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IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

On-Call Saintly clients fled investment firm after workers revealed hellish smut mountain

Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed

Stob Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?

My hole is a private thing – see for yourself

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I am guilty of too much clouded thinking

Mike Pompeo

CIA boss: Make America (a) great (big database of surveillance on citizens, foreigners) again!

New spymaster Pompeo ponders massive metadata collection, death for Snowden

An angry mob

Rap for crap WhatsApp trap flap: Yack yack app claptrap slapped

Security gurus condemn sensational reporting of encryption backdoor-that-wasn't

Stallman's Free Software Foundation says we need a free phone OS

Because that worked so well for Firefox OS, and Ubuntu Touch, and Sailfish, and Tizen …

Samsung set a fire under battery-makers to make the Galaxy Note 7 flaming brilliant

Claims phablet was phine, but bad manufacturing short-circuited battery quality

Symantec carpeted over dodgy certificates, again

You had one job ... and it wasn't letting test certs escape into the wild and then revoking them

Mozilla wants infosec activism to be the next green movement

Chief Mozillan calls for grass roots movement akin to 1960s' environmental awakenings

Happy Monday, Juniper admins: get patching

Gin Palace plugs Junos DoS bugs

Boffins ready to demo 1.44 petabit-per-second fibre cables

We can either build more submarine cables or more efficient submarine cables

Building IoT London: Last chance to catch Early Bird Tix

Don't learn about IoT, learn how to do IoT

Learn to code site Code.org loses student work due to index bug

Cracks limit of 32-bit table size without realising it. Back to the books, guys?

Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Asteroid 391257 is now Asteroid Will Wheaton

One BEEELLION dollars: Apple sues Qualcomm, one of its chip designers

Snapdragon biz's bad week just got worse

Chinese investors gobble up owner of PCWorld, Macworld etc

IDG into the hands of the Middle Kingdom – except its HPC bit

350,000 Twitter bot sleeper cell betrayed by love of Star Wars and Windows Phone

Computer researchers uncover yuuuge dormant army

Chevy Bolt electric car came alive, reversed into my workbench, says stunned bloke

Self-driving ride take on a whole new meaning

CIA boss: Make America (a) great (big database of surveillance on citizens, foreigners) again!

New spymaster Pompeo ponders massive metadata collection, death for Snowden

Welcome to the Wipe House: President Trump shreds climate change, privacy, LGBT policies on WhiteHouse.gov

We're gonna have the best 404s! The greatest 404s!

Rap for crap WhatsApp trap flap: Yack yack app claptrap slapped

Security gurus condemn sensational reporting of encryption backdoor-that-wasn't

General Electrics plays down industrial control plant vulnerabilities

Only a local hacker in a facility would be able to run an attack

IBM is letting storage hardware revenues slip gently off into the night

Analysis Benign neglect, managed decline, whatever

Trump's 'cyber tsar' Giuliani among creds leaked in mass hacks

We've got four more years, people

XIV goes way of the dinosaurs as IBM nixes fourth-gen storage array

Incoming FlashSystem A9000 with 3D TLC makes it obsolete

Sigfox veep: Our gear will be less pricey than kit for NB-IoT customers

As for that fabled IPO? May happen 'when market is right'

All the cool kids are doing it – BT hikes broadband and TV bills

Move 'unjustified', says analyst

Elementary, my dear IBM: When will Watson make money?

Big Blue talks 'silver threads'

Lords slam 'untrammelled' data sharing powers in Digital Economy Bill

'Deeply concerned' about possibility of sharing citizen info with companies

Chinese chip shop looks hot to trot as Tsinghua drops $30bn on factory

Largest fab in the Middle Kingdom to be surrounded by huge 'international city'

The rise, fall, and rise (again) of Microsoft's killer People feature

Here's what's in Build 15014

StorageCraft gobbles Exablox to become data management monolith

Analysis Data protection SW biz buys filer hardware startup

AWS offers $20 bribe to derps who buy old IoT condom-o-matic dunce dobbers

Internet of Things: Make ordering johnnies great again

Yet another committee gives UK.gov a lashing for digital strategy delay

It's so important they held a 'three-week consultation'... over the Christmas hols

DirecTV Now plagued with faults, but uptake not slowing

AT&T's streaming service only behind HBO's despite user complaints

Toshiba scrambles to start chip biz minority stake sale – reports

US nuclear power plant fiasco prompts fears of writedown

Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed

Stob Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?

My hole is a private thing – see for yourself

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I am guilty of too much clouded thinking

Unbreakable Locky ransomware is on the march again

Necrus botnet wakes up and starts fresh malware-cano

Apple, Amazon smash audiobook cabal after European pressure

EU antitrust bod nods in approval as another market opens up

Ain't no party like an 80-customer Cohesity party

Analysis Oh, bless

Fired Ofcom Remainer bod sues UK gov for withholding his payoff

Board member claims he was sacked for slamming Trump and Brexit

Shocking crime surge – THE TRUTH: England, Wales stats now include hacking and fraud

'More realistic picture' we're told

IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

On-Call Saintly clients fled investment firm after workers revealed hellish smut mountain

Facebook bans Russia's RT ahead of Trump's Inauguration Day (then changes its mind)

Breaking news, literally

Viral Chinese selfie app Meitu phones home with personal data

PIC Reg man submits self to invasive sparkly-unicorn androgyny transformation

What's SimpliVity CEO Doron Kempel and Arnie got in common? They'll both be back

Profile From the special forces to, um, HPE

Avaya files for bankruptcy

Decade-old capital structure needs a refresh for cloudier times

On last day as president, Obama's CIO shrouds future .gov websites in secret code

New .gov domains will only ever offer HTTPS, says US CIO

Mozillans call for new moz://a logo to actually work in browsers

LOGOWATCH Logo picked to represent internet roots just confuses the internet

Operator of DDoS protection service named as Mirai author

Krebs says he's fingered author of epic IoT web assault code

Big Blue's blues diffuse: IBM's sales drain now more like a sad trickle

Biz optimistic 2017 will see cloud and mobile help boost bottom line

Uber coughs up $20m after 'lying about how much its drivers make'

FTC settlement bars taxi app maker from publishing fiction about potential riches

Assange reverse-ferrets on promise to fly to US post-Manning clemency

WikiLeaker folds hand in pledge poker

SporeStack: Disposable, anonymous servers, via Bitcoin and Python

Code lets developers test applications without a hosting account

Ooops! One in three tech IPOs now trading below their starting price

The technical term for this, in the financial world, is: 'Boned'

Deadly Tesla smash probe: No recall needed, says Uncle Sam

Autopilot update cuts prangs by 40 per cent, we're told

Windows 10 networking bug derails Microsoft's own IPv6 rollout

No pressure, peeps: Techies are awaiting a fix from their Redmond coworkers

Wintel part deux? Microsoft Azure first for Intel Clear Linux

Stateless Linux data center released into the wilds

IBM, Microsoft, US Govt all to blame for globalisation backlash: Jack Ma

It's your own fault, Trump-friendly tycoon tells Davos

Oracle slurps enterprise cloud API wrangler Apiary

Time for REST... and it's only January

Cumulus Networks writes its name on a white box

Badge engineering to make open networking easier for newcomers

'Beeeellion-dollar' mastercrooks in hotel, restaurant blitzkrieg

Carbanak: It's not just a caramel-flavoured choc-trocity. It's also malware

NCC Group's profit hit by contract cancellations

UK security firm's chairman steps down

Lord of the Dance set to deliver high kicks at Trump’s big ball

Fearless Flatley flouts inauguration boycott

Korean boffins vow 1,000km-an-hour supertrain

Anything Elon can do…?

Google loses Android friends with Pixel exclusivity

Maybe it doesn't need friends? But it should worry about fragmenting Android further

Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

Whitehouse.gov down?

I'll have Fabric, Crashlytics... Google crams Twitter mobile dev tools in trolley

Keep yr Digits for now, fam ... we're good

Seduced by the Docker side: Microsoft's support could be first shot fired in the Container Wars

Peace, love and Docker or Kubernetes – you must choose

ProtonMail launches Tor hidden service to dodge totalitarian censorship

Known oppressive regimes including Egypt, and er... the UK? Oh, the IP Act is law...

Britain collects new naval tanker a mere 18 months late

Why? 'Umm, er, cable insulation standards,' mutters MoD

What's the biggest danger to the power grid? Hackers? Terrorists? Er, squirrels

Video Turns out Mother Nature is a killer for power and people

Zuck off: Facebook's big kahuna sues Hawaiians to kick 'em off their land

Stop us if you've heard this one before – billionaire fights to turf people out of private paradise

Linux is part of the IoT security problem, dev tells Linux conference

Does that 'thing' really need to run Linux, given alternatives have smaller attack surfaces?

Microsoft posts death notices for Windows 7 sysadmin certifications

They'll go in mid-2018. Does that support the 'too insecure for business' message?

Chrome dev explains how modern browsers make secure UI just about impossible

The 'LINE OF DEATH' between safe content and untrustworthy stuff is receding every year

NASA fires first shot in plan to bring a chunk of asteroid down to Earth

OSIRIS-REx completes initial big burn on the way to asteroid Bennu

Insecure Hadoop installs next in 'net scum crosshairs

Because MongoDB, Elasticsearch ransomware attacks are sooo last week

Meet 'Moz://a', AKA Mozilla after it picked a new logo

LOGOWATCH It woz El Reg wot done it - you picked this one last year

Adobe's naughty Chrome telemetry code had XSS problem

Since patched, but a bad look for Adobe when it can't even get snoopware right

Is Qualcomm price gouging phone makers? Not everyone thinks so

Analysis Dissenting FTC voice sees an Obamaesque assault on tech licensing

Silence is golden: How Google hunts Android malware in the wild

When mobes and gadgets stop verifying app installations, you're gonna have a bad time

Square Kilometre Array precursor shrinks 5TB of data to 22MB – every second!

Australia's Murchison radio telescope tells Reg how big astronomy 'destroys' big data

Uncle Sam sues Oracle for 'screwing over Asian, black and women staff'

Big Red threatened with government IT contract armageddon over pay gap

'Exploding e-cig cost me 7 teeth, burned my face – and broke my sink!'

NSFW pics 'Healthy' smoking puts American bloke in hospital

Google harvests school kids' web histories for ads, claims its Mississippi nemesis

M-I-S-S-I-sue-your-ass-you-creepy-spy

College fires IT admin, loses access to Google email, successfully sues IT admin for $250,000

Sacked techie claims school retaliated over race complaint

UK.gov departments are each clinging on to 100 terabytes of legacy data

Recreating old work to the tune of £500m per year

Inspur inspires DDN to be its HPC reseller

Sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G

UK, you Cray. Boffins flex ARM in 'first-of-its-kind' bonkers HPC rig

£3m granted for 'emerging architectures' supercomputing mashup

'Ancient' Mac backdoor discovered that targets medical research firms

More secure than PC? Ha!

Exclusive billionaires' investment club leads Collibra's $50m Series C

Belgian data governance business only loses a single board position too, sweet

Red Hat's OpenShift Container Platform openly shifts storage into the hands of devs

Dynamically allocate without an admin over your shoulder

Euro space agency's Galileo satellites stricken by mystery clock failures

One in eight have stopped, admits org's director general

Ooooh, that's NASty. Security-watchers warn over man-in-the-middle risk

Small flaws, but they add up

Hyperconvergered-ception: HPE swallows SimpliVity

Analysis Hyperconverges hyperconverger, thereby converging market

Blockchain: A digital 'golden section' that's the 'gestalt of its pieces'

Logowatch More adventures in fintech

Irish flash extender startup goes 3D

Navigator and Pathfinder beget Aviator

Japan's terrifying techno-toilets will be made foreigner friendly, vow makers

Hallelujah for the planned ISO symbol standard!

Speaking in Tech: Japan launches rocket with 2 laptops, 8 people

Podcast That'll end well...

Did somebody say object storage? 9 ways to tell if there's a point

Comment Tick 'em off, impress the boardroom

LTE-Broadcast has broad deployment models. What it doesn't have is the iPhone

Analysis Key to unlocking mega smartphone market

Jersey Telecom wheels out LoRa IoT network, says it's 'not ruling out' other techs

Interview Small island's big telco talks to El Reg

EE slapped with £2.7m fine by Ofcom

Some 40,000 customers were overcharged £250,000

El Reg drills into chatbot hype: The AIs that want to be your web butlers

Analysis So many things to solve, eg: how can there be conversation without memory?

Smart bombs, smart bullets – now guided smart artillery shells, thanks to DARPA dosh

US Navy ordnance contract goes Raytheon

Doctor AI: Good news, I'm better at predicting when you'll die of a heart attack. Bad news is...

You're still gonna die, probably

Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

Akatsuki probe finds huge thing lurking in planet's clouds

You know how online shops love to keep tabs on you? Now it's coming to the offline world

Intel taps IoT tech to gather stats on shoppers

Solaris 12 disappears from Oracle's roadmap

Instead we're getting version '11.next', 'SPARC.next' and a Big Red SPARC IaaS

Well, that sucks: China's Tencent so sorry after vid emerges of faux blowjob office game

Video Cloud giant's staff party leaves little to imagination

100 Gbps link to Europe lights up to delight researchers

AEConnect cable expands university research networking

IPv6 vulnerable to fragmentation attacks that threaten core internet routers

Net boffins float RFC to fix the protocol before things turn nasty

Hacker cracks Facebook with remote code execution bug

ImageMagick exploit earns chap US$40k bug bounty

Ransomware scum infect cancer non-profit

Cyber-bastards lower bar

What's big and red and needs 270 security patches?

Oracle software, that's what

SOHOpeless routers offer hard-coded credentials and command injection bugs

Researcher says Zyxel and Billion kit in Thailand, and probably beyond, are rotten

Toshiba may sell silicon biz to contain fallout of nuke plant problems

Japanese company's foray into fission has been a fiscal flop that a RAM plant sale could fix

Kill it with fire: US-CERT urges admins to firewall off Windows SMB

Shadow Brokers may have loosed a zero-day so you're better safe than sorry

Did Oculus swipe blueprints from rival? Zuck takes the stand

Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg grilled over the now-$3bn VR acquisition

HPE gobbles SimpliVity for US$650m – well below recent valuations

Hyperconverged unicorn loses its horn

US watchdog sues Qualcomm for 'bribing' Apple to swallow chips

Snapdragon biz broke monopoly laws, FTC claims in bombshell lawsuit

Chelsea Manning sentence slashed by Prez Obama: She'll be sprung in the spring

Pack your bags Julian, you're off to America, right?

Li-ion tamers: Boffins build battery with built-in fire extinguisher

Can we just go ahead and call it 'the Samsung device' now?

Valley techies to protest outside Palantir – Trump adviser's creepy citizen database biz

Thiel's upstart has the info needed for a Muslim registry

Veeam vaunts its va-va-voom as 2016 revenues unveiled

As if backup competition happens to someone else

WANdisco stuffs IBM-boosted deal cash wads into its flared trouser pockets

Hoping to replicate Big Blue deal with additional partners

Credential-stuffers enjoy up to 2% attack success rate – report

It's kinda easy when all the passwords are 1234567

Multi-silo data-sucker Alluxio inks deal with Dell EMC

Follows startup's agreement with Huawei

Mega UK hospitals trust Barts says IT borkage was due to trojan – not ransomware

Oh, well, that's all right then

Oracle crashes AWS and Azure UK cloud data centre party

London base in global expansion

Seagate hauls out fat form factor throwback hard drive

Bulky, low-capacity spinner built for SMBs

Why Theresa May’s hard Brexit might be softer than you think

Analysis The real plan's under wraps?

Continuous Lifecycle London: Keynote, workshops announced

REG EVENTS CD luminary Dave Farley to take the stage

UK's lords want more details on adult website check plans

Need to give it a good, proper scrutinising, don't you?

Ex-Nokia IoT bods Cumulocity join hands with Teleena

Partnership will plug LoRa and general IoTness

Apple sings another iTune following Brexit as prices rise by up to a third

It had to happen sooner or sooner.... price parity with the US dollar

Admins rejoice. Microsoft brings Azure Automation to the UK

Makes its Brentrance in the South and West regions

Ransomware brutes smacked 1 in 3 NHS trusts last year

One was hit 19 times over 12 months

Phoney McPhoneface: The thrilling tale of ZTE's crowdsourced mobe

Or why the customer isn't always right

AI and robots? Will someone think of the jobs, says HPE CEO Whitman

Yeah, just don't worry about the 100k plus you've tossed on the bonfire Meg

CBI: Brexit Britain needs a 'sensible and flexible' immigration programme

Calls for benefits of foreign workers to be recognised

OpenIO, blind nano-nodes and coffee cup detection

Interview What you don’t know, you can’t look for - obviously

Revealed: How Nvidia's 'backseat driver' AI learned to read lips

Driving assistant gives self-drivers a bit of Lip(Net)

Facebook pimping for politicos despite fake news 'purge'

Social giant works both sides of news street

Stanford boffins find 'correlation between caffeine consumption and longevity'

Make a cup of tea - or a mocha - before you read this if you want a long and happy life

Power Systems running IBM's VIOS virtualisation need a patch and reboot

Unless you're willing to tolerate the chance of data corruption

Microsoft Germany says Windows 7 already unfit for business users

FUDalicious post argues ancient security features are just too risky

Search for MH370 called off after new theory about resting place is ruled out

Australia, Malaysia and China say no new information on plane's location has been found

Devs reverse-engineer 16,000 Android apps, find secrets and keys to AWS accounts

It's 2017 and developers are still doing really dumb things

Dodgy Dutch developer built backdoors into thousands of sites

Update Then hoovered out users' personal data, stole identities galore and spent up big

Auto emissions 'cheatware' scandal sparks war of words between Italy, Germany

EPA's allegations against Fiat Chrysler become sweary international incident

Japan tries to launch satellite on rocket the size of a telegraph pole

And fails: the launcher's second stage failed to ignite so it ditched into the sea

Docker adds continuous integration to DataKit

Your code tested as soon as you send it to GitHub

Still running a data centre designed by your grandad?

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