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Don Draper is Sad

Microsoft to offload online display ads biz to ... hang on, AOL?

10-year deal will see Redmond outsource adverts in major markets

Intel infosec folk TEE off open source app dev framework

World+dog can TEE off too, without spending megabucks

greece

Crowdfunded beg-a-thon to bail out Greece raises 0.003% of target

Scot-bashing Yorkshireman rapped over island sale offer

VPNs are so insecure you might as well wear a KICK ME sign

Brit boffins' test of 14 prominent privacy tunnels finds leaks galore thanks to IPv6 mess

Jaws on Blu-ray disc

Cunning goldfish avoided predator in tank for seven years

Entered as a snack, but drew inspiration from Gloria Gaynor

The Great Windows Server 2003 migration: Where do we go from here?

Pick the right path

How do we train the next generation of data centre wranglers?

First, train the current generation

Crowdfunded beg-a-thon to bail out Greece raises 0.003% of target

Scot-bashing Yorkshireman rapped over island sale offer

Intel infosec folk TEE off open source app dev framework

World+dog can TEE off too, without spending megabucks

Surging US dollar curbs global IT budgets

5.5% fall masks increased activity, says Gartner

The all-flash market will just about double in five years, says Gartner

Six fun-packed flash factoids from financial fellow

BBC veterans require skilled hands to massage their innards

TNMOC asks for help maintaining its fleet of Beeb Micros

No more customisation? Cloud Security Alliance calls for Open APIs

Vendors press-ganged into working group service

EU pops a CAP – and net neutrality – into mobile roaming charges

Dead-of-night deal foresees abolition of fees from 2017

Lobbynomics: The EU’s digital dossier that doesn't add up

Analysis Letting Silicon Valley lift all your content is GOOD for your economy

Generous EU Commish gives Google SIX MORE WEEKS to respond to antitrust charges

Chocolate Factory nearly ready (we assume)

Revive the Nathan Barley Quango – former Downing Street wonk

Does Welfare for W**kers sound familiar? That's because it is

Does your company really need all that storage?

How to get the best performance

VPNs are so insecure you might as well wear a KICK ME sign

Brit boffins' test of 14 prominent privacy tunnels finds leaks galore thanks to IPv6 mess

Cunning goldfish avoided predator in tank for seven years

Entered as a snack, but drew inspiration from Gloria Gaynor

Government statistics bureau drops big data bubble-buster

Mindless mash-ups and hardware upgrades do not better governance make

Why SpaceX will sort out Sunday's snafu faster than NASA ever could

Analysis Second stage flaw fingered for fireworks

Wallet wafting into the Cloud? Amazon hears your pain

Launches tools to forestall surprises

Hide the HUD, say boffins, they're bad for driver safety

Cars are not the place for augmented reality

Audit finds new flaw at US Office of Personnel Management

TEN MILLION people now counted as victims of original GovSec SNAFU

Devs, welcome your EVIL ROBOT OVERLORDS from MIT

This ONE WEIRD TRICK turns developers into rioting LUDDITES

VMworld content catalog hints at VSAN upgrade

VSAN getting closer to real SANs, desktop hypervisors to grow up at virtugabfests

OpenDaylight's Hydrogen begets Helium begets Lithium

Release three of SDN tool aims for carrier-land

Amazon douses Fire phone man-in-the-middle diddle

Fire owners (both of you) should patch sooner rather than later

Microsoft to offload online display ads biz to ... hang on, AOL?

10-year deal will see Redmond outsource adverts in major markets

WikiLeaks docs show NSA's 10-year economic espionage campaign against France

Details of every business deal over $200m slurped

Microsoft to release Visual Studio 2015 ahead of Windows 10

The question: how much new stuff will still be in preview?

Microsoft Uber-alles: Bing staffers driven to dial-a-car developer

Redmond offloads mapping outfit to San Francisco auto-pusher

Supreme Court ignores Google's whinging in Java copyright suit

Sound of Larry Ellison rubbing his hands heard all the way in Mountain View

Chap slapped in Dogecoin crap app flap

Much FTC! Very mislead! Such settlement!

Rogue IT is shadow of its former self

We are all partners now, CompTIA study reveals

US police to throw big balls in criminals' faces

Video Bounce cameras map out dodgy situations

Apple's mystery auto project siphoning staff from other divisions

Cook and Co still want to take to the roads – but how?

Apple Music available on Sonos by end of this year

No word yet if they'll go all the way up to eleven

French Uber bosses talk to Le Plod over 'illicit activity' allegations

Euro nation targets not-a-taxi-firm-honest's chiefs

Google harms consumers and strangles the open web, study says

Plurality? Diversity?

Leap second boffins to fiddle with the FABRIC of TIME

Tuesday might – but probably won't – bork everyone's clouds

Linux bids for UAV world domination by enslaving future skybot army

Dronecode initiative gains momentum

The Great Windows Server 2003 migration: How to plan your trip

Making the most of your end-of-life experience

We’re in bed together, admit Intel Security, Trend Micro and NCA

Infosec firms confirm they're dating – but not exclusively

China's best phone yet: Huawei P8 5.2-inch money-saving Android smartie

Review Sleepless in South Korea

HP one of the fairest, claims Gartner's magic quadrant on the wall

Dell, HDS non-inclusion could be seen as a distortion

'Private' biz Xiaomi sets up Communist Party exec committee

It's 'almost unheard of for the party to hinder the private sector', so shut up

Tech Mahindra posts profit warning: The end for Indian outsourcing?

‘Seasonally weak’ mobility business to blame

Sky bangs on Ofcom's door – demands BT competition probe

But former state monopoly claims Openreach split would harm UK market

Ofcom: We need 5G spectrum planning for the future’s ultramobes

We’ll just have to make decisions based on ‘imperfect knowledge’

Windows 10 Mobile is shaping up nicely – now Cortana can send emails

Microsoft's next phone OS looks to be in better shape than the PC version

Ditching political Elop makes for a more Nadella Microsoft

Comment Getting the Redmond you need?

Smart meters set to cost Blighty as much as replacing Trident

'Significant issues already exist' with spybox tech, too

Is that a FAT PIPE or are you just pleased to stream me? TERABIT fibre tested

Trials conducted over a 1,000km long link

Github's 'Atom' text editor hits version 1.0

Emacs' self-appointed heir heads out into the world

Windows 10 is due in one month: Will it be ready?

Analysis It's do-or-die for Microsoft's new operating system on 29 July

Sophos' putrid patch snuffs Citrix kit, kills call centre

Web appliance update can't be rolled back, takes portal down for 48 hours

Giant male member spontaneously ejaculates over Norway

Man shoots glittery seed indiscriminately on unsuspecting public for charity

Microsoft says Oculus Rift distorts world, grinds corrective lenses

Free-to-download CAD file makes for better virtu-blinker goggles, insists Redmond

Android's sun sets on Eclipse

Devs told to move to Android Studio

Turnbullnomics trashed as Oz regulator cuts telecoms prices

Order for 9.6 per cent cut in wholesale prices is BAD NEWS according to comms minister

VMware, Microsoft in virtualised Exchange blog battle

Virtzilla accuses Redmond of requiring silos and running a dicky calculator

Cloud storage is a three-way race with no contenders

AWS, Google and Azure in front, but archiving not core workloads are the sweet spot

Ransomware slinging exploit kit targets Flash remote code execution

CVE-2015-3113: Patch or pay.

Guest-host escape bug sees Xen project urge rapid upgrade

Xen hypervisor v.4.5.1 offers over 100 fixes and improvements

Blackhats using mystery Magento card stealers

eBay shop platform targeted

LG's six-sided battery to take smart watches into new timezones

We can rebuild it. We have the technology. We can make batteries better, stronger, faster

Australian government demands signoff on telco network designs

Attorney-general wants to be ultimate network admin - what could possibly go wrong?

Boffins set networking record with marathon 12,000 km fiber data run

Look, ma, no repeaters – but we can still decipher the info. Huzzah!

KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

Updated Champagne in certain offices tonight

Apple workforce touch up iPhones with Force Touch tech – report

Cupertino under pressure to finger finger pressure in '6S'?

'Please, choose to be a good citizen and DON’T ask Siri about 9/11'

QuoTW Plus: Capita has had enough of you moochers bringing in your own spoons

Q: What's black and white and read all over? A: E-reader displays

Feature Evolving e-books and the holy grail of colour e-paper

Why OH WHY did Blighty privatise EVERYTHING?

Worstall @ the Weekend Rampant free marketeer 'not actually mad'

Robo-car wars: Delphi's near crash, prang, wallop with Google DENIED!

'Nah, they didn't even come close to each other'

So much for rainbows, Zuck: Facebook staff still overwhelmingly male and white

Latest diversity report shows little change at Menlo Park

Subaru Outback Lineartronic: The thinking person’s 4x4

Vulture at the Wheel Refined and capable, but useless for driving into walls

Mobe encryption guru Charles Brookson picks up OBE from the Queen

Gong for steering engineers through call crypto algos

That man told me to stuff a ROLE up my USER ENTRY!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Don’t get feudal with me, sunshine

Who wants a classic ThinkPad with whizzy new hardware? Lenovo would just love to know

First shove the chiclet keyboard where the sun doesn't shine

Bloke called Rod struck by lightning for second time

Has he thought about changing his name?

Samsung vows to stop knackering Windows Update on your laptops

'We'll do that with an update for our software updater,' says Sammy

Space station cabbage: To boldly grow where no veg has grown before

Vid SpaceX to supply ISS with rabbit food plus that science kit stuff

Apple's iPhone 7 to come loaded with depth-sensing camera, supply chain spies claim

Look into my eyes, look into my eyes ... It's all about focus

Network Solutions' 30-day refund has a catch: It'll keep up to 30%

Watchdog tuts at website hosting biz

Micron fires off some in-memory flash data rockets

Comment New unit will go beyond selling chips and standard components

Google helps Brit crims polish their image – but what about the innocent

Comment 'Perpetual global humiliation' is our biz. Don’t get in our way

Microsoft's curious Sway comes to iPad and iPhone

Windows 10 app to follow soon

Gates: Renewable energy can't do the job. Gov should switch green subsidies into R&D

'Only way to a positive scenario is innovation'

Hated Care.data scheme now 'unachievable', howls UK.gov watchdog

Project is one of four so bad it's easier to flush the money down the toiilet

OPM data breach: Looking at you, China! National Intelligence head stares out Beijing

You've gotta hand it to 'em, says Clapper

Layoff-happy Capita charges staff to use cutlery in canteens

It's almost as if they WANT people to leave

GM's cheaper-than-Tesla 'leccy car tested at batt-powered data centre

Drove my Chevy to the levee servers because its storage capacity was high

Sophos: We'll have a market cap of £1bn when we IPO

Investors can grab a piece of hot security real estate from July 1

Humongous headsets and virtual insanity

Breaking Fad VR goggles can give a great experience, but are they stuck in a niche?

Abort, abort! Metal-on-metal VIOLENCE as Google's robo-car nearly CRASHES

Turf dispute between auto autos turns into road rage incident

BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

Episode 8 Please refer to the procedures, I like things just the way they are

GCHQ heard you liked spying, so spied on itself spying on you

Privacy violations in spy-on-spy spying just human error, says intelligence commish

It's sales boom time for (some) converged infrastructure vendors

Integrate all the things!

Cambridge boffins: STOP the rush to 5G. We just don't need it

+Poll Building 4G coverage should be the priority, not yet another standard

Warning flags were raised over GDS farm payments system – yet it still failed

Maybe they shouldn't be trusted with complex systems

Micron blames dismal PC sales for EVERYTHING

But biz thinks 3D NAND will sell like hot cakes and fix all the financial badness

Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

CEO sugar-coats the medicine for Nokia phone biz

UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year

Annual Report still makes for ‘encouraging reading’ though

Bitcoin, schmitcoin. Let's play piggyback on the blockchain

Cryptocash isn't cool any more – and its core mechanism is being hijacked

GCHQ's cyberspooks had Nudge Unit envy – leak

Get 'em to a TED Talk, trickcyclist urged. They need neurobabble

Google IS listening: Binary blob banished from Chromium build

Simply no place for closed-source components, sorry

Rivalry heats up as VXers bake Fobber crypto clobber

Hop, skip, and headache.

We forget NOTHING, the Beeb thunders at Europe

Here are the pages dropped into Google's 'memory hole'

Google creates cloud code cache

Chocolate Factory wants to be your GitHub, eventually

Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

The IANA Lady's not for turning

Vegan eats BeEf, gets hooked

Bad taste still lingers

Apple wants to patent iBeacon stalking

'Find a friend', what could possibly go wrong?

That shot you heard? SSLv3 is now DEAD

It's joined the choir invisible

Facebook! exfiltrates! Yahoo! security! boss!

Uber pickup fills Menlo gap

MAC address privacy inches towards standardisation

IEEE hums along to IETF anti-surveillance tune

Win the business services race with run-book automation

Stay ahead of demand

Google takes latest self-driving buggies to the streets

Relax, Mountain View, they'll have drivers… for now

Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS

Nadella's latest mega-memo has Redmond transforming the WORLD

SpaceX to blast Microsoft's HoloLens visors into SPAAAAACE

To boldly go where no augmented reality has gone before

FCC boss Wheeler: Shove off, big dogs – let the small telcos play

Wireless carriers may not be able to exploit subsidiary loophole

Apple apes Microsoft with iPhone BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

Fanbois on T-Mobile US confounded by mystery crashes

Cisco in single SSH key security stuff-up

Patch NOW, people

ICANN's leaving the nest, so when will it grow up?

Comment The org that will run the internet still acts like a teenager

Apple pulls Civil War games in Confederate flag takedown

App Store nixes banner amidst controversy over symbolism

Hey devs. Forget Siri – Amazon's Alexa will show you a $100m good time

Online bazaar provides APIs and SDK for voice assistant

Yahoo! displaces Ask in Oracle's Java update crapware parade

Desperate tactics from the Purple Palace

Hi-res audio folk to introduce new rules and weed out impure noises

Inaudible or ineffable? Industry bods address 'misperceptions'

Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

How will you stop us, Frenchies! Mmm, with baseball bats

Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

Voluntary redundo for staff managing O2 clients

BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?

Deregulate! But let us keep all the hardware, of course

US SaaS firm bows to Snowden concerns with UK-based datacentre

Clarizen sets Euro customers' minds at rest

Dell cooks up cloud recipes with Microsoft, VMware and OpenStack

Would you like a sprinkling of finance on that, sir?

SCC: Look at our bulging figure(s). We're fatter than some MSPs

Ignore crashing product sales, that was planned... honest

As the US realises it's been PWNED, when will OPM heads roll?

‘Most devastating cyber attack in US history’

'Backronym' crowdfunds itself into Oxford English Dictionary

Reg favourite joins 'meh', 'twerk' and 'yarnstorm' in bulging lexicon

Beyond the Grave: US Navy pays peanuts for Windows XP support

It's $9m a year - whatever

Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering

Torygraph skiing correspondent spun by wild Facebook lawsuit claims

UN corruption cops commence probe into domain-name and patent body WIPO

Worry Gurry, super scurry, call the troops out in a hurry

FeedHenry now Red Hat Mobile App Platform, gets OpenShift cloud integration

Red Hat Summit Company makes play for mobile app devs

Will a datacentre be driving your car in 12 years' time?

Keep your hands off the wheel, sir

Bank of England CIO: ‘Beware of the cloud, beware of vendors’

Old Lady grumbles about new thingy

In search of an easier life: Do IT converged systems fit the bill?

Automation for the Common (Sysadmin) People

GoFundMe shows users how it's done, cashes in with $600m valuation

Convincing people to give money to other people is a lucrative business

Google meets more EU apparatchiks than anyone else in Brussels

It's lobby central as the Chocolate Factory leans on the lawmakers

Shadow of the Beast: Amiga classic returns from the darkness

Antique Code Show 16-bit showcase game that was just too tough to be fun

Pure's mass disk drive killer lays out plans for flash hegemony

Comment All-flash array pusher is agin' retainin' rusty rotators

Get your WELLIES to MARS: Red Planet reveals its FROZEN BOTTOM

Scarlet globe was covered in water 500,000 years ago

Dyre banking VXers LOVE Mondays, Symantec says

Hard-working scum maintain 285 command and control servers

BlackShades privacy raiding web rat gets five years in US cooler

US says remote access trojan had thousands of victims

We need to know about the Internet of Things, say US Senators

Your TV is your enemy, says Eugene Kaspersky

Flushed with success: No bog standard Canadian goldfish these

Well, at least they’re not alligators, eh

OOH, it's so HOT in here! All my ATMOSPHERE is coming off

Red dwarf's emissions strip away exoplanet's coverings

How should you manage your network's traffic performance?

On Demand Getting the internet to demonstrate

Are you clever enough, and brave enough, to give a Register lecture

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