

Beardy Branson's space bird spreads its wings

SpaceShipTwo passes first glide test since 2014 tragedy

Guessing valid credit card numbers in six seconds? Priceless

Brit researchers find a way to figure out VISA card numbers just by going shopping

Take that, creationists: Boffins witness birth of new species in the lab

Another nail in the coffins of the anti-evolution crowd

Apple again late to another market others pioneered. Or is it?

Cupertino's ambitions to apply machine learning to transportation revealed in letter

Elon Musk-backed OpenAI reveals Universe – a universal training ground for computers

Reinforcement learning environment hosts virtualized video games and more

IoT camera crew Titathink tells Reg it'll patch GET bug in a week

Apologises for 'serious mistake' in older kit, says latest things are secure

Cyanogen parts ways with its founder

'Consolidation' plan will shutter one office but is hoped to unify dev team

Linus Torvalds finds 163 reasons to wait a week for a new Linux

Kernel devs weren't quiet enough so the world has Linux 4.9 rc8 to consider

Google proudly regards dented shovel as Flash lies supine on the floor

'We'll be back', Choc Factory devs growl at listless body

Icelandic Pirate Party asked to form government

We be in uncharted waters now

Euro Patent Office prez 'a disgrace to France'

Battistelli's agency also slapped down by international tribunal for unfair disciplinary hearings

Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

Software fix coming after Puma 6 code bug hits Virgin Media, Comcast, Arris and other boxes

'Toyota dealer stole my wife's saucy snaps from phone, emailed them to a swingers website'

Texas pastor and spouse sue automaker, sales boss cuffed

VCs to Trump: You know what would really make America great? Tax breaks for VCs

Silicon Valley sugar daddies want more cash to throw at startups

Microsoft, IBM, Intel refuse to hand over family jewels to China

US giants balk at demands to reveal source code, schematics

Amazon tries again with AppStream because customers didn't like it

Tired of desktop apps that respond instantly? Banish them to the browser

Violin Memory axes staff just before Christmas, gives CFO $150k bonus

Cash gift-wrapped to keep beancounter sweet for next couple of months

Apple blames air for iPhone 6S's narcolepsy

Battery woes blamed on indecent exposure during manufacturing

Reimagine with us, the FT's printed virtual reality guide to Dublin

Printed VR, you say?

King's College London staggers from outage, replaces infrastructure services head

Exclusive #PrayForKCL

HMS Queen Lizzie to carry American jets and sail in support of US foreign policy

She might as well wear the Stars and Stripes at this rate

Russia accuses hostile foreign powers of plot to undermine its banks

Let's get ready to rouble

Exclusive: Team Trump's net neutrality guru talks to El Reg

Interview Bursting the filter bubble with Dr Layton

Dell EMC kills off VxRack Neutrino

EOL for hyper-converged, rack-scale, turnkey turkey

Axel Springer boss defends Facebook in fake news controversy

Zuck finds a friend

Internet of Things alliance LoRa: Licence to WAN? Yes please

Coughing up for spectrum might be worth it for quality of service

HPE UK preps the redundancy ride as Chrimbo looms

Not compulsory... yet! On track to shift 60% of service staff to 'low-cost countries'

Microsoft refuses to join the Zero Outage brigade, Google and AWS keep mum

Heads in sand time. If service providers don't admit a problem exists, does it?

Sh... IoT just got real: Mirai botnet attacks targeting multiple ISPs

Analysis Now ZyXEL and D-Link routers from Post Office and TalkTalk under siege

Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

Inventor of polymer banknote: Veggie £5 refuseniks are being 'absolutely stupid'

Building IoT London: More speakers, workshops added to programme

Early bird tickets? Don’t mind if I do

Pure Storage is betting its FlashArray farm on NVMe

+Comment Adoption starts in 2017 and will be leading flash interface protocol by 2019

Brexit means Brexit: What the heck does that mean...

... for your data?

HyperGrid's ex-ice hockey player evangelist wants to slot the puck

Analysis Murphy’s Marrakech Express leads to metaphorical storage goal

It’s Brexploitation! Microsoft punishes UK for Brexit with cloud price-gouging

Redmond blames currency for UK-hosted Azure hike

Microsoft's 'Samaritan' refuses help to hackers doing Win 10 recon

'SAMRi10' script hides the creds hackers crave, making box-to-box jumps harder

LeEco Le Pro 3: Low-cost, high-spec Droid takes on the big boys with a big fat batt

Review Stonkingly good grunt, battery life, some rough edges

Sysadmin figures out dating agency worker lied in his profile

On-Call I'm tall, handsome, ready to commit and don't know how to operate the ENTER key

Windows 10 market share growth just barely has a pulse

Thanksgiving turkey: Free turns out to be what you were willing to pay

Server market slumps as everyone stops buying

Clouds, boffins, businesses all keep hands in pockets. And ARMs are nowhere

Hackers waste Xbox One, PS4, MacBook, Pixel, with USB zapper

VIDS What would happen if someone sticks this USBBQ into an airplane seat socket?

Google turns on free public NTP servers that SMEAR TIME

With a leap second coming up, smearing's quite a good idea

'AWS is fast, punches above its weight, stings Oracle, but no knockout'

AWS re:Invent Pundits note growth in Lambda, database efforts as highlights of conf

Shamoon malware returns to again wipe Saudi-owned computers

Iran suspected as likely source of re-vamped nastyware

Online criminals iced as cops bury malware-spewing Avalanche

Four-year op by US and EU culminates in arrests, server seizures

Trump's FCC will soak net neutrality in gas and toss in a lit match

Narcissist in Chief recruits another anti-net-neut bod for US comms regulator

AWS CTO: 'I truly hated the relationship with software tool vendors'

AWS re:Invent Vogels channels his inner Ballmer with pitch to code monkeys

American supremacy, space, liability, funding, openness – AI gurus lay it all out to US senators

Analysis The race is on to be the best in the world

Finally. BlackBerry lobs out new BB10 OS update

BB to be 'a pure software company'

Soon only Ticketmaster will rip you off: Concert scalper bots face US ban

Senate, House pass law against automated tix snatch-and-resell

Europol cop took terror dossier home, flashed it to the web accidentally

Europe's FBI sheds light on security bungle

Cargo capsule goes AWOL, explodes on its way to Space Station

Suspected third-stage failure in Soyuz rocket, again

Renewed calls for Tesla to scrap Autopilot after number of crashes

Consumer Watchdog fears it's all in the name

Still too much discretion when it comes to that 'terrorism' stuff, repeats David Anderson QC

2015 legislation review is laid before Parliament

Wearable eats wearable: Fitbit 'to buy Pebble' with a steal of a deal

Smartwatch pioneer looks set to call it a day

Brit upstart releases free air traffic app for drone operators

'Roger, drone 04957, vector 45 at 300 feet...'

Amazonian Athena gifts the AWS team with the wisdom of SaaS on PaaS

Business is Redshifting itself into analytics queries

Hull surfers cut off by router attack

Routers scooted, says KCOM

RAF Club members emailed fake invoices. Has it been hacked?

Military personnel's social centre scratches its head

Sky: Stuff your quad play – customers want separate bills

Media titan's radical idea for mobile network

NVMe too brigade update: DDN sees limited appeal in NVMe fabrics

Interview The drives? For sure

Eugene Kaspersky is now personally defending your feet

Securing you from head to toe! Wait... what?

Samsung share plummets – but it’s not because of the Burning Note

It's pulling out of cheapies

Post-IPO Pure doing all right, says NVMe is the new flash

Four words: Stand-alone storage. Kerching

Still running a data centre designed by your grandad?

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