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BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Episode 13 The best things in life are free, or at least come when there's no charge

Huawei Watch

They’re FAT. They’re ROUND. They’re worth almost a POUND. Smart waaatch, smart waaatch

IFA 2015 Samsung, world+dog unveil more wrist jobs

2001: A Space Odyssey

Cognitive computing: What can and can’t we do, and should lipreading be banned?

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do


You tried to hide your extramarital affair … by putting it on the web?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Thousands of virtual rolling pins descend

Reg reader shares AshMad blackmail email about which he gives 'zero f***s'

Send Bitcoin or we tell your Facebook mates you were shag-searching

Google edges closer to China in new game Play with tailored Android app store – report

Choc Factory to censor data for delicate Beijing stomachs

Photoshop for 40 quid: Affinity Photo pushes pixels further than most

Review Even creative pros are curious to try Serif's image editor

You tried to hide your extramarital affair … by putting it on the web?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Thousands of virtual rolling pins descend

Oracle laying off its Java evangelists? Er, no comment, says Oracle

Soon-to-be-redundant chap in pink slip slip on Facebook

Mind-blowing secrets of NSA's security exploit stockpile revealed at last

PDF Incredible document has to be seen to be believed

Oracle's bright new Sonoma SPARCs hint at own-tech cloud

Comment There's only one likely customer for Oracle's hyperscale silicon: Oracle

Game, set and DEATHMATCH: Drone TERROR ORDEAL at US Open tennis tournament

Robot runs amuck, teacher cuffed

Spotify updates hated privacy policy ... with exact same policy

We're sorry, says CEO, that we didn't better explain how we're slurping all your info

Hackers spent at least a year spying on Mozilla to discover Firefox security holes – and exploit them

Bugzilla infiltrated, private vulns slurped since at least 2014

FTC gives FBI the finger over govt backdoor encryption demands

Commissioner joins CTO in its 'don't be stupid' rationale

Daredevil Brit lifts off in 54-prop quinquaquadcopter

'Just a bit of fun', says flying Heath Robinson

Reg readers select infosec A-Team to save Ashley Madison

Good news for the bad boy; bad news for the good girl...

Reg reader shares AshMad blackmail email about which he gives 'zero f***s'

Send Bitcoin or we tell your Facebook mates you were shag-searching

Unconfirmed PayPal 0day auth flaw lingers after XSS gets fixed

Brace of bugs unveiled in payment facilitator's security structure

The S, Huawei’s new best Mate: Compact and premium – but not cheap

Hands On Primo slab of quality Sino flagship phablet lands

Cash-happy BlackBerry slurps one-time rival Good for $425m

Mobe-maker formerly known as RIM finds bundle of notes behind the sofa

A Dyson car? Don't rule it out. We're suckers for innovation, says CEO

Also refuses to rule out perpetual motion machine, breakable perfect crypto

Cognitive computing: What can and can’t we do, and should lipreading be banned?

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

Hacker chancer looking for $500,000 after offering Clinton emails for auction

If he even has them. Hard to substantiate anything here

Want your kids to learn coding? Train the darn teachers first

UK gov’s financial pledges yet to filter down

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Caption comp More amusement from the message menagerie

They’re FAT. They’re ROUND. They’re worth almost a POUND. Smart waaatch, smart waaatch

IFA 2015 Samsung, world+dog unveil more wrist jobs

BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Episode 13 The best things in life are free, or at least come when there's no charge

China's TCL strokes Android with its 17.3" fondleslab WHOPPER

IFA 2015 And Alcatel's OneTouch Xess goes even further with Google's 'desktop' OS

Drones need their own version of Asimov's laws of robotics – MEPs

EU aviation agency seeks public opinion on planned UAV laws

Bored Brazilian skiddie claims DDoS against Essex Police

'I will do 19 years' attacker says in garbled English – perhaps accidentally right

Fruity Firefox: Mozilla caves to Apple, unveils iOS-friendly browser

New Zealand will get first crack at browser's fruity capabilities

Drifting phases and noise in phase-change memory

Big Blue research gnomes of Zurich crack a problem

Larry Ellison's yacht isn't threatened by NoSQL – yet

But he might have to buy a NoSQL dinghy to tie to the back of it

Wangling my way into the 4K gaming club with a water-cooled whopper

Feature Catching a glimpse of uncanny valley

Soyuz docks with ISS, delivers trio of fresh 'nauts

Orbiting outpost packed with parked capsules

Is SanDisk becoming an acquisition target as the market consolidates?

‘We don't comment on rumour or speculation’. But we do

Pioneer slaps 80s LASERS on cars for driverless push

Price drop needed for expensive kit

Red Hat unleashes EL 7.2 beta on a waiting world

Better containers, storage, security and admin, apparently

Boffins build magnetic field cloak 'wormhole', could help MRI scanners

Cool cloak no sci-fi joke

Spaniard trousers €60,000 bank error, proceeds directly to jail

Does not pass go, despite commendable misappropriation attempt

Amazon slurps Elemental

AWS Cloud to spin up video formatting services

Borg bashes destabilising DoS bug in UCS kit

No workaround, so it's 'patch or chuck it in the bin'

Equinix edged around Wedge, fell back into proprietary embrace

Ye olde networking giants still deliver for this big bit-shipper

NBN vaults Australia into global top-10 … DDoS attack sources

Or not, if you look at the numbers

Windows 10 grabbed about five per cent market share in August

Unless this really is the year of the Linux desktop ...

Stingray stung: FBI told 'get a warrant'

DoJ bends a little with new cell-site simulator policy

Pwn2Own Tokyo hacking contest trashed, US export rules blamed

Sponsor HP stumped by Wassenaar Arrangement cluster-fsck

Huge, absorbent iPad rumours recycled – and this time it's REAL. True

It's true that's there's a rumour. And that's a FACT

Why are Google and 'VW group' having a 'global summit' in San Francisco today?

Pic Rumbled in the tech jungle

FTC raps Machinima for paying YouTubers to plug Xbox One

Video network agrees to settlement in pay-for-praise case

Dead Steve Jobs' Silicon Valley wage-rigging plot costs Apple, Google, Adobe, Intel $415m

L-Koh gives O-K to settlement payout

Sacré bleu! Apple, Nokia, Samsung et al end their three-year sulk over 'home taping' tax

Big names decide they DO want a say in copying levies claims 'success' over SME broadband scheme

Can't give it away: Only two-thirds of original £100m target to be met

128TB SSD by 2018? Toshiba promises much, delivers ... a little

IFA 2015 Fat solid state flash drive for the masses?

Sparks and recreation: TomTom's stealth wearable success

IFA 2015 Well, it's a success compared with Android Wear, anyway

Ashley Madison hack miscreants may have earned $6,400 from leak

Blackmail campaign unmasked through Bitcoin blockchain

Watch this cartoon on proposed new EU data rules – or you’re DOOMED. Maybe

'Misleading' animation takes a swing at new regs, and misses

Microsoft boosts Azure's VM creds with price cuts and GS

D-range storage drops its pants

Samsung’s consumer IoT vision – stupid, desperate, creepy

IFA Sketch So, just like everyone else's, in fact

Brit school claims highest paper plane launch crown

PICS+VID 35,043m drop finally breaks PARIS Vulture 1 record

The Infrastructure Time Machine

Live Webcast How do you build a ‘service centric’ IT for the future?

Web hosting biz Servint hit by network-toppling DDoS attack

Outage domino effect as network's customers' customers also hit

Malvertising attack menaces users with tainted love

Update Infected ads threaten lonely hearts' romantic pursuits

HMRC breaches job applicants' privacy in mass email spaff

Update Want to know if your nemesis is applying for the same job? You're in luck

IoT baby monitors STILL revealing live streams of sleeping kids

The hacker that rocks the cradle

Anonymous UK 'leader' fined for revealing ID of rape complainant

Man cleared of charges ranted a bit too much in online vid

Au oh, there's gold in them thar server farms, so lead the way

You can also scrabble for Cu, Al, Fe, Ta, Ag, Sn, Si, Nd, OK?

Greater Manchester plod site targeted by nuisance DDoS attack

'There will be more attacks today,' attacker proudly tells El Reg

Feeling sweary? Don't tell Google Docs

NSFW You've got more chance getting a f**k out of Ashley Madison than the Chocolate Factory

Tintri T850: Storage array demonstrates stiff upper lip under pressure

Review Watch out, performance hogs. This is NOT a contention-based model

Mad Max: High-octane dystopian desert demolition derby

Game Theory Create your own car, crack on with combat collisions

Websites aimed at kids are slurping too much info, finds report

Large number are also sharing that data willy-nilly with third parties

Wikipedia’s biggest scandal: Industrial-scale blackmail

Analysis But can the stables be cleaned? And does anyone actually want to clean them?

Netflix releases reflected XSS audit tool for biz

Sleepy Puppy latest in Open Source security love

At LAST: RC4 gets the stake through the heart

Google, Mozilla and Microsoft say 'enough is enough'

Almost all .science malicious, .cricket rigged, boffins find

.work, .party equally dangerous.

Stench of confiscated dope overwhelms Catalan cop shop

Effects like 'having smoked something illegal', officers complain

Shabby but persistent espionage group turn tables on researchers

'Hey it's Mike, open this thing would ya?'

CloudRouter now live

Want your open-source NetOps? Here it is

BEELION-dollar lasso snaps, NASA mapper blind in one eye

'You got the warranty card?' 'I thought you had it!'

Work has started on VMware's secret security disruptor

'Real code is being written' says NSX Daddy Martin Casado

vAdmins facing DUAL vSphere upgrades

VMworld 2015 vSphere 6 gets its first refresh this month, cloud on-ramp coming soon

Flash, holograms? Where will your archive end up?

Will you still tape me tomorrow?

Boffins learn to send boredom-beating suggestions to smartphone-fondlers

What fresh hell is this?

HP's TippingPoint security bods on the block, suits shuffled to make way for 3D printers

Tipping point for TippingPoint

Sony's 4King with us now: Xperia Z5 mobe has UltraHD screen, cam

IFA2015 High-res audio too, but will users care?

Sorry, Californians, you can't have this: Asus to build WATER COOLED notebook

Oh no, steam leak! Ayymm Mellltingggg

TREE-HUGGER? Your WOODEN HAREM is much BIGGER than thought

Quite literally TREELLIONS of trunks for cuddling

Popcorn time at Popcorn Time: More vid slurpers hauled into court

Sixteen Does fingered for piracy in Portland

Nexenta, SanDisk hop into bed, one thing leads to another – now they've got a 512TB flash brat

It's game over, spinning disks

It's MediaTek v Qualcomm in the motherboard of all battles

Rumours and leaks for 2016's hottest processors

Damn well knew it! Seagate has helium drives in its labs

Spinner's analyst day revelation

Turkey cites crypto software find in terror charges against TV crew

They use the same programs, so they must be helping the PKK, claims clueless gov

Chinese mobe market suffers pre-pwned Android pandemic

Amazingly, it might not even be the Chinese government causing it

Euro telly bods say 'non' to spectrum sharing with mobiles

If the LTE gang gets its way DTT is toast, says report

Return of the Pocket PC: Acer shows off Jade Primo PC Phone

IFA 2015 Cause if you get it wrong, you'll get it right next time (next time)

Mate S: Huawei 'beats' Apple to force-touch phone launch

IFA2015 Knuckle gestures and mini scales also on the way... just not yet

Trio of 'nauts thunder towards International Space Station

Soyuz soars heavenwards from Baikonur Cosmodrome

French hacker besmuts road sign right under Les Plods' noses

Vid+update Méchant matey denies Dominique Strauss Kahn protest

NHS to go paperless by 2020. No, really, it will, says gros fromage

Dead tree goalposts are noiselessly, virtually moved once again

Look over here! SAP unveils big data HANA update

Please buy our in-memory databases, says German ERP peddler

The 100GB PHONE! Well, it has shades of Chrome, so not quite

Not using that bit of data, then dump it into online storage

Jeff Bezos trousers $8m Florida rocket sweetener package

Cash lures Blue Origin to Sunshine State

Xiaomi aims to knock Apple off its branch with move into computers

Latent luxury Linux laptop targets financially fit fruity firm's finest

Viral virus bunfight: Dr Web tested rivals like Kaspersky Lab

But they didn't deliberately try and trip up rivals with false positives

West's only rare earth mine closes. Yet Chinese monopoly fears are baseless

Worstall on Wednesday Strong-arm attempt? Whatever

ICO probes NHS clinic's data blunder that exposed HIV+ status of 800 patients

56 Dean Street drops perhaps the worst DP clanger of all time

Speaking in Tech: Live from (not) The Last VMworld

Podcast Like 'Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii', only with more VMware announcements

Ericsson software upgrade targets great indoors, makes networks faster

Three sausages does unlicenced aggregation

Earth wobbles on axis as Google rebrands

Logowatch Paradigms shifted in drive to world domination

BIS shuns Steria HR and payroll shared services centre

Exclusive Yeah, actually, you know those costs, they’re not 'viable' now

OH DEAR, WHSmith: Sensitive customer data spaffed to world+dog

Updated Magazine form emails EVERYONE on mailing list

Small wonder, little competition: Asus Chromebook Flip

Review World's first 10-inch touchscreen convertible Googletop

Wanna fight Google’s alleged European evildoing? Then join us, says US legal firm

There's GOLD in them thar antitrust cases, apparently

Tegile looking at some really flashy fabric

Ultra-fast server host attachment links are coming

If VMware is a sun, here are the storage worlds we've spotted orbiting it

VMworld 2015 The force is strong in this one, Darth

SOHOpeless: Belkin router redirection zero-day

DNS response fondling confounds security

Self-driving CARS? BORING. We want self driving, LIZARD dodging GOLF CARTS

At last, humanity's real problems tackled

Croc country cops' mobile facial matching a festival party pop

Running from the law? Better stay in the bush.

Wikimedia sweeps shill accounts after stunt doubles, waterparks scammed

Update Sockpuppet purge flushes 400 accounts

Big Blue bops modular menace

CoreBot infant could grow to painful teenager

Leak-shamed Intel finally bares nifty Skylake details to world+dog

Now will you please stop spaffing our slides everywhere?

Judge flips class-action switch on Uber drivers' lawsuit against cab biz

All 160,000 can stand in claim over tips, says beak

Groin-melting Fujitsu LifeBook batteries recalled in conflag alert

Rip out these batts now – unless you like staring down at the charred remains of your lap

Victims of US gov't mega-breach still haven't been notified

Affected workers to receive aid starting 'later this month'

Ad watchdog terminates Vodafone's cherry-picked 'unbeatable connecting calls' claims

Three challenges rival operator over sketchy UK geography

VMware bids to bust out of servers and onto Windows desktops

VMworld 2015 AirWatch tweaked to manage Win10

Bloke clicks GitHub 'commit' button in Visual Studio, gets slapped with $6,500 AWS bill

Oh, did you mean that to be a PRIVATE repository?

Ex-Secret Service agent who siphoned Bitcoin from Silk Road takes plea deal

Admitted to pocketing a cool $820,000 during investigation

Apple: Hey TV people, wanna be in the same place Samsung phones are these days?

Do you wanna make telly shows with us – or with the losers?

Hidden password-stealing malware lurking in your GPU card? Intel Security thinks not

Neat trick but not undetectable

Web giants gang up to take on MPEG LA, HEVC Advance with royalty-free streaming codec

Joining forces for cheap, fast 4K video

Ed Snowden crocked cloud, says VMware CEO Pat Gelsinger

VMworld 2015 Oh no! Biz needs cross-cloud abstraction to move data across borders

New Xen bug uses security feature to destroy security

Dis-ARM-ing flaw can cook your console

Ecuador and Sweden in 'constructive talks' – just don't mention Assange™ by name

Beetlejuice, Voldemort and now Julian

Mashed together malware threatens Japanese online banking users

Making good use of the things that they find ...

Giant sea scorpion which prowled ancient oceans revealed

Fossilised remains of 'bizarre' predatory beast uncovered in Iowa

Europe yawns at EU robo-commish Ansip's digital plans

Only 8 per cent want to watch Estonian footie in Brussels. Proles!

Falcon 9 fireworks display grounds SpaceX

No launches on the roster for another couple of months

Snap out of the snapshot habit, says mutant upstart Reduxio

Hybrid storage bods make play into crowded market

CSC beefs up public sector biz with $390m merger deal

Okays SRA soiree – whatever will be will be

Ashley Madison: ‘Our site is full of women, and members are growing’

You haters are wrong – megabreach ’twas but a flesh wound

Back to school: Six of the smartest cheap 'n' cheerful laptops

Product Roundup The usual suspects for studious souls

Seagate births 8TB triplets and a 2TB mobile nipper

Who says spinning rust is finished?

Microsoft backports data slurp to Windows 7 and 8 via patches

But no creepy Redmond robo-buddy for Windows 10 hold-outs – yet

Infineon CEO admits auto-chip biz may be a takeover target

German company is still looking for acquisitions, but may soon cash in its chips

NCA targeted by Lizard Squad in apparent DDoS revenge attack

There’s no skill in this, agency sneers

Apple muscles in on biz world AGAIN – this time with Cisco pact

Will hanging on the telephone help shift more iOS gear to enterprises?

No more jaw-jaw, as PRS sues SoundCloud over music streaming

Analysis Is the balance of power still tipped towards large tech companies?

Turn-by-turn directions coming to Ordnance Survey Maps

Hands On Super stealth map app gains features – but needs more offline

The future of IT is – to deliver automation. Discuss

Sysadmin blog Adapt or die, says Trevor Pott

Farewell to Borland C++: Embarcadero releases Delphi and C++ Builder 10

Preview It's CLANG all the way in new RAD Studio

Oh no, startup Massive Analytic unleashes 'artificial precognition'

Well, we're pretty much doomed then

HP tops HPC charts, former Big Blue biz not so super

China still a top trend says IDC

How should you manage your network's traffic performance?

On Demand Getting the internet to demonstrate