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O2 craps itself on national Blighty holiday as cabinet minister moans: 'Oi, sort it out!'

Be less dog poop

Bitcoin punch cards

Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

IBM Model 1401 can hash, will produce a Bitcoin some time after the Sun explodes

Train wreck

Boffins silently track train commuters without tripping Android checks

Smartmobe accelerometer data reveals your movements, isn't secured in any way

The Typhoon in Battle of Britain colours

RAF Eurofighter gets a Battle of Britain makeover

Paint job honours Flight Lieutenant James Brindley Nicolson VC

Linus and a hexacopter

Torvalds: decisions, decisions, top up sun tan or release Linux 4.1?

Open source overlords need a break too... but devs told to keep on testing

NATS ignored previous recommendations — IT cock-up report

Since privatisation, investment ‘somewhat less than had been planned overall’

Capita gobbles Berks-based mobility specialist Pervasive

One less biz for ex-Capita customers to buy from

Do svidaniya Roscosmos. By the way, any idea where that 92 BEEELLION rubles went?

Russians ready a new state corporation. Called Roscosmos

Cheesy video shows ex-Gooners pronouncing 'Huawei'

Good job they don't need to know this stuff for work

Fibre Channel over Ethernet is dead. Woah, contain yourselves

Comment No one (well, maybe just Cisco) wanted it

Told ya! Coms flogs telco arm to Timico in £2.5m deal

Board: Sale of loss-making arm draws line in sand with the past

If IT isn’t careful, marketing will soon be telling us what to do

CIO Manifesto Tell us how can CIOs hold the line in a multi-channel world

O2 craps itself on national Blighty holiday as cabinet minister moans: 'Oi, sort it out!'

Be less dog poop

Geofencing: The ultra-low power frontier for the Internet of Things

Internet of Lawnmowers Free-range for devices

RAF Eurofighter gets a Battle of Britain makeover

Paint job honours Flight Lieutenant James Brindley Nicolson VC

Will YOU be living in a cardboard box under the motorway in five years?

One in four will be out of business, predicts ball-starer Huawei

Rubrik deluged with a bucket full of B-round dollars

Hybrid cloud backup appliance startup pockets a cool $41m confirms it's binned extended Windows XP support

Laggard agencies understand the risks and can cope, says GDS

Torvalds: decisions, decisions, top up sun tan or release Linux 4.1?

Open source overlords need a break too... but devs told to keep on testing

Blackhat hack trick wallops popular routers

Sneaky DNS change doesn't need remote management.

Qualcomm, Daimler in wireless comms, charging tie-up

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz in which to charge my smartmobe?

Bluetooth privacy is mostly ignored, so you're beaming yourself to the world

It's okay, you Tweeted your FitBit stats anyhow, right?

Jony Ive, chief Apple scribbler, promoted - into job he already has

More a case of getting some new subordinates?

Unisys weans itself off homebrew chippery, finally slurps Intel gear

New colosso-iron ClearPath Dorado 8300 is all Chipzilla, all the time

Boffins silently track train commuters without tripping Android checks

Smartmobe accelerometer data reveals your movements, isn't secured in any way

Unicode wonks are bringing home the BACON, as an emoji

At last, emoji kids and adults can all understand

Web tracking puts lead in your saddlebags, finds Mozilla study

Blocking third party access to content speeds up your browser

Charter Comms to acquire Time Warner for US$55bn: lotsa reports

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again

Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

IBM Model 1401 can hash, will produce a Bitcoin some time after the Sun explodes

Nominet new CEO opens giant can of worms, sticks head in

Meanwhile registry's charitable trust is propped up with exiting Board members

Will Hay: Britain's bumbling star of the screen and skies

Feature Comic actor and acclaimed astronomer extraordinaire

Land Rover's return: Last orders and leather seats for Defender nerds

Geek's Guide to Britain Blighty's Jeep – done in a thoroughly British way

Death of a middleman: Cloud storage gateways – and their evolution

Fading glory for Google, Microsoft and Amazon go-betweens?

LOHAN team preps PRATCHETT mission

Final avionics test flight in honour of the late, great Sir Terry

Amazon sighs, may slip hands into trousers to pay some UK corp tax

All in the name of customer service, natch

Windows and OS X are malware, claims Richard Stallman

'Resist gratification', says super-GNU-man freedom fighter

India to Russia: 'Sod you, Vlad, we're going to the moon ALONE'

Mars? Been there, done that

2.8 million victims squared up by malicious Minecraft apps

Cheaters cheated, then fleeced by premium SMS 'malware' removal tools

Sniffing and sharing Wi-Fi passwords? There's an app for that!

And its Chinese developers just scored US$52m of VC to sniff more passwords

Mozilla finds a way to tunnel Firefox into iOS

'Firefox experience' will play some low-key gigs in private beta

Bank-heist malware's servers phone home to Russian spookhaus

Possible prank sees trojan that lifted $300 million suggest Kremlin as controller

World loses John Nash, the 'Beautiful Mind'

Nash and wife, Alicia, die in New Jersey taxi accident

HP: you know we said we were done with cost cutting...

Enterprise Services needs to find $2bn of savings, but s'ok, got 3 years to do it

Maserati Ghibli S: Who cares what Joe Walsh thinks?

Vulture at the wheel 404bhp worth of twin-turbo Ferrari V6 is no error

BlackBerry: we ARE cutting jobs AGAIN

Biz fomerly known as RIM desperately seeking profits from device unit

Google patents DEVIL TOY which will BRAINWASH KIDS

The 'mad scientist' creator thrusts torch under chin, says 'AAhahahahaha'

Look out, Dixon! That there is a dangerously INTELLECTUAL cow

CoTW Plus: 'Why should I care if my taxi's insured or not?'

Against Captain’s Orders – a half-term swashbuckling, squash-clutching adventure

Theatre Review One for young maritime fans

Zip Style Method: Ten swanky laptop bags for her

Product Roundup Fashionably great

Vietnam-lovin' VoIP man's 50-nation tally couldn't hold him back

The eXpat Files Every single journey's got a story to tell

NEVER MIND the B*LLOCKS Osbo peddles, deficits don't really matter

Worstall @ the Weekend But the absence of one can

NSA bulk phone records slurp to end when law lapses next month – report

'White House DIDN'T ask secret court for 90-day extension'

'Sorry we outed your affair ... this sort of thing happens every day'

QuoTW Plus: NetApp 'operationalises' 500 staffers right out of a job

SLOPPY STELLAR CANNIBAL star is a NASTY 1, astroboffins squeal

Weird behaviour never before seen in our Milky Way

VR rift OPENS UP: Total Recall Technologies hurls lawsuit at Facebook's Oculus

[Johnnycab rolls his eyes]

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bog-standard boxty

Looking for a husband? This Irish no-frills spud-based stodge can help

Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Seemingly, 'unlimited' means access to a frozen screen

Candy-cane optimism tastes sweet in Disney’s Tomorrowland

Film Review A wholesome family adventure that stays the right side of cloying

Carry On Computing: Ten stylish laptop bags for him

Product Round-Up A touch of class for tech travellers

The Happiness Industry, Seveneves and Confessions of a Tinderella

Page File Myth and mischief-making in fact and fiction

Putting your schlong into the reel-to-reel tape machine is a bad idea

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Media recording is boring as f**k

eBay bug turns phishing email links into malware-stuffed booby prizes

Crims could smuggle nasties in files 'downloaded' from web souk

'The Google execs, the journalists, plus Brit and US spybosses in a cosy mansion confab'

Tinker, tailor, soldier, Silicon Valley wonks

Is your career lacking growth? Become a porn inspector! Hint: It sucks

Can you beat off the stiff competition? Have you got what it takes? Find out

Salesforce snubbed Microsoft's $55bn biz gobble offer – report

Benioff doesn't get out of bed for less than $70bn

ROBOQUAFF! Boffins build smooth robot arm to lift a pint of beer

Vid Fine-control brain-powered technology with a solid use case

What are cellphone networks blabbing about you to the Feds? A US senator wants to know

Snooping on calls? Stalking people in the streets? Surely some mistake

More Human: Designing a World Where People Come First

Page File TED Talk Man gives the Ministry of Justice a rude nickname

Boring old Brocade just sits there making money. Damn them

Irritatingly stable firm just trundles along like a vintage Volvo

GDS to handle Govt payments? What could possibly go wrong?

New Cabinet Office Minister lavishes fulsome praise on Maude’s fiasco

Huawei peels back the covers in pursuit of partner love

Ok, so reseller recruitment was slow but we want to bed other partners too

New relay selection fix for Tor to spoil spooks' fun (eventually)

Quick, before Skynet takes control of the Five Eyes

Xiaomi greets MediaTek with a handshake, Qualcomm feels awkward

I think we should see other processors

Cisco strengthens its hardware-defined networking products

We so love FC and FICON still

DDoS attack downs University of London learning platform

A harsh lesson, now stand in the corridor for four hours

Wanna buy a software reseller? Comparex big enough for you?

Owner of Microsoft licensing reselling giant hires investment banker

Windows Server 2003 end of support draws ever closer

Regcast Don’t panic, Mr Mainwaring - do something

Nokia getting there with HERE as rivals talk up price

You want it, fight for it, say Finns

Zero rating? Zero chance says Vodafone India

Concerns about the threat to net neutrality and choice lead to investigation

Tim Worstall: Metals, mining and my heavyweight book

Reg Events He wrote the book, and he's going to bring it along

Adult FriendFinder hack EXPOSES MEELLIONS of MEMBERS

Users with a fetish for risky encounters in public spaces will be excited

SAVE THE PLANKTON: So much more than whale food

Gotta love those life-sustaining and genetically diverse little critters

HP storage revenues declining as the dithering continues

Comment Is a distracted Whitman twisting or sticking?

Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

Two windows, two users at a time? How is that possible?

UK data watchdog: Massive fines won't keep data safe

We should be able to use threats though

Celebrating 20 years of juicy Java. Just don’t mention Android

A remarkable past, and a clouded future

mSpy: We haven't been breached. Customers: Oh yes you have

In fact, we're victim of a ‘predatory attack’, says snooper

VMware doubles node count for EVO:RAIL hyperconvergenceware

Two THOUSAND desktops a cluster, baby. Uh huh

Factory reset memory wipe FAILS in 500 MEELLION Android mobes

Boffins recover crypto keys, plus Google and Facebook tokens

ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Elves vs. Dwarves argument among retro-devs as Men just get on and play improved game

Heroic German rozzers rescue innocent lamb from sordid brothel

Little Knocking Sheep of Horrors

HP beats the street on earnings, misses on revenue in Q2

Things are ugly outside the Americas, new China deal might help

Big sales growth nothing to do with NSA fears - Huawei top brass

Chinese kit-maker has stolen Europe from the yanks

Hacker uses Starbucks INFINITE MONEY for free CHICKEN SANDWICH

Coffee king finds cheeky exploit a bitter taste

PCI council gives up, dumbs down PCI DSS for small business

Taskforce to try again with new education campaign for simpler security standard

VMware beta testing database-as-a-service based on SQL Server

'vCloud Air SQL' will bring disaster recovery for your DB coming to Virtzilla's vCloud Air

EXT4 filesystem can EAT ALL YOUR DATA

RAID bug can corrupt the filesystem, patches incoming, caution advised

Snowden latest: NSA planned sneak attacks on Android app stores

Agencies also hid major flaws in UC Browser

School's in for Chromebooks, Google's the top swot in class

ChromeOS getting 'em while they're young

Want to be the hottest thing since Melrose Place? Get these Lycos patents

Who wouldn't want to own IP from firm that peaked 20 years ago?

City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

Best way not to remember an answer? Lie to yourself

Singapore to trial 10Gbps home broadband

Take that Google cable, and weep Australia

SpaceX signs off on another successful mission with Pacific splashdown

Dragon quenched with water landing

Grand Theft Auto maker lobs sueball at BBC over biopic

Casting Harry Potter as our CEO? The nerve!

New Windows 10 Build 10122 aims to fix file association hijacking

Smoother and more stable, but Start menu and tablet issues remain

404 Boss not found — Bye bye ICANN CEO Chehade

Surprise decision will likely see him leave before critical transition

Spotify smashing new media paradigms with something called ‘video’

Swede streamer was once all about the music, man

Apple announces 'Home' iOS 9 app to run the Internet of Stuff

Managing things in the Internet of Things is a thing, y'know

Governance the key if you don't want mobile workers escaping your control

On the move but not on the loose

NetApp's customers resisting Clustered ONTAP transition

Wake up and smell the declining revenues

WHOOPSIE! Vast US health insurer CareFirst plundered of 1.1 MEELLION records

But no medical or payment info - it seems

Coho Data spawns all-flash MicroArray with fresh funding help

Not quite storage fishing in the Yemen, but still pretty good

Backpage child sex trafficking lawsuit nixed thanks to 'internet freedoms'

Judge: Communications Decency Act trumps indecent ads

Imation CEO voted off board in proxy war bombshell

Activist investor Clinton Group sets up camp at far end of boardroom table

Salesforce: Profit pah! We’ll be back in the red before you know it

SAP saps soon to be slapped

Belgian telco prepares to tear out last of nation's phone boxes

Shares in public toilet firms reportedly on the rise

China spending $182 BEEELLION on net construction by end of 2017

The move away from manufacturing base continues

It pays to fake it: Test your flash SAN with a good simulation

How to measure your storage performance

Post-PC era? Surely you're joking, says Lenovo as computers fly out of door

Profits down following acquisitions, though

A good effort, if a bit odd: Windows 10 IoT Core on Raspberry Pi 2

First Look The question is, does the Pi really need Windows?

Choose Deutsche Telekom for all your bargain spying needs

Cable company helped NSA spy on Vienna for a decade, says Austrian MP

King's Bounty (1990): Enter the kleptomaniac dragon

Antique Code Show Employ a mighty army, locate a symbolic staff

NINTENDO assigns BOWSER to run North American sales. No, really

Turtle namesake recruited for smartphone assault

Dell inserts Hyper-V smarts into its DL backup boxen

Widens range with new appliances and standby VMs

NASA plots interplanetary cubesat swarms

Lots of small, cheap probes can tell us more than one big, expensive, probe

Hacker launches ransomware rescue kit

Steady, breathe: The wrong click could turn servers to brick

Intel wants containers to be alone again, naturally

VT-x virtualisation extensions pressed into service improving container security

Mobiles at school could be MAKING YOUR KID MORE DUMBER

Instant messaging and Candy Crush Saga in class creates learning not-spots

Delphix offers a mask for your data

Acquisition protects customer info from dev teams

Odin (formerly Parallels) bets big on Docker and OpenStack

Virtuozzo to get native support for Docker

Andreessen tips spare change into sensor startup Samsara

Along with World+Dog, Meraki founders reckon IoT is next big thing

HP looks set to ditch 3Com-spawn H3C Tech

Tsinghua Unigroup to scoop remnants of once-mighty Ethernet pioneer

Extreme Networks restructures again, promises SDN pivot

Global workforce to be cut by 18 per cent in search of savings

Google DOG WHISTLING fails to send URLs across the room

I don't like your Tone, Google, try something I can hear

Huawei announces tiny 10 KB IoT kernel

LiteOS will be made open source

The Internet of Things becomes the Game of Thrones in standards war

Z-Wave thinks it's VHS to opponent's Betamax

Rand Paul stages Senate filibuster against Patriot Act

Update Bipartisan effort to kill Section 215

India plans space telescope launch in second half of 2015

ASTROSAT won't trouble Hubble, will excite boffins at University of Leicester

Call girl gets six years for Googler's drug death

Tichelman pleads guilty in heroin overdose killing

Robocalling Americans? That'll cost you $1.7 MEEELLION

Companies slammed for violating FTC laws

Get off the phone!! Seven out of ten US drivers put theirs and your lives at risk

Texting on the road the equivalent of four beers, says experts

Google, Twitter search deal: Did micro-blabbing site gag racy tweets to satisfy ad giant?

Comment Smutty material reportedly set to be covered up

US Air Force launches not-so-secret space plane. Thanks Russia

X-37B up and in orbit. Let a thousand solar sails bloom

Altice to buy controlling stake in Suddenlink for NINE BEEELION dollars

Barely takes time to sleep it off before it starts sizing up Time Warner Cable

EU parliament pushes for Dodd-Frank style conflict mineral laws

Is your iPhone fuelling African atrocities? Not any more, say MEPs

Google Maps gets hit with racist White House listing

Maybe it's time to make those user edit bans permanent

Nexenta flies over the Edge into the object storage bearpit

ZFS alternative hits the streets

Why does Uber keep its drivers' pay so low? Ex-CFO: 'Cos we can'

Some men just want to watch the world burn

Cunningham exits EVault, pauses, then takes controls at Springpath

Set the controls for the hole in the dam

US plans to apply export controls to 0-days put out for comment

Gov looking to break record for collection of most comments ending in 'off' in 60-days

Average enterprise 'using 71 services vulnerable to LogJam'

What do you mean our firewall has foundations made of cheese?

China megacorp Tencent parrots Communists' 'Internet Plus' edict

'Software-defined networking is key architectural strategy' says party. Sorry, veep

Speaking in Tech: How come everyone's stopped doing private cloud on OpenStack?

Podcast Plus: 'We always build cloud better when we're...'

French outsourcer Atos fattens revenues on UK public sector

UK government biz buoys otherwise flat sales

RSA supremo rips 'failed' security industry a new backdoor, warns of 'super-mega hack'

RSA 2015 Walls and moats can't beat ladders and boats

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