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So why exactly are IT investors so utterly clueless?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I wash my hands of the whole matter

BOFH: How long does it take to complete Friday's lager-related tasks?

Episode 17 'I bloody hate time management applications'

Meet ARM1, grandfather of today's mobe, tablet CPUs – watch it crunch code live in a browser

Pics Gate-level blueprints restored for anniversary

Final countdown – NSA says it really will end blanket phone spying on US citizens this Sunday

We're leaving together ...

Millions of families hit in toymaker VTech hack – including 200,000+ kids

Youngsters' personal info, parents' contact details leak from Chinese gizmo giant

Doctor Who: The Hybrid finally reveals itself in the epic Heaven Sent

TV Review 'Come on. Chop, chop. The Doctor will see you now'

Meet ARM1, grandfather of today's mobe, tablet CPUs – watch it crunch code live in a browser

Pics Gate-level blueprints restored for anniversary

Court: Swedish ISPs can't be forced to block Sweden's Pirate Bay

In brief Meanwhile, Germany says broadband providers may be liable in piracy claims

Final countdown – NSA says it really will end blanket phone spying on US citizens this Sunday

We're leaving together ...

VW's Audi suspends two engineers in air pollution cheatware probe

In brief Convenient

Millions of families hit in toymaker VTech hack – including 200,000+ kids

Youngsters' personal info, parents' contact details leak from Chinese gizmo giant

What a bum note: Violin's shares perform financial diminuendo

Flash storage upstart's stock needs some tonic as it crumples to $1.30 apiece

Research: Microsoft the fastest growing maker of tablet OSs ... by 2019

Nine years late is better than nothing

IT manager jailed for 5 years for attempting dark web gun buy

'Walter Mitty type' told officers he wanted to be NCA officer

Kids charity hit by server theft

Some personal data stored, but motive likely equipment theft, says Plan UK

Protection at last: Operation Emergency UPS succeeds for Telecity

Power protection for cloud and VoIP crowd

Hungryhouse resets thousands of customers' passwords

Good security hygiene after third-party data breach

Investigatory Powers Tribunal scraps its first annual report

We didn't expect to have so much to be transparent about

Texas HPC cowboys win award for data-nomming flashy Wrangler

Stuffed with DSSD's clustered flash stash

Continuous Lifecycle call for papers: It’s the final countdown

96 hours – don’t let it end in tears

Rooting and modding a Windows Phone is now child's play

What could possibly go wrong?

BOFH: How long does it take to complete Friday's lager-related tasks?

Episode 17 'I bloody hate time management applications'

So why exactly are IT investors so utterly clueless?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I wash my hands of the whole matter

Who owns space? Looking at the US asteroid-mining act

Comment It is dangerous and potentially illegal, claims legal expert

Outsourcer didn't press ON switch, so Reg reader flew 15 hours to do the job

On-Call Dell servers have this one weird feature that anyone competent would understand

Mr Grey, the Russian hacker who helped haul in 1.2 billion logins

Courts release open source intel data sales scams on one man

EU copyright reforms to be 'gradual, balanced and targeted', says Ansip

All will be revealed in a 'strategy paper' next month

Australian cops rush to stop 2AM murder of … a spider

Macho death threats, winsome shrieks both came from arachnophobic chap

Mobe-maker OnePlus 'fesses up to flouting USB-C spec

Adapter and cable are fine with OnePlus' own phones, but other kit could cook

Enterprise vendors get into the swing of Black Friday sales

Cheap servers, tech books and desktop hypervisors can be yours

HTTPSohopeless: 26,000 Telstra Cisco boxen open to device hijacking

Embedded device mayhem as rivals share keys

Russian nuke plant operator to build on-site data centre

'Status: Green' may not be what you want to hear if you put data in Kalinin

NZ Uni EMC broke considered ditching EMC before SNAFU

VNX fleet was almost out of warranty, RFI called for replacements

Microsoft rides to Dell's rescue, wrecks rogue root certificate

Windows Defender lives up to its name by dealing death to Dell's dumb DLL

Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

Review Zuli pushes past the competition - but how useful is it really?

Getting a little flashy! Funds are in place, and Kaminario targets growth

Feature Pure? Pah! Scale-out beats scale up

Last call for the NCC Group Cyber 10K challenge

Competition Get your entry in by Nov 30 for chance to win £10,000

Nuclear exploit kit seen chucking CryptoWall 4.0 at late patchers

First time this one's been seen in the wild

GDS £450m investment probably an 'accounting fudge' – gov IT analyst

Have we just been Rick rolled by Osbo?

RAF web survey asks for bank details via unencrypted email

Hey participants, don’t be like Jeremy Clarkson. Enough said

MPs and peers have just weeks to eyeball UK gov's super-snoop bid

IPB Meanwhile, vague 'Internet Connection Record' term worries small ISPs

Broadband's frequency hunters denied Freeview patch – for now

Of COM8 and CBeebies: multiplex snare

Startup is creating real-time Big Data analytics storage

Surviving under the waterfall deluge of Big Data

Top copper Lynne Owens to lead National Crime Agency

Leaves leafy Surrey for London

HP storage financials: Meh. Meg Whitman needs to make this right

+Comment Final results aren't good for storage bods at HP(E)

US gourmets sizzle in bacon-scented underwear

'Lovers of naughty bits and breakfast rejoice'

Android on Windows is disruptive because neither Microsoft nor Google can stop it

A blast from the past: Meet AMIDuOS

What the world needs now is Pi, sweet $5 Raspberry Pi Zero

Ickle Welsh 'puter packs punch, is cheaper than a pricey latte

HPE to open private London drinking club

IT party central at City premises?

Brits learning from the Continent? Authority, digi gov wheezes and the Autumn Statement

Analysis Scrap the dead trees and get it all on email

Sneaky Microsoft renamed its data slurper before sticking it back in Windows 10

How many coincidences does it take to be Scroogled?

Nuisance call blocking firms fined £170,000 ... for making nuisance calls

Trebles all round!

128GB DDR4 DIMMs have landed so double your RAM cram plan

Samsung's monster memory is here and 96-DIMM-slot servers can now pack … WOAH!

Samsung Gear VR is good. So good 2016 could be year virtual reality finally makes it

But can anyone make VR content? Ask whoever runs your local film school ...

Researcher reveals Chinese e-crime shopping list

Crazy low prices for app 'purchases', or perhaps you'd like a poison PoS unit?

Capita increases share of public sector revenue to measly £1.8bn

Top 20 IT suppliers made £10.7bn from gov last year as 'relationship improves'

Mozilla annual report shows risky Google dependency now risky Yahoo! dependency

Revenue up 4.9 per cent, but browser market share shrinking

Lenovo slings privilege patches at in-built tools

Temp account means God mode for regular users.

Green rectangles are the new rounded rectangles

Logowatch Hewlett Packard Enterprise's green box unleashes green monster at Korean portal with similar logo

Indian scientists teach computers to see by watching Cricket

Mashing up Indian Premier League and CricInfo offers new machine learning approach

Lazy IoT, router makers reuse skeleton keys over and over in thousands of devices – new study

SSH logins, server-side HTTPS certs baked in firmware

Nest defends web CCTV Cam amid unstoppable 24/7 surveillance fears

The truth about camera that seemingly keeps recording even when powered off

Nominet to hike price of UK web domains by 50%

Costs risen considerably, says CEO. Members not persuaded

Samsung yanks plug out of rumors of networking biz sell-off

Everyone else: Samsung has a network business?

Finding security bugs on the road to creating a verifiably secure TLS lib

Microsoft, French bods push for mathematically provable bug-free code

Hewlett Packard Enterprise and Azure sitting in a tree, p-a-r-t-n-e-r-i-n-g

The company that's definitely not HP Inc makes Microsoft its 'preferred public cloud' supplier

Fingers crossed tomorrow morning for Telecity's third repair shot

In the new circuit breaker we trust

VMware lawsuit fallout causes funding issues for GPL lobby group

Software Freedom Conservancy now gets the big tech cold shoulder, it claims

IOCCO: Police 'reckless' for using terrorism powers on journo sources

No regard for human rights, judicial approval

Plusnet ignores GCHQ, spits out plaintext passwords to customers

At least we don't email them, says security-shy telco

Dell-EMC deal difficulties: VMware and daddy postpone roadtrip

Sorry investors, we have to sort a Virtustream problem at home

Thin-lipped chancellor tight-lipped on contractor-nudge-onto-payroll plan

Autumn Statement Small print says something's afoot ...

Spending Review: GDS gets £450m, Cabinet Office budget slashed

Pledge for citizens to have option to pay online for every central gov service

Speaking in Tech: Is Dell's EMC acquisition doomed, or just too big to fail?

Podcast Oracle’s Hollis: It’ll happen, but what about the debt?

UK gov sinks £25k into Pi-powered cyberdesk

The connected future of not owning your work space

Android Studio 2.0 preview gives developers instant preview of code changes

Latest developer tool also adds GPU profiler, Java to native debugging

Sales, share price sink for HP Inc – but it's relative glee for HPE

Who said breakin' up was hard to do?

Brocade wrings profits from a steady-as-she-goes business

Analysis The SAN growth glory days are well and truly over, so where next?

Hilton confirms hotel credit-card-snaffling sales till malware hit

Check your bank statements if you paid on plastic

Eclipse staggers to feet, gets smacked by second DDoS

Internet service provider tells us: 'Internet based services' hit

Thai women drugged punters 'with Xanax-spiked nipples' – cops

NSFW Tourists incapacitated and robbed in chesticular sting

Telecity fails with car park net rescue plan. In fact, things got worse. Again

'Seamless' power transfer borked all the juice supplies

Google says it tried to preempt EU antitrust probe. That worked well

We're just so full of awesomeness even the nerdy kids want to regulate us

Microsoft Windows: The Next 30 Years

Analysis Is Satya Redmond's Atatürk? Or พระบาทสมเด็จพระปรมินทรมหาจุฬาลงกรณ์ พระจุลจอมเกล้าเจ้าอยู่หัว ?

Grow up, judge tells EFF: You’re worse than a complaining child

Slacktivist setback

Why Microsoft yanked its latest Windows 10 update download: It hijacked privacy settings

Update now fixed, we're told

EMC mess sends New Zealand University TITSUP for two days

The more EMC tried to fix it, the worse things became

Cartoon brings proper tech-talk to telly

Amazing Gumball character 'bypassed storage controller, decrypted disks, accessed ESXi server cluster'

Mincing Nokia's factories made Microsoft a sausage factory

Redmond's diversity report reveals women bore brunt of 'restructure of phone business'

Hacker predicts AMEX card numbers, bypasses chip and PIN

Easy algorithm and US$10 bork-box mean fun for fraudsters

Second Dell backdoor root cert found

Blackhats, head straight to the airport lounge.

Amazon resets account passwords feared compromised – report

Book baron keeps mum about reason for emergency emails

Tor Project: Anonymity ain't free, folks. Pony up

Privacy network passes around the hat

Dell computers bundled with backdoor that blurts hardware fingerprint to websites

Analysis How it works

Fifth arrest in TalkTalk hacking probe: Now Plod cuff chap in Wales

A ydynt yn hyd yn oed yn cael y rhyngrwyd yng Nghymru?

Cyber-terror: How real is the threat? Squirrels are more of a danger

Comment No, go ahead, let's spend billions worrying about an iPearl Harbor

Kim Dotcom slams 'dirty ugly bully' Uncle Sam as extradition hearing ends

It only took nine weeks

Ex-IT staff claim Disney fired them then gave their jobs H1-B peeps

Where discrimination comes true, allegedly

NetApp, now much more object storage than you’d think

Comment Acquisitions finally being developed and put to use

Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Pics and vid VTOL win for Blue Origin

Video malvertising campaign lasted 12 hours? Try two months

Vid crapware issue worse than you thought - researchers

Uber wants UK gov intervention over TfL’s '5-minute wait' rule

Taking ‘money from drivers’ pockets’ claims taxi/app firm

What do you need to deliver next-gen Enterprise applications?

Live webcast Traditional RDBMS vs NoSQL fitness

TV broadcast vans drive ESA from Perth

Space agency seeks quieter spot for Oz launch tracking ops

A font farewell to Fontdeck as website service closes

It’s that, or ‘stagnate as competition improves’

'Hypocritical' Europe is just as bad as the USA for data protection

Max Schrems' bomb just keeps going off

Systemax: Shuttering our North America Tech Group may cost $55m

Exiting leases, closing exec ops, selling inventory ditches PHP for Calypso JavaScript beat

Nice little open source reboot for a quarter of the web's sites

El Reg unchains the Vulture Velo cycling jersey

Striking peloton-leading style available now at Cash'n'Carrion

Randall Munroe spoke to The Reg again. We're habit-forming that way

Web comic author talks procrastination, illustration and the Thing Explainer

NCC pays €133m for security shack Fox-IT

Dutch cyber company acquired as NCC dreams of glorious tomorrow

Science Museum trumpets Da Vinci expo

The Mechanics of Genius lands in London next year

MoJ restarts troubled £250m National Offender management ICT system

Yes, again. Department on track to become IT basketcase

We pick storage brains: Has object storage endgame started?

Interview Too many companies, too few projects.... right?

Oracle confesses to quietly axing its UK software support centre

Exclusive More than '1,000' jobs thought to be for the chop in worldwide downsizing

North Korea is capable of pwning Sony. Whether it did is another matter

Sysadmin Blog PART 2 – It looked like a training exercise anyway

Google launches virtual plastic pal who's fun to be with

Faster, prettier Android Studio dev tool preview debuts

Downloads for Windows 10 November big-bang build axed by Microsoft

Back to Windows Update like everyone else, IT pros

Who's right on crypto: An American prosecutor or a Lebanese coder?

Special report District attorney and encrypted chat app dev sound off on privacy

ESXi's been borking VM backup and there's no fix yet

Update Patch lands, but prepare to reboot hosts and guests

Video still causing mobile data traffic to shoot through the roof

Add some M2M into the mix... and trouble's coming

British duo arrested for running malware encryption service

Customers freak, yell :Time to DBAN!"

Paris, jihadis, tech giants ... What is David Cameron's speechwriter banging on about now?

Clare Foges' outburst pulled apart by law prof, infosec expert

World's most complex cash register malware plunders millions in US

'ModPos' kernel monster threatens haul during festive shopping blitz

Pen tester sounds alert over 'gaping' flaws in Brit alarm platform

To update a CSL DualCom rig rip off the glue, unscrew the box, manually flash each unit

Dum dum dum - another cloud bites the dust (Adobe's photo cloud)

And Adobe's cloud's gone, and Seagate's cloud's gone, another one bites the dust

What America's drone owner database could look like in future

ID number per person, tiny gadgets exempted, personal info optional, etc

Webinar: How to stay productive in an always-on world

Promo Or how I learned to combat the effect of disruptions on job performance

Amazon now renting physical servers you can cuddle and love

Long term discount deals coming to make AWS different from hosting how exactly?

Wikipedia's ON DRUGS again, complains Russia

No threat of ban yet, but it can't be far off on past form

Dell: How to kill that web security hole we put in your laptops, PCs

Promises to automatically remove root CA cert from machines from Nov 24

EMC CEO promises 'minimal disruption to existing product lines'

David Goulden pledges support stays the same, innovation for current products

Superfish 2.0 worsens: Dell's dodgy security certificate is an unkillable zombie

Updated And now here's how you can really destroy it

Superfish 2.0: Dell ships laptops, PCs with huge internet security hole

Root CA certificate opens up folks to banking, shopping snooping, etc

Windows 10 pilot rollouts will surge in early 2016, says Gartner

Takeup will be ‘significantly more rapid than seen with Windows 7’

Google takedown requests mushroom as copyright holders play whack-a-mole

More than 65m requests flood into Choc Factory in past month

Europe didn't catch the pox from Christopher Columbus – scientists

Syphilis was around before his New World jaunt, Austrian skeleton suggests

Shocker: Smut-viewing Android apps actually steal your data

Pr0n software actually leads to pwnage

TalkTalk Business email servers titsup for days after DNS config snafu

'Handful of customers' told to wait until Tuesday for a fix

We chew over CCS Insight's look into the fu-ture-ture-ture-ture

Get your 2016 predictions here

EE plans to block annoying ads on mobile network

Operator mulls controls for 27m subscribers, chief says it's not about blocking

ICO fines PPI claims firm £80,000 over 1.3m spam SMS deluge

More fines, totalling £250,000, to be doled out this week

Homebrew crypto in Telegram hangout app full of holes, say security pros

'Jihadi favourite' cooked up by Vkontakte's Durov Bros

Want to defend your network? Profile the person attacking it

Sysadmin Blog PART 1 – Can't keep them out, so catch them while they’re in

Austria's highest court mulls class action status for Schrems v Facebook

1000s of privacy gripes deserve to be heard, says complainant

Irish electricity company threatens to cut off graveyard

Unregistered 'occupant' receives disconnection notice

Data breach at biz that manages Cisco, F5 certs plus many others

Pearson VUE says credentials manager product affected

Brit filmmaker plans 10hr+ Paint Drying epic

By law, the BBFC must suffer every single minute of it

Cisco slurps Acano for $700m

Brit video conferencing and collaboration biz to be assimilated by the borg

Malvertising: How the ad model makes crime pay

Feature ... and who's liable for all the money lost?

This storage startup dedupes what to do what? How?

Sysadmin Blog Yep, it's complicated. Our man Trev unravels one new firm's tech

Blocking out the Sun won't fix climate change – but it could buy us time

Refreeze the poles... giant magnifying glass... What shall we do?

How cyber insurance actually works

Insurance industry insider tells all

Top Android app devs found exfiltrating mystery stealth packets

Half of covert packets are about analytics, half are a mystery

All Cisco certs add cloud, IoT, 'business transformation'

Network admins: Go buy a tie and some kool-aid, diluted to 10 per cent of your marks

Intel hires Qualcomm's compute leader to lead new mobile push

Venkata Renduchintala to run Chipzilla's re-organised client and IoT efforts