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Today's bloated CPE

WTF is ... Virtual Customer Premises Equipment?

It might just be a global conspiracy to lobotomise YOUR home router

Apple CEO Tim Cook, 2012

HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

Updated Don't panic though – Apple's backdoor is not wide open to all, guru tells us

Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt

Facebook Save

NO TIME to read Facebook? Delegate the task to your FUTURE SELF

God forbid you should miss a single lump of digital gumble

Tor

Lawyers STIFLE Black Hat boffins who RIPPED VEIL from DARK WEB

Unmasking hidden users - too hot for Carnegie Mellon

Lads from Lagos turn from 419 scams to basic malware slinging

Smooth-tongued online lovers struggle to get to grips with slimy RAT infestations

Kickstarter tin-rattlers offer reboot of '80s Integrated Space Plan megagraphic

But ours is better, and it's FREE - click right here

STILL no move by Brit data cops over Google's 2012 privacy slurp

Even the Italian databinieri have got their boots on now, but not the ICO

Report: American tech firms charge Britons a thumping nationality tax

Without representation, too. Time for a Boston (Lincs) Macbook Party?

Hacker claims breach of Wall Street Journal and Vice websites, punts 'user data' for sale

Also supposedly hit a gadgets site called 'CNET'

Major problems beset UK ISP filth filters: But it's OK, nobody uses them

It's almost as though pr0n was actually rather popular

Home Office threw £347m in the bin on failed asylum processing IT project

Shiny new bin ready for new £208m programme

EMC boss Tucci’s last battle: Stopping a forced VMware selloff

Analysis Elliott Management sinks its teeth into retiring godhead

Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt

ARM: We've signed 41 new deals and we are IN to the Internet Of Stuff

Profits up but royalties down in the Silicon Fen

ITC: Seagate and LSI can infringe Realtek patents because Realtek isn't in the US

Land of the (get off scot) free, when it's a foreign owner

RISE of the Jesus Phone MOUNTAIN: 80 MILLION 'Air' iPhone 6s ordered

Bigger, harder bulges in fanboi trousers are coming

Experts gathered round corpse of PC market: It's ALIVE! Alive, we tell you

Give it another blast with the XP defibrillator! Clear! >BZZZT<

Lawyer reviewing terror laws and special powers: Definition of 'terrorism' is too broad

Can sweep up hate crims, bloggers, journos

THUD! WD plonks down SIX TERABYTE 'consumer NAS' fatboy

Now that's a LOT of porn or pirated movies. Or, you know, other consumer stuff

SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik, as we like to say in Germany

Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land

Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet

Dell and Unitrends both bulk up their backup

Extra options should you suffer a ROBO apocalypse

Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!

If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive

NEW, SINISTER web tracking tech fingerprints your computer by making it draw

Have you on YouPorn lately, perhaps? White House website?

Cisco relaunches Developer Network

If at first you don't succeed, call it a DevNet

WTF is ... Virtual Customer Premises Equipment?

It might just be a global conspiracy to lobotomise YOUR home router

Microsoft's MCSE and MCSD will become HARDER to win

Redmond decides it won't replace Masters certifications, so lesser certs get more rigour

Cyber scum pump ransomware at victims from spambot-stuffed websites

Command and control of mal-spam barrage done via Tor

Twitter hints at messaging moves

WhatsApp with this plan? Facebook's $19b cash dangle, perhaps?

Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil

'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff

Boffins fill a dome with 480 cameras for 3D motion capture

Video 'Panoptic studio' doesn't need no stinkin' sensors

NO TIME to read Facebook? Delegate the task to your FUTURE SELF

God forbid you should miss a single lump of digital gumble

Samsung looks to up Tizen market share ... by upgrading Galaxy Gear

Android-powered smartwatches get Tizen makeover in US

Lawyers STIFLE Black Hat boffins who RIPPED VEIL from DARK WEB

Unmasking hidden users - too hot for Carnegie Mellon

iiNet says metadata retention means a great big tax on everything

ISP suggests proposed down under data dump would be ultimate hacker honeypot

Apple said to be readying OS X Yosemite public beta

New Mac OS set to open to the masses

SK Telecom, Ericsson trial 'elastic cell'

Claims 50 per cent download boost

Don't look, Snowden: Security biz chases Tails with zero-day flaws alert

Exodus vows not to sell secrets of whistleblower's favorite OS

Autonomy's ex-chief beancounter tries to kill HP investor settlement

Tech titan trying to 'forever bury' multi-billion writedown, claims bloke

Samsung supplier halts assembly line amid child-labor probe

With all orders suspended, mass layoffs feared soon

Too many IT conferences to cover? MICROSOFT TO THE RESCUE!

Yet more word of cuts emerges from Redmond

Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab

IBM, MIT, plenty of others invited to fill Uncle Sam's spy toolchest, but where's Google?

IBM hails open POWER8 servers

Promo Big Data and analytics heavy

HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

Updated Don't panic though – Apple's backdoor is not wide open to all, guru tells us

August Patch Tuesday to bring Windows bug fixes AND FEATURES – report

Windows 8.1 Update 2 said to arrive in three weeks

PROOF the Apple iPhone 6 rumor mill hype-gasm has reached its logical conclusion

A mobe that lights up? My God

Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months

Analysis The real winner of the Nokia sale is *drumroll* ... Nokia

New BOMB detect-o-tech 'could give sniffer dogs competition': TRUE

But so could a magic eight-ball

It's FONDLEMANIA: Mobile devices outstrip PCs on China's internet

Chinese folk let fingers do the browsing

MARS NEEDS OCEANS to support life - and so do exoplanets

Just being in the Goldilocks zone doesn't mean there'll be anyone to eat the porridge

Huawei's turnover rockets upwards. Suck on that, US government

Sales boom by nearly a fifth despite US and Aussie regimes' spy fear boycott

iThing builder Foxconn applies to be mobile network operator in China

Wants its customer's customers' customers

You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really

Secondhand Point-o-Sale terminal was horrific security midden

Not so much backdoors as frontdoors, basically without doors in them

Do your execs take mobile security seriously?

Reader Poll Situation, tactics and air cover