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Roy Lichtenstein Wham! Bang!

Kaminario playing 3D flash chippery doo-dah with its arrays

Interview Now it's just looking for a little TLC

USPTO_seal

SanDisk, Netlist heading to court as patent problems continue

Case accuses Smart Modular business unit of infringement shenanigans

Taxi Driver

UberPop granted temporary reprieve in France

Guillotine still primed, however

MIT's entanglement machine

Atomic clocks' ticks tamed by 3,000 entangled atoms

Boffins break record for entanglement with mirrors and lasers

Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

We already saw your infrared ‘signature’ suckers!

GLOWING TAMPONS hold the key to ending pollution

Uni research team finds new way of tracing wonky sewer connections

Tidal music launch: Pop plutocrats pour FLAC on rival Spotify

Like a sort of United Artists thing, but for music?

SanDisk, Netlist heading to court as patent problems continue

Case accuses Smart Modular business unit of infringement shenanigans

Chief architect Beepy ready to take Pure’s flash somewhere new

Flash array rumour mill working overtime

UberPop granted temporary reprieve in France

Guillotine still primed, however

Kaminario playing 3D flash chippery doo-dah with its arrays

Interview Now it's just looking for a little TLC

Huawei bellows big revenue jump thanks to brisk 2014 phone sales

Chinese vendor's profit up 33%

Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

We already saw your infrared ‘signature’ suckers!

Microsoft update mayhem delays German basketball game, costs team dear

17 minutes waiting proved to be just a bit too long

CIOs: What tech will be running your organisation in 2020?

Join our roundtable on April 22 and write a future CIO Manifesto

Oracle boat picks up ex-HP hardware man Donatelli

Could be joining former colleague Mark Hurd on board

Snakes on a backplane: Server-room cabling horrors

Twisted Pair – Part 2 Unwired planet? Get real

El Reg lays claws on RockBLOCK Mk2 Iridium sat comms unit

Heads up And we have one to give away

EU digi-chief clashes with robo-veep over geo-blocking

Commissioners out of step on copyright reform, digital single market

Think server vulns are IT's problem? Think again

Don't get caught with your cyber pants down

Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

It’s all the tech firms' fault!

Managed services biz Claranet adds £107m to war chest

Founder hints more acquisitions could be on the cards

Big Blue to give car insurers IoT peeking powers

New US$3bn business unit promises connected cloudy capers

Wearables market action is all in the wrist says market-scryer IDC

Tech specs aren't going to make it and the wearables market is smaller than PCs

Ebay snuffs malware upload bug

Flaw let crims sling drive-by-downloads

Secret Bezos delivery helicopters operate from mystery Canadian base to evade US regulators

Watch the Skies for the BLACK DRONES, eh

Periscope smeared by streaming security SNAFU

Live vid titles leak from Twitter's new app for the Bong! crowd

Pre-Snowden NSA grunts wanted to nix phone spying: report

Memo seen by managers, but not top dog

SoftLayer and Telstra in cloudy embrace

Today Australia, tomorrow THE WORLD! Maybe

Prostrate yourself before the GNU, commands Indian DEITY

India issues policy mandating open source software for government

Google plans ROBOTS to SLICE YOU OPEN AND CUT YOU UP

Chocolate Factory signs robo-surgeon development deal with Johnson & Johnson

How much did T-Mobile US make from that failed AT&T buyout? How about $7.7bn

Stop grumbling about the auction, John. You cleaned up

AMD opens kimono on chip futures a little more

A 200-300W HPC GPU by 2017? Tell us more

Cisco wipes its memory from susceptible-to-Row Hammer list

Make sure you use only original spares …

Day FOUR of the GitHub web assault: Activists point fingers at 'China's global censorship'

Code repository warns of 'evolving' attacks

Anti-gay Indiana starts backtracking on hated law after tech pressure

Angie's List joins Pivotal, Apple, Salesforce and others in threatening economic sanctions

Sony snags Spotify for streaming music to Playstation gamers

Pogo as you play

Microsoft's Project Spartan browser is HERE (unless you build apps or run VMs, that is)

Devs might be wise to skip latest Windows 10 build

Feds cuffed for allegedly PILFERING Silk Road drug souk's Bitcoins

Dealers' funbux ended up in wallets of g-men, says US DoJ

Motorola Mobility loses another patent suit to über-troll Intellectual Ventures

'That docking station? Yeah, we own that'

Why Feed.Me.Pizza will never exist: Inside the world of government vetoes and the internet

Goodbye, bana.na.club, plus many more weird combinations

Google cloud addicts: Now you can juggle your web apps from your Android smartie

Devs with iPhones will have to wait

Microsoft: Office 365 IT admins get free device-wrangling controls

Selective access, remote wipe, and more ... up to a point

NASA to take MARTIAN FLYING SAUCER for a spin

Vid Low-Density Supersonic Decelerator test live

Blokes disguised as women storm NSA HQ: One shot dead, one hurt

Fort Meade scene of bizarre and fatal Monday morning

Pure CEO dons cheerleader outfit, harangues world, dog

Bangs drum, makes song and dance about annual performance

Vodafone wants to bonk you… wait, wants you to bonk

Look at our operator-favouring Single Wire Protocol

One day all this could be yours: Be Facebook, without being Facebook

The pros and cons of Open Compute

Virgin Media takes its time on website crypto upgrade

Firefox and Chrome wave red flags at ISP

Outsourcery still losing as much as it turns over

Another round of funding coming to a cloud biz near you

Police ICT Company finally lurches off the ground

Fill your boots guys as it could be scrapped after the election

Going strictly hands-off: Managing your data centre from afar

Techniques for saving your sanity, and your job

Ofcom's to-do list: Number porting, sell spectrum, buy milk

MVNO issues also pretty important, says specialist lawyers DLA Piper

Don't listen to me, I don't know what I'm talking about – a pundit speaks

Storagebod What the puck is going on?

Just WALK IN and buy an Apple Watch. Are you mad?

Follow these few simple steps, and wait a while

Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder

Hey, Nest Thermostats! ‘Spring forward, Fall back’

Huawei networking kit gets the green light from Blighty's spooks

All above board, concludes board

Apple's 13-incher will STILL cost you a bomb: MacBook Air 2015

Review It may pine for the fjörds, but it's not snuffed it yet

Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills

Institute of Directors warns against giganto UK.gov cock-up

David Cameron's Passport number emailed to footy-head

Outlook autocomplete SNAFU sees world leaders' particulars leaked during G20 summit

Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge in Vulture's claws: we find looks AND brains

FIRST LOOK S6 Edge cuts corners in the best possible way

Unlimited stolen Uber accounts flogged for $5

Accounts 100 per cent valid, fraudsters claim

UN inflicts 10,000 flat pack IKEA shelters on Iraq - WITHOUT TOOLS

Haven't those poor souls suffered enough, you fiends?

EMC and Cloudera withdraw from Indiana big data event

Execs issue weekend Tweets objecting to religious freedom law

Jailed Brit con phishes prison, gets bail

'Hi this is < name > please release < prisoner >'

Short circuit at Large Hadron Collider slows return to matter-mauling

CERN boffins hope high-pressure helium will chill out their problems

Atomic clocks' ticks tamed by 3,000 entangled atoms

Boffins break record for entanglement with mirrors and lasers

Apple is like HITLER says Chinese billionaire

Android, however, is a beacon of freedom and openness

Accedian goes hybrid NFV in carrier QoS product

Virtualises CPE to cut deployment cost

Opportunity suffers another flash-memory 'amnesia' moment

Rover's didn't lose data, Mars boffins 'disappointed' but not surprised at memory glitch

AWS flicks switch for cloud storage replication

Double the redundancy, double the bills

Affirmative wrist action: Pebble Time raises 20 MEELLION BUCKS on Kickstarter

78k backers chuck tons of cash at colour-screen smartwatch

Frayed British Airways plays down mega hack attack on frequent flyer accounts

In-a-pickle firm insists personal info is safe after breach

Dino-boffins discover ancient, TOOTHY-CLAWED, four-eyed MONSTER LOBSTER

508 million-year-old predator unearthed

Yahoo! and! Microsoft! extend! tricky! search! deal! talks! by! 30! days!

Can Redmond and the Purple Palace continue to hang tough?

'If people can encrypt their cell phones, what's stopping them encrypting their PCs?'

QuoTW Plus: Tim Cook is the pebble in the pond

Google turns creepy, predictive search tech up to 11 in Chrome OS beta

Launcher 2.0 to be released within days

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults

Film Review Hey, you guys! This one's a 1980s' truffle shuffle just for the kids

Coral Reefs: Secret Cities of the Sea exhibition – life beneath the waves

Review Take a dive at the Natural History Museum

Honda CR-V: SUV-lite that’s also light on the pocket

Vulture at the Wheel Works well on tarmac – just remember to keep it there

Building a better society from the Czechs' version of Meccano

Worstall @ the Weekend And a tale of international intellectual property piracy

Microsoft's Windows 10 build list snowballs for Lumia mobes

WARNING: Coders are still stitching together partition stitching code

Easy come, easy go: Euro astroboffins blast brace of Galileo sats INTO SPAAACE

Look up to the skies and see

$23m to a WordPress biz? Why top-end hosting is big money

Analysis VC North Bridge explains its investment

Exercising with chocolate: Festival and tours galore

Gorge your way to fitness this weekend

Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

Analysis But why should we care what rich execs think?

Street Culture: Reg man's snazzy snaps of punky London go on display

Captures capital's sharp, stylish side from 1976 to 1988

Blood Relatives, The Tears of the Rajas and The Fifth Gospel

Page File Ian Caldwell finds religion (again) and more

Dot-sucks sucks, say lawyers: ICANN urged to kill 'shakedown' now

Trademark briefs complain of 'predatory, exploitative and coercive practices'

Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Oh, you're one of them there racists, are you?

To BALDLY GO where few have gone before: NASA 'naut twin to spend YEAR IN SPAACE

Pic + vid Study will pave the way for mission to Mars

Hotel Wi-Fi not only hideously expensive – it's horribly insecure

Wide-open rsync blunder leaves popular gateways vulnerable to hijacking

Chip rumor-gasm: Intel to buy Altera! Samsung to buy AMD! ... or not

One way to boost your share price by 28 per cent

FCC supremo slams big cable in gridiron Robin Hood metaphor mash-up

Net neutrality It's net neutrality, I'm Buckeye, they're Little John, is that all clear?

Flak for Slack chaps in yak app hack flap: User database whacked

Enable two-factor auth, says biz chat startup

Appeal court bombshell: Google must face British justice for 'Safari spying'

Angry Apple users get their shot at licking the Chocolate Factory

Did we just wake up in an alternate universe? BlackBerry turns a profit

Back in Black, but one fair quarter does not a turnaround make

In-depth: Supermicro's youngest Twin is a real silent ice maiden

Sysadmin blog Don't look now, folks, Trevor's in luuurve

GitHub jammed by injected JavaScript, servers whacked by DDoS

Users unwittingly add to chronic traffic congestion

Red Hat explains its choice of scale-out storage hats

Ceph and Gluster – not a cabaret double act after all

All the flash world needs is more TLC, suggests report

Using it in the iPhone6 turned the supply trickle into a flood

VMware channel confirms price hikes from next month

vSphere to rise by 7% and all the rest by 4-5%

BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Episode 4 Swapsies? Oh go on. Go oooooonnnnn

Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

Comment There's a flaw in your plan, Kommissar Ansip

Home Office awards Raytheon £150m over e-borders cancellation

Department has handed over a total of £185m to extract itself from the deal

Everyone's getting flashy: Intel and Micron want to feed you their wafers

And SanDisk's getting in on the action too

Euro THERMONUCLEAR REACTOR PROJECT is in TROUBLE

EU Parliament sends scientists snottogram over funding woes

El Reg uncages its truly demonic BOFH t-shirt

Classic Bastard Operator apparel back at Cash'n'Carrion

Voda UK CEO says one thing about not-spots, Minister of Fun says another

Gov, biz duke it out over coverage and licensing plans

John Lewis stakes £100,000 on building a working tech creche

Come hither, Shoreditch upstarts

Google dangles $70m before new CFO to lure her from Wall Street

Ruth Porat now swimming in castrated shares

ZTE's stealthy Nubia: China-made Google-free Android mobe

Hands On Free-range ninja phone proves compelling but unusual

Tim Cook: I'll give just a THIRD of what Gates gave to charity last year

Apple CEO to flex financial muscles in the name of 'charidee'

The hyper-collapsed data centre: Vapor IO's all-in-one info chamber

Contain your data in a micro-embedded tube of smartness

HTC One M9 Android smartphone: Like a M8 with a squinty eye

Review Design of the times

'Why don't you buy from foreign sites?' asks Commish, snapping on the gloves

Competition Commissioner announces e-commerce probe

Microsoft and Oracle are 'not your trusted friends', public sector bods

Local gov and unis hit with costs for being 'under-licensed'

SanDisk slashes sales outlook as growth shudders to a stop

Firm expects revenues down by 14 per cent from last year

Labour has a pop at the government over missed GDS targets

Also criticises big project IT write-offs. In other news: Pot in kitchen racism scandal

What is HPC actually good for? Just you wait and see

Technology, if not money, does trickle down to your children

Vodafone: So what exactly is 'ludicrous' about the Frontier report?

BT: You heard what we said about Openreach. Leave it

Europe drags, as Accenture posts steady growth

Outsourcing giant sees 13 per cent North American increase

Satnav launches are like buses: none for ages then three arrive at once

Two Galileo launches tonight, new GPS bird went up on Wednesday

Surface Pro 3 update has so much new stuff for sysadmins, we can't fit it all in one headline

Isn't it time for the pub?

700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Weight loss scam used oodles of accounts to get the clueless shelling out for useless beans

Bongfire of Inanity: Jakarta rozzers enforce mass chill-out

Pizza consumption and short-term friendships rise

VMware tells partners, punters, to pay higher prices (probably)

Purported price hike starts April 1, and that's no joke

LOOK OUT, Brits – is that a Facebook LASER-GUN drone above us?

F8 2015 Zuckerberg's comms cruisers tested in UK skies

Microsoft performs reverse full-hybrid with an on-premises twist

Azure can now backup and run VMware VMs, send own VMs to on-premises storage

Court recording biz with clients EVERYWHERE has forums breached

Transcripts untouched thanks to forum and user password mismatch

Google botches another cloud patch, this time messing up App Engine

Not a lot of problems, but third fluff in a few weeks is not a good look

Hey, you just picked up a Solidfire flash box? Dude, you bought a Dell

The headline kinda works. Look, it's Friday. Texas giant touts upstart's solid-state wares

'Bar Mitzvah attack' should see off ancient and crocked RC4 algo

Account creds knicked without need for man-in-the-middle diddle

Puppet Labs pulls strings on Docker, AWS and bare metal

Devops without downtime

Bye bye, booth babes. IT security catwalk RSA nixes sexy outfits

Wouldn't wear it in the CEO's office? Don't wear it on the show floor

By Odin, Parallels thinks cloud service providers should buy Odin

Virty vendor's automation biz ascends to Valhalla

This just in from our Chief SATA Officer: Tintri trio takes off to mystery startup

Read this, and you're our Chief Article Participation Officer

Silicon Valley powers: Let mass spying die in May 2015 – it's bad for privacy (and business)

Citizens' personal information is all OURS, say tech giants

Want a full-blown IDE for Node.js? You'll need a Windows machine...

New tools for Visual Studio tackle server-side JavaScript

Win some, lose some: Motorola 1, patent troll 1

Jury backs Intellectual Ventures on one of two infringement claims against Moto's phones

I see you have the gTLD that goes .ping!

$1.9m spent in latest internet domain auctions

Hey, Microsoft, we can call Windows 10 apps anything we like – you're NOT OUR REAL MOM

Diagasm Banned by Redmond: Universal, Metro

Amazon cloud threatens to SMASH the fundamental laws of PHYSICS

Infinite capacity in a finite universe? Challenge accepted, says Bezos

Light the lanterns people, Acer made a profit in 2014

Finally, an end to the three years of consecutive losses

Facebook sued: Data center designs 'nicked' for Open Compute

Brit biz BladeRoom wants damages and its legal bill paid off

50 BILLION devices: The future that Juniper Networks wants to tap

Someone's kit needs to handle all that traffic

PayPal settles over WMD sanction-breaking transaction claims

Company pays $7.6m for money moves by people on OFAC's naughty step

Dutch Transport Inspectorate raid Uber's Amsterdam office

We told you, guys. Enough with the uberPOP already

Google promises Pointer Events support, with or without Apple

Chocolate Factory decides lack of support in Safari isn't a big deal after all

Hedvig all set to Google-ise that enterprise storage

You want configurable virtual pools of distributed silos. Who doesn't?

Watch out Wizard, Bezos wants the Emerald City for himself

Amazon Settling in Seattle

How tech bosses manage their teams for fun and profit

CIO Manifesto 'Whenever I hear the word culture I reach for my org chart...'

Does your broadband feel faster? Akamai says it went up 20 per cent*

* On average, globally

Part of CAP IT system may be scrapped after digital fail – MPs

Get claims right, or face pitchfork-wielding EU mob

Silent server monitoring: A neat little cure that doesn't kill the patient

Log analytics has come a long, long way

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