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Trotter's Independent Trading Co.

The Mad Men's monster is losing the botnet fight: Fewer humans are seeing web ads

Ad fraud rises again – and the UK is the particularly mucky

Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let's go visit!

Roll up, roll up to the Malware Museum! Run classic DOS viruses in your web browser

Relive simpler times for some Friday fun

Sad iPhone

Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Bloke bricked his handset after running afoul of Apple security policy

Abandoned building

BlackBerry axes 200 jobs – including a third of its HQ staff

Troubled smartphone biz's latest recovery plan: Paying fewer people

Submarine cable cut lops Terabits off Australia's data bridge

The PPC-1 cable us out of service until March ... if a ship to fix it can be found

Hyper-converged softie biz Atlantis axes staff

CEO says it's just business as usual

That's cute, Germany – China shows the world how fusion is done

Heats hydrogen more than three times hotter than the sun

FTC: Duo bought rights to Android game – then turned it into ad-slinging junkware in an update

Pair settles in case of legit app gone bad

LinkedIn sinkin': $10bn gone in one day as shares plummet 40%

But oddly enough it's not as bad you think. Plus Salesforce, Tableau and others fall

BlackBerry axes 200 jobs – including a third of its HQ staff

Troubled smartphone biz's latest recovery plan: Paying fewer people

Forget Tiger Woods – here's Cyber Woods: Robot golfer hits hole-in-one during tournament

Vids and pic Quaffs oil at the 19th hole

Ducks, Lord of the Rings, movies and math: The GCHQ Xmas puzzle solutions revealed

Much easier when you know the answers

Roll up, roll up to the Malware Museum! Run classic DOS viruses in your web browser

Relive simpler times for some Friday fun

Brit spies want rights to wiretap and snoop on US companies' servers

And American agents would get access to UK systems

Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Bloke bricked his handset after running afoul of Apple security policy

EMC creates a Star Trek holodeck ... and uses it to simulate a data center

Yeah, we guess ... that's useful

Asigra becomes an Oracle reseller

5,000 customers before this move. How many after?

Head transplant candidate sells souvenirs to fund operation

Mugs, phone cases…and hats

Disney World-area University admits massive data breach

It's a fraud world after all

Microsoft explanation for Visual Studio online outage leaves open questions

Five hour lockout caused by errant stored procedure

Docker revs up Engine, hits 1.1

Liberty, security, granularity

Dragons and butterflies: The chaos of other people's clouds

Cascading feedback loop advoidance for the 99 per cent

Virgin gives blessing to O2/Three merger

Eyes up prospect of tasty 4G

Cisco's purple princesses gush workplace joy

The company's stance on lavender locks? 'Just rock it!'

Go and whistle, IDC. The storage world's going to hell in a handbasket

Comment A storage bear growls

Official UN panel findings on embassy-squatter released. Assange: I'm 'vindicated'

Egad, WGAD says he was arbitrarily detained

Arrow: Fraudsters impersonated one of our execs to steal money

It's costing us $13m... but the cops are on their tail

The Mad Men's monster is losing the botnet fight: Fewer humans are seeing web ads

Ad fraud rises again – and the UK is the particularly mucky

While we weren't looking, the WAN changed

Sysadmin Blog: Maybe ISPs don't have to be dumb pipes after all

RSA awards 7-year infrastructure overhaul deal to Wipro

IBM politely shown the door in digital revamp bid

Bats and badgers hold up Apple’s Irish data centre plans

Mac vendor wants to build over a field of Athenry

Crossroads preps pesky product portfolio selloff

All about patent litigation now?

IoT lacking that je ne sais quoi? Try the IoTSP

When a networked toaster just isn't enough

Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let's go visit!

MapR claims big-data wrangling Hadoop patent first

Sees 'em, raises 'em

IBM Global Tech Services staff at risk of redundo in Blighty

Staff council to be formed, 45-day consultation begins mid-Feb

Pure as the driven CEO: El Reg chats to Scott Dietzen on taking the flash array high road

Analysis Pure Pods and yes-we-can-ery

What's it like to work for a genius and Olympic archer who's mates with Richard Branson?

On-Call Who knows? This boss made most of it up … then shafted our reader royally

Sir Michael Lyons tells .uk registry Nominet: Time to grow up

Humph, responds board to ex-BBC Trust chairman's review

Swiss rolls into HPE: Micro-Veeam clone Trilead gobbled

From the land of cuckoo clocks and horology

Boffins smear circuitry onto contact lenses

'Eyeballing a computer' gets closer thanks to Anglo-Australian collaboration

Oracle now fully compliant with UK tax laws*

*In its HR software. But Big Red's been named as a creative taxpayer in the past

Who wants a quad-core 4.2GHz, 64GB, 5TB SSD RAID 10 … laptop?

The folks at Eurocom have released another monster 'mobile workstation'

Avast forked up its Chrome fork, so flings fix after Google goggles

Borked browser blows, to no one's surprise.

Rkt container runtime leaves the launchpad

CoreOS blasts off for planet production in the microservices nebula

By 2019 world will spend $2.8 TREELLION on the rubbish we write about

About one dollar in five will go on smartmobes, but servers and storage will also grow

UC Berkeley profs blast secret IT monitoring kit on campus

Ex-Homeland Security boss University president says it's all about safety

Yes or no: D@RE is a bonkers name for EMC's enterprise encryption

It's part of ECS update that includes database-less searching and other things

Symantec's definition of transformation: Take the profit made a year ago and burn a quarter of it

Silver Lake slips its PIPE into troubled security firm

Teradataaaaargghh! How to go from years in the black right into the red

Goodwill impairment's long shadow

You, FCC. Do something about these overpriced cable boxes, yells Bernie Sanders and pals

Taking a pop at Comcast – election-winning move, that

Flash array biz Tegile swings axe on staff

Exclusive Workforce trimmed in UK, Netherlands in response to 'revenue at any cost'

The fracking oil price drop whacked Panasas – who's next in energy IT?

Plummeting fuel prices cause tech budgets to shrink, which is bad news for tech suppliers

Fired Norse Corp CEO blames the media

And has a good old moan at his former employees

FaceTime, WhatsApp UDP streams AWOL on iOS 9 beta with T-Mo US

IPv6 LTE fingered in networking mystery

Sorry, Toshiba, speak up ... What was that? A $6bn loss amid an accounting scandal?

Biggest dive into the red in company history expected

Cruz missile slams into DNS overlord ICANN over Chinese censorship

Republican presidential frontrunner sends nastygram to CEO

Stylish Vaio biz mobe is flying this way – ah, it's got Windows 10 inside

Shiny, shiny .. with a catch

Mystery hacker hijacks Dridex Trojan botnet... to serve antivirus installer

Ah, great. Ave AV

Mozilla officially kills Firefox OS for smartphones in favour of 'Connected Devices'

Version 2.6, expected in May, will be the last release

So. Are Europeans just a whining bunch of data protection hypocrites?

Analysis 'We’re fixing oversight. When will you?' - USA

Supplier promises to nudge UK schools towards secure webmail

Think of the children, er, school governors

Mall owner lays blame at Apple's door for dragging down sales

How does a halo actually help you drive down rents?

NASA seeks rocketeers for annual RockOn! shindig

Obligatory: Ability to solder and US passport

Druva shows us its DRaaS and it's full of BADness

It's less risky if you do it their way, they say

OpenSSL fixes bug, gets dissed by German gov: That's so random ... not

Code review highlights problematic RNG

Like your iPhone, but not enough to touch it? This patent's for you

Apple gearing up for a mega Surface challenge?

Lenovo: China biz down, PC and mobile down

But hey, losing 3,200 staff plumped profits. And it is nearly the weekend

HPE chases risky business with Autonomy and Stonebraker tech

Promises to help titans 'get in front of a Libor-type event'

Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

Meanwhile pallid webmaster's support site wobbles

Pebble punts out new firmware to watch you as you sleep

Where are the straps?

Scottish MP calls for drone-busting eagles

Impressed by Dutch anti-UAV squadron plan

Speednames 'fesses up, admits customers' emails are borked

You can shout into the ether but you won't hear the echo

Google Search head: I'm off. Yes, I told you yesterday. On Google+

*Click*. Firm locks Artificial intelligence head in place

Software devs' new mantra: Zen dogs dream of small-sized bones

'BIG' is for old-skool bosses

Three: We won't hike prices if you say yes to £10.5bn O2 merger

Please Ms Regulator, let us do our deal

Xitore slings 4 million IOPS box under its arm, strides out into the light

Hey buddy VCs, gotta dime? A-round open for donations

Row over GCHQ-built voice algo MIKEY SAKKE rumbles on

Researcher maintains criticism as CESG defends tech

Winning Underhand C Contest code silently tricks nuke inspectors

Top evil source looks simple and innocent but is actually a warmonger's dream

Go phish your own staff: Dev builds open-source fool-testing tool

Dear Colleague, what's your password again? Send to please!

Z-z-ZAP! reveals Lightning release and price hikes

More functions mean price hike shouldn't be very very frightening, says analyst

How a power blip briefly broke GitHub's boxes and tripped it offline

git-blame -l -t

It killed Safe Harbor. Will Europe's highest court now kill off hyperlinks?

Intriguing legal case over leaked Playboy pics may impact web

Barracuda kills CudaDrive and Copy cloud storage services

Blood in the water as company decides to ' focus resources on our most strategic initiatives'

Bill for half a billion quid lands on Apple's desk in Facetime patent scrap

Cupertino iGiant tells El Reg it's demanding a mistrial

New AI chip from MIT gives Skynet a tenfold speed boost

Or, or ... Eyeriss could turn smartphones into deep thinkers

Microsoft's malware mitigator refreshed, but even Redmond says it's no longer needed

EMET 5.5 is upon us, complete with Windows 10 support

Google to deep six dodgy download buttons

Safe browsing to start flagging dodgy 'download now' buttons

Autodesk vapourises ten per cent of jobs to go completely cloudy

And it's handling the transition rather better than Adobe

Cisco splats Nexus, APIC, and security manager bugs

Hip-hip hooray it's Borg bug day!

Parallels opens new Windows with app virtualistion upgrade

New plan is to do what Citrix and VMware do, for less, for less-deep-pocketed orgs

Assange will 'accept arrest' on Friday if found guilty

UN Working Group on Arbitrary Detention set to rule on legality of long couch-surfing stint

Get ready to tear into next round of hacker tool rules in Wassenaar Arrangement refresh

Public consultation to be held on rewritten draft update

Cisco borgs IoT outfit Jasper Tech for US$1.4 billion

And just like that, Cisco has an internet of things business unit

T-Mobile US's BingeOn does break net neutrality, says law prof

But where's John Legere's ranty response?

US taxmen borked in computer cockup riddle

IRS says its online form filing system is, er, offline

College kids sue Google for 'spying' on them with Apps for Education

Cali group says lawsuit is first of many privacy sueballs against Chocolate Factory

All is not well on Mount Panasas: Five execs eject amid refocus

Exclusive NAS biz gives El Reg the silent treatment

Girls! Girls! Girls! Intel brags about diversity push, Silicon Valley tells itself it's doing great

Gender equality report raises issues, asks questions

German Chancellor fires hydrogen plasma with the push of a button

Pics and video Fusion reactor fires up after 10 years of construction

Google to pump free gigabit Fiber into homes of hard-up families

Chocolate Factory tosses a few more bucks into 'Other Bets' with goodwill project

Google licks its lips at sight of Qualcomm's 64-bit server ARM chips

Web giant snaffles 300k CPUs a quarter – how many could be ARMv8-As?

Masked men 'steal' £250k of smartphones from Exertis

170 iPhone 6s and 380 Samsung Galaxy S5 Neo mobes out the windows

Lawyer flings class action sueball at EMC over Dell merger

Can’t see the shareholder value in it, apparently

Lights out for Space Vehicle Number 23: UK smacked when US sat threw GPS out of whack

Decommissioning of elderly satellite gave UK biz that syncing feeling

Big daddy HDS shows off fruits of Big Data slurpee Pentaho

Hyper-converged HSP analytics appliance

Did you know ... Stephen Fry has founded a tech startup?

It's a fact. For real. It's true

Microsoft showers Office 365 sellers with gold in Google snub

The eye of Redmond moves to the small biz space

'Hopelessly insecure’ Motorola CCTV cameras belatedly patched

Devs accidentally bundle Dropbox and Gmail logins with IoT kit

NetApp Hitz out at critics over the flashy SolidFire buyout deal

Comment Firm's co-founder castrates misleading AFA bull

Speaking in Tech: How good is the UK's broadband? Really awful

Podcast Replicate Comcast Raspberry Pi experiment? Nah, we're too weak to tweet

Former Oracle man Block fills Salesforce's COO slot

Ascending steadily into the fluffy white stuff

World's annual mobile data intake to hit 367 exabytes by 2020

Think we're data hogs now? Just wait five years, says Cisco

How many Surface power cords are a fire risk? 2.25 million in the US alone

But five million slab-books sold worldwide before March last year

They've reached it: Crossroads' stock price crashes to just $0.25

Ailing storage biz seems to be on brink of a pivot

SAP pays $3.9m to settle Panama government bribery case

Discounted deals still made millions

Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

AI whizzes shunned Shoreditch and Tech City ... and asked for real cash

13 CubeSats to ride mighty US lifter

NASA names ticket holders for first Space Launch System launch

ioSafe releases x86 server for the 'we don't have a geek with a screwdriver' crowd

Review Fireproof, waterproof... open to new ideas

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

Dodgy kit caused nationwide thinning out of Netflix

Uber rebrands to the sound of whalesong confusion

LOGOWATCH 'Bits' and 'atoms' collide in identity mosh pit

Universal Credit slammed by MPs: Late programme branded 'unacceptable'

Lack of transparency also catches flak from Parliament

PernixData scoops new head of sales from Nimble

Mike Munoz strides into the sales bearpit

NOTHING trumps extra pizza on IT projects. Not even more people

Why Jeff Bezos laughs at your 'big' team

When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

Line Break Our readers' first batch of terrible source code witnessed at the coal face

They're alive! Galileo sats 9 and 10 sending valid signals

Europe's satnav system should now be even better at settling in-car arguments

Pentagon can't check F-35 maintenance thanks to insecure database

Auditors crawl over Defence security, drop report

'Dodgy Type-C USB cable fried my laptop!'

Insane wiring leaves expensive Pixel borked

Internet idiots make hoax bomb threats to UK, Aus, French schools

Stolen VoIP and text-to-speech used to cloak Bitcoin operation.

Europe wants end to anonymous Bitcoin transactions

Money-laundering powers seen as crimp on terror funds if virtual currencies offer (unlikely) help

Berkeley boffins build cut-price robo-crutches, er, sci-fi exoskeleton

$40,000 price tag half rival models

Cisco slings speedier SAN switches

Model 9718 bears the number of The Beast, Cisco swears

Big Ben belittled by Infosys' plans for enormous erection

Outsourcer plans world's biggest clock tower on campus of corporate university

Motorola-powered Mac from 1989 used to write smartphone apps

Mac SE/30's nine-inch screen is ideal for font-wrangling, says dev, 16Mhz 68030 not so much

A virtual phone inside a virtual cloud desktop is now an actual thing

Amazon's desktops-as-a-service upgrade to handle unified communications

Japanese wireless boffins demo 56Gbps fibre replacement*

*If your fibre is 10 cm long

WordPress under attack by whack-a-mole ad-scam malware

JavaScript attack spreads among sites, re-infects after cleansing

International Trade Commission pens patent love letter to Cisco

Arista violated three Borg patents, unless someone else decides it didn't

Socat slams backdoor, sparks thrilling whodunit

Year-old bug ruined crypto

Layoffs! Lawsuits! Losses! ... Yahoo! is! in! an! L! of! a! mess!

15 per cent of staff axed, bits likely to be sold off, $4bn loss for the year

Intel, Qualcomm set up their WiGig 802.11ad devices on blind dates

Good news, seeing as they're already flogging the hardware

Google calls out Comodo's Chromodo Chrome-knockoff as insecure crapware

Installed it for free? Costs the same to uninstall it

Safe Harbor ripped and replaced with Privacy Shield in last-minute US-Europe deal

Uncle Sam promises not to spy on Europeans en masse

Google ninjas go public with security holes in Malwarebytes antivirus

Software biz races to fix bugs everyone now knows

Smart toys spring dumb vulns. Again. This time: Cuddly bears, watches

Get it together, IoT makers

Alphabetti spaghetti: What Wall Street isn't telling you about Google

Black boxes and botnet armies ravage aging ad biz

IBM's Spectrum Scale gets see-through cloud tiering

Direct support of object storage by parallel file system

See that fist punching through the clouds? That's Veeam's, that is

Read this and weep, fellow storage upstarts

Wanted! A browser to replace Xombrero

Readers' corner Can you help your fellow commentard?

IBM blesses Catalogic's ECX copy data management

Big Blue takes storage biz's hand, gallops into the sunset

BT broadband is down: Former state monopoly goes TITSUP UK-wide

Updated Total Inability To Shift Usual Packets

UK IT pros love OpenStack. Who says so? SUSE says so

Vendor survey: High adoption rate

For sale: One 236-bed nuclear bunker

Spacious Northern Ireland pad, handy for emergencies

Perforce boss: ‘I’m just the cook’, flips firm to private equity

New owners focus on undefined 'next stage' of growth

Firing a water rocket to 1km? Piece of cake

Well, not exactly...